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My mother, my bully, my best friend. 😮‍💨 If you’ve ever loved your mama deeply and still needed softness you didn’t always get… this episode is for all the daughters, the tender-hearted grown girls, and the ones doing the healing out loud.

CAPTION:
This week on You’re So Real For That, we crack open our rib cages (gently!) and talk about the most intense relationship many of us will ever have — the mother-child bond. The love, the grief, the resentment, the grace, the repair. The “we cool now” AND the “but that still hurt.”

We start with a nightmare that turns into a truth-telling: “my mother, my bully, my best friend.” Then we unpack what it means when Black mothers “pre-harden” us for the world — even when what we needed was a soft place to land. We talk eldest daughter weight, AFAB dynamics, depression, body fear, church language, emotional emergency contacts, and the long work of naming the elephant in the room instead of living in a Cold War.

If you’ve ever said:

• “I love my mom… but I needed gentleness.”
• “Why did you try to toughen me up before life even got a chance?”
• “I want to be close, but there are still things I can’t say.”
• “I’m trying to release resentment for me.”

…pull up a chair. This one is tender, funny, and real-real.

✨ In this episode:
• Black motherhood + survival mode
• Eldest daughter/Black girl child realities
• Emotional safety, softness, and “gentle parent me”
• Repair: conversations, accountability, and the courage to name harm
• What we’re grateful for now, and what we still wish for
• Messages to our moms (whew)

🎧 Listen + show notes: www.sorealforthat.com

IG/Threads: @youresorealforthat
Email us your thoughts (or your mama story): sorealforthatpod@gmail.com

If this hit you, send it to a friend who’s doing the work, and tell us:
What’s one thing you’re grateful for in your relationship with your mom now… and one thing you still wish for?

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What’s a top-notch human experience for you? Like the kind where you’re so present you can feel the follicles of your hair and the tips of your toes?

In this episode of You’re So Real For That, we kick off the year with a nourishing, hilarious, unexpectedly tender conversation about the moments that make life feel worth living. We talk gratitude, presence, childlike wonder, and the small specific ways love shows up, especially when the world is loud and your nervous system is tired.

We get into:

• Feeling like a Superfrau after a hard season (and how self-care is not a vibe, it’s a survival plan)
• What makes a moment “top notch” (being a child again, wonder, awe, and being in the good times and knowing it)
• The science of gratitude: dopamine, serotonin, stress regulation, and why gratitude can shift how your brain processes life
• How hardship can flip the switch that teaches you how to recognize joy
• Love in the details: being remembered, being witnessed, being tended to
• Black joy as holy work: elders, auntie love, community pride, and the little rituals that keep us human
• And yes, we also discuss the extremely humbling experience of being taken out by spice. If you’ve ever been attacked by paprika or had a near-death experience with Takis… welcome home.

This one is for the Black women who are tired, brilliant, trying, and still choosing softness. For the nerds who love research and romance. For the people who want to feel more present inside their lives, not just productive.

Now tell us: what are your top-notch human experiences? We want your list.

Links:

The American Brain Foundation - Does Gratitude Rewire Your Brain?

Calm App Blog - The science of gratitude and how it can affect the brain

🎧 Listen + show notes: soreaforthatpod.com
📲 IG + Threads: @youresorealforthat
📧 Email us: sorealforthatpod@gmail.com

Keywords: Black women podcast, friendship podcast, gratitude practice, mindfulness, presence, joy, self care, burnout recovery, emotional wellness, nervous system care, Black joy, community, relationships, travel stories, personal growth.

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Friend… we’re jumping right back in. Part two of our diaspora conversation turns into a full Socratic seminar (with jokes, because we’re still us), because the questions are big:
What does it mean that “African” can be tied to place, while Blackness isn’t location-dependent? What happens when your culture is everywhere, but your “home” is nowhere on the map? And how do we build relationships across the Atlantic without reenacting empire?

In this episode, we talk diaspora tension, identity, culture, land, and the longing underneath it all. We get into: Black culture in the US as survival tech, the idea that “we echolocate each other because we are each other’s continent,” the grief of being told you don’t belong from multiple directions, and the difference between “I’m moving somewhere” vs “I’m trying to be in relationship with people and place.”

If you’ve ever wrestled with:
Black diaspora identity, African identity, “diaspora wars,” reclaiming culture, ancestral memory, place-making, migration, reverse migration, belonging, Black community, Black women’s inner lives, self-actualization, or how to build a life that can actually hold your dreams… this one’s for you.

Also: we do not let white folks off the hook. Please go get your Celtic and Norse ancestors. They are hungry.

🎧 Listen + follow: soreaforthatpod.com
Follow us: @youresorealforthat (IG + Threads)
Email us your take: sorealforthatpod@gmail.com

Content note: explicit language + deep talk on identity, belonging, diaspora tension, colonialism, and cultural grief.