Showing results for "paul jennings" in Literature & Fiction

It's unbearable... The bird's perch is swinging to and fro and hitting me on the nose. I can see my eye in its little mirror. Unbearably weird... You have the foulest feet ever. There are flies for lunch. A goat swallows your opal. And you have lived before.

Stare if you dare, into Paul Jennings' wild world. What happens when you grow younger?

From Australia's multi-award-winning master of madness Paul Jennings comes the long-awaited and much-asked-for new collection of strange and startling stories guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Have you ever swallowed a live fish? Seen bugs in hailstones? Had luminous teeth? Used a smell-detector? Been a ghost? No? Then read about eight kids who have!Eight twisted tales to leave you tongue-tied!

Stare if you dare, into Paul Jennings' wild world. How will you stop a thousand rabbits breeding in your bedroom?

Sprocket's lost his memory; Amy's lost her dad. So now the two of them are on a quest that will take them to the weirdest nudist colony in the world - a hidden community whose dangerous experiments are keeping the nudists alive artificially. Now that their secret is out, are Amy and Sprocket's lives in peril?

"This is unbelievable. This is unreal. What is going on here? First I get a toilet seat stuck around my face and now this little parrot is following me around."

Unseen events like... the dead coming back to life...

Oh yuck. The mice were running up my trousers. They wriggled under my shirt. They were even inside my underpants. Mice, madness, and mayhem.

I'm undone....Yes, I know. I'm a fink. A rat. A creep. Nobody likes Eric Mud and it's all my fault. But I don't deserve this, do I?

On the other side of the fence horrible, gobbling squeals came from THE SLOBBERERS as they fought over the bloody trail I had left behind.

"Help," shouted Chris. "Please. Somebody help." The silent green head had power over him. The cabbage patch curse was too strong. 'Zip.' Down came his fly. "Don't look. Don't look," shouted Chris. "Don't look. Don't look," shouted Ms. Henderson. But it was too late. Chris let fly. Splash, splash, sploosh. It could only happen in a Paul Jennings story, and it does.

"I burst out of a clump of bushes and froze. Silhouetted against the moonlit sky were several massive shapes. What if Eileen had infected something else? What if the hospital had cockroaches? Or bedbugs? What if the frogs weren't all dead? I stifled a scream."

In the second title in the popular Rascal the Dragon series, Rascal goes to the park to learn some tricks to frighten away the Big Bad Cat. But he is not getting the hang of them. "You must scare Big Bad Cat," says Ben. Rascal is such a small dragon, Can he do it?

Rook Barkwater dreams of becoming a librarian knight - sent out to explore the mysteries of the Edgeworld. So when his chance comes, he grabs it. Breaking all the rules, he sets out on a journey to the Free Glades and beyond.

I gulped. My mouth was dry. How could I tell her? How could I just announce that her son?s innards had been sucked out by giant worms and that his skin was probably flapping somewhere in the morning breeze? I turned away, struggling to find the words.

"Roy's tiny breaths sounded like milkshake fighting its way up a very thin straw. His eyes were closed. 'Rory', I said. 'Don't die. Don't die.' His eyes fell open. They flicked wildly around. 'The goat', he shouted. I didn't bother looking behind me. I knew there was no goat. And I knew Rory wasn't dying. Not yet."

"'There he is', Gramps shrieked. 'The Spy. The scumbag spy.' I looked up and saw a monstrous white hairy face disappear into the drain. I had never seen such a frightening sight. White hair covered its entire head. I couldn't even see any eyes. In a flash Gramps splashed into the drain after it."

Christopher is 12,000 miles from home. The pub has a dirt floor and the owner is as rough as guts. The forest hides snakes, feral pigs and a dark secret. Mysterious, bold and strange. Expect the unexpected. And watch your step. Enter this place and you will be different forever.

Quint is travelling with his father, Wind Jackal, on a mission to track down and bring to justice Turbot Smeal, the man who started the fire that killed their family. Having left behind his studies at the Knights Academy, Quint is now eager to learn what it really means to be a sky pirate and to learn from his father. But Wind Jackal is consumed by his desire to capture Smeal - and his judgement is flawed. His actions endangers the lives of his crew - and his son.

"Charge!" came Gramps' excited voice. I gasped. The frog general was as big as a full-grown cow. He started to roll his tongue back into his mouth. He was going to slurp me up and slide me down his throat.

"Out you go," says Dad. It is cold outside. How can a little dragon get in? Ben's dad won't let Rascal in until he learns how to beg. Rascal has other ideas, and Dad is not happy. Looks like Rascal is in trouble.