This is one of the most common—and most heartbreaking—questions I hear: Can a narcissist change? In this episode of You Are Not Crazy, I’m walking you through the reality behind that question.

The short answer? Maybe—but almost never.

Real change requires emotional accountability, humility, and deep psychological work… and most narcissists aren’t willing to do that. Not because they can’t—but because they don’t see the need. In this episode, we explore why narcissistic change is so rare, how survivors get stuck waiting for the version of their partner that never existed, and what it means to reclaim your clarity instead of waiting for someone else's transformation.

I also share a personal reflection on what helped me break free from the fantasy of potential and face the truth of what was in front of me.

You’ll learn:

• Why even accurate criticism feels unbearable to a narcissist
• What it actually takes to change—and why most won’t
• How the trauma bond keeps you holding on
• How to stop waiting and start healing

✨ This episode pairs with my new course Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse, designed to help you make sense of the chaos and see your relationship clearly. Find it at emotionalabusecoach.com.

Support the show

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

When you're breaking a trauma bond or coming to terms with the end of a manipulative relationship, it doesn’t just bruise you—it shatters something inside. This kind of grief defies logic. You’re not just mourning a relationship. You’re grieving the version of you who believed in it, the future you imagined, and the love you gave so fully.

I walk through what this heartbreak really is—and what it isn’t. It’s not weakness. It’s not over-sensitivity. It’s a nervous system crash after prolonged emotional chaos. It’s what happens when your love was real, but the relationship was built on manipulation, betrayal, or broken promises.

Inside this episode:

• Why grief after narcissistic abuse feels unbearable
• The emotional rollercoaster of detaching from someone who hurt you
• How shame, self-blame, and rumination keep you stuck
• Why you still miss them, even when they treated you badly
• A reminder that your pain is a reflection of your depth—not a flaw

Support the show

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

What happens when the person you fought so hard to love turns out to be incapable of loving you back? What do you do with the grief, the self-doubt, and the tidal wave of confusion that follows?

In this raw and deeply personal episode, I unpack what it means to love someone with traits of Cluster B personality disorders—specifically, narcissistic and borderline features—and why walking away doesn’t bring immediate peace. I share the story of how my relationship ended, the impossible ultimatum I was given, and the unraveling that came after.

We explore:

• Why you still miss them even though they hurt you
• The reality of trauma bonding and emotional addiction
• What it means to be with someone who can imitate love but not sustain it
• The devastation of being blamed for everything, including their own behavior
• The disorienting grief that follows when you're mourning the illusion, not the reality
• What healing actually looks like when you finally choose yourself

This episode is for anyone who left a relationship and still doesn’t understand why it hurts so much. For the person who can’t stop blaming themselves. For the survivor who is starting to realize: it wasn’t you. It was never you.

Support the show

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner