Showing results for "paul jennings" in Children's Audiobooks

It's unbearable... The bird's perch is swinging to and fro and hitting me on the nose. I can see my eye in its little mirror. Unbearably weird... You have the foulest feet ever. There are flies for lunch. A goat swallows your opal. And you have lived before.

Sprocket's lost his memory; Amy's lost her dad. So now the two of them are on a quest that will take them to the weirdest nudist colony in the world - a hidden community whose dangerous experiments are keeping the nudists alive artificially. Now that their secret is out, are Amy and Sprocket's lives in peril?

Stare if you dare, into Paul Jennings' wild world. What happens when you grow younger?

From Australia's multi-award-winning master of madness Paul Jennings comes the long-awaited and much-asked-for new collection of strange and startling stories guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Have you ever swallowed a live fish? Seen bugs in hailstones? Had luminous teeth? Used a smell-detector? Been a ghost? No? Then read about eight kids who have!Eight twisted tales to leave you tongue-tied!

"This is unbelievable. This is unreal. What is going on here? First I get a toilet seat stuck around my face and now this little parrot is following me around."

Unseen events like... the dead coming back to life...

Stare if you dare, into Paul Jennings' wild world. How will you stop a thousand rabbits breeding in your bedroom?

Oh yuck. The mice were running up my trousers. They wriggled under my shirt. They were even inside my underpants. Mice, madness, and mayhem.

I'm undone....Yes, I know. I'm a fink. A rat. A creep. Nobody likes Eric Mud and it's all my fault. But I don't deserve this, do I?

Reptile spun the wheel and expertly changed gear. We screeched round a corner. I was flung back against the seat. Desperately I hung on to the howling baby. 'When your father finds out what you've done', I yelled at the blond boy, 'you're in for it.' I stared at them trying to take it in. I was being kidnapped at high speed in a military vehicle by a bunch of little brats.... Uncovering deadly secret after deadly secret, Amy and Sprocket are lured deeper into a mystery that gets more exciting with every minute.

Amy and Sprocket are on a mission - to find her dad and his mum, rescue the baby from the Brats and uncover exactly what is going on inside the mysterious nudist colony. But the truth is even more terrifying than anything they imagined. Uncovering deadly secret after deadly secret, Amy and Sprocket are lured deeper into a mystery that gets more exciting with every minute.

"I burst out of a clump of bushes and froze. Silhouetted against the moonlit sky were several massive shapes. What if Eileen had infected something else? What if the hospital had cockroaches? Or bedbugs? What if the frogs weren't all dead? I stifled a scream."

On the other side of the fence horrible, gobbling squeals came from THE SLOBBERERS as they fought over the bloody trail I had left behind.

Those who guard us speak of us, in whispers as...'the Immortals.'' Nate Quarter is a lowly lamplighter in the phraxmines of the Eastern Woods.Until treachery forces him to flee for his life - to the mighty city of Great Glade. But these are turbulent times. In far-off Hive - the spectacular city founded by the goblin tribes - the clan leaders are preparing for war. And out beyond the dread Nightwoods, in the fabled gardens of Riverrise, a one-eyed waif jealously guards the life-giving waters of the mystical Riverrise spring.

"Help," shouted Chris. "Please. Somebody help." The silent green head had power over him. The cabbage patch curse was too strong. 'Zip.' Down came his fly. "Don't look. Don't look," shouted Chris. "Don't look. Don't look," shouted Ms. Henderson. But it was too late. Chris let fly. Splash, splash, sploosh. It could only happen in a Paul Jennings story, and it does.

"Can I have a dragon, please, Dad?" The answer is no. Or is it? In Ben's world, dragons exist like dogs and fulfill all the doggy functions with dragon overlays, like having two heads, or being able to fly. The dragons all correspond to various breeds of dog.

In the second title in the popular Rascal the Dragon series, Rascal goes to the park to learn some tricks to frighten away the Big Bad Cat. But he is not getting the hang of them. "You must scare Big Bad Cat," says Ben. Rascal is such a small dragon, Can he do it?

Brought to you by Penguin. Fourteen-year-old Quint Verginix is the only remaining son of famous sky-pirate Wind Jackal. He and his father have journeyed to the city of Sanctaphrax - a great floating rock, bound to the ground below by a chain, its inhabitants living with their heads literally in...

Rook Barkwater dreams of becoming a librarian knight - sent out to explore the mysteries of the Edgeworld. So when his chance comes, he grabs it. Breaking all the rules, he sets out on a journey to the Free Glades and beyond.

"Roy's tiny breaths sounded like milkshake fighting its way up a very thin straw. His eyes were closed. 'Rory', I said. 'Don't die. Don't die.' His eyes fell open. They flicked wildly around. 'The goat', he shouted. I didn't bother looking behind me. I knew there was no goat. And I knew Rory wasn't dying. Not yet."

I gulped. My mouth was dry. How could I tell her? How could I just announce that her son?s innards had been sucked out by giant worms and that his skin was probably flapping somewhere in the morning breeze? I turned away, struggling to find the words.