Showing results for "free audiobooks" in Humorous

He knows it, and so does everyone else in the star nation of Prometheus. A promising naval career down the drain just because he accidentally killed 504 civilians. So, it's time for him to give up and accept a dead-end command on Persephone, the worst starship in the fleet. Until he meets the beautiful and cunning Jessica Lin, his new executive officer, who harbors a terrible secret of her own. Now, with an enemy warship four times their size bearing down on them, Brad's in a race to save Jessica and his stupid ship.

Being tortured isn’t fun at all…especially when it’s your ex-flame attaching the battery cables to you. For Captain Brad Mendoza, his month has gone from bad to worse, and now all anyone seems interested in is the galaxy-changing secret that’s rattling around in his brain. Whoever breaks Brad can build an empire that will rival anything else in the Fringe!

Jessica Lin is missing! And Brad Mendoza has no idea where she is. But he has other problems, like the people trying to extort him into capturing a man he was probably going to kill anyway! Now, with bounty hunters, crime lords, their own Navy, and some random gunslinger after them, can Brad and Jessica find a little more dumb luck and save each other and their crew? Old villains return, and new friends are forged as they scramble against the worst odds they've ever seen.

Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself. And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.

In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.

After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.

Brad Mendoza is an idiot. He knows it, and so does everyone else. A promising naval career down the drain just, because he accidentally killed 504 civilians. So, it's time for him to give up and accept a dead-end command on Persephone, the worst ship in the fleet. Until he meets the beautiful and cunning Jessica Lin, his new executive officer, who harbors a terrible secret of her own. Now, he's in a race to save her and his stupid ship.

Power Day occurs every year on September 15th. Across the world, formerly regular people awaken with superhuman abilities—and labels to go with them. They become the next generation of Heroes...and Villains. September 15th is also Emily Wright’s first day on campus. While everyone else is out celebrating the start of their college career, Emily’s hiding in her dorm room. She wonders if it’s possible to earn a degree while completely avoiding eye contact with anyone. All she wants is to learn a little. Instead, she’s granted a superpower and categorized as villainous.

The newly renamed Vance Turbo has sabotaged his own career at Space Fleet Academy due to a desire to atone for a training accident. Unfortunately, his actions result in him getting press-ganged into an expendable crew of misfits recruited by a legendary starship captain. Their mission? To recover a collection of lost sun-destroying missiles that could restart a galactic war. Unfortunately, Vance is smart enough to know something is wrong with this picture. After all, no sane person would recruit this crew to save the universe.

In the year 2038, there’s only one destination that can play host to the world’s wealthiest adventure seekers: the Pengalaman Island Resort and Virtual Reality Theme Park. Located on a private South Pacific island, guests here live out their wildest fantasies in custom-made virtual reality simulations while also enjoying the usual amenities of an exclusive five-star getaway. All is relatively breezy until famed billionaire and avid guest, Mr. Wagner, goes missing within a virtual simulation. His only hope? A daring rescue led by Derek Ambrose and his ragtag search party.

Once, they were the galaxy’s most fearsome mercenaries… A lot has changed since then. Still, a friend is a friend. So, when one of their old crewmates dies under mysterious circumstances, the infamous Billy Firebrand calls the old crew back together for one last mission. With a busted ship, a lifetime’s worth of demons, and a galactic war on the line, they’ll face odds they probably couldn’t have beaten in their prime.

Earth was invaded. Earth was conquered. And humanity was summarily subjugated, as 400,000,000 people were culled. The terrifying part was this only took the Peacekeepers a second. There wasn't even a chance for us to fight back. In the blink of an eye, questions like whether or not we're alone in the universe or at the top of the food chain were answered. We were not. Not by a long shot. Despite the mass murder, the Peacekeepers promise they're benevolent. They don't want to rule Earth. They don't want to control humanity. They just want us to stop playing around with AI and genetics.

Evelyn enjoyed living a nice quiet life in an anarchic pirate port, far from the world she’d once conquered. Then came an attack by mercenaries that made her angry. By the time the dust settled, she had a group of former slaves which she’d freed, her djinn assistant had convinced several of the women that they should join Evelyn’s brand-new harem, and she was looking for a new home, likely aboard a ship.

Nancy Kranich (played by Emmy-nominated actress Natasha Lyonne of Russian Doll and Orange Is the New Black) is a night nurse on an orbiting space station. But Nancy hates her job, is sick of space, and longs to find adventure and a safe place to smoke cigarettes that won’t blow everyone up. But when Nancy gets caught up in an outer-space conspiracy involving President Kennedy, former vice-president Richard Nixon, and an intergalactic object that could change the course of history, she gets way more adventure than she bargained for.

Hunting pirates is hard…especially when your only assets are an unarmed ship, two ex-naval officers, a makeup artist, and a couple of pistols. But that’s exactly what Brad Mendoza and Jessica Lin have signed up to do on the edge of the Fringe: to help a bunch of farmers on a dead-end planet fight the pirate threat! Quickly, they find that they really don’t know what they’re doing…and not everything is what it seems.

GSW - a.k.a. a gunshot wound - back to front. That’s what landed me in Sophie’s operating room after a black op went to hell. After I bled out, she “volunteered” me for Project Angel, a top-secret program determined to revive KIAs with alien tech. I became their first success. Fast-forward to Armageddon: Demons are everywhere. Bodies even more so. After some intense fighting, we’ve reached the hospital where she worked. The place looks grim, but I’m not about to stop searching for the angel who saved my life.

Former Captain Brad Mendoza and former Commander Jessica Lin would be two of the most wanted people in the galaxy, except everyone thinks they're dead. Now, they're desperately trying to find a new way to make a living before they run out of fuel, food, and hope.

All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.

The thing about Artem... It's a damn hard city to live in if you haven't got creds, and for creds, you need opportunities. The thing about opportunities... They're thin on the ground for Orcs, one of the most reviled races in the sprawling city. If you happen to be an Orc left for dead on the frontlines of Artem's roving monster problem and stranded outside its immense city walls, then you're doubly screwed—like Oshbob. The thing about Oshbob... He's tough, and he's pissed! With a will to survive like few others, he's determined never to be subject to the whims of the elite ever again.

In his last life, Liam lived as a moral, responsible person...but died deep in debt and betrayed by his wife. Reborn into the ruling family of a vast interstellar empire, Liam knows that life is divided between the downtrodden and the ones who do the stomping, so this time he's going to take what he wants and live for himself. But somehow, things refuse to work out that way. Despite doing his best to become a tyrant, Liam's decisions lead to nothing but peace and prosperity for the empire under his rule, and he just gets more and more popular!