Ever been so damn good at your job that your “reward” is more work dumped on your plate—while everyone else gets the breaks, praise, and actual support? This episode is your tender, truth-telling permission slip to not hold everyone’s chaos together, even if you’re the highest-functioning human in the room.

Hélène takes you into the root-level behind why your competence keeps backfiring (hint: productivity isn’t worthiness, despite what burnout culture sells). From bathtub voice memos to the myth of “team players,” we dig into:

• Why society weirdly punishes competence instead of rewarding it

• How your boss’s secret savior complex shapes your workload

• The difference between being capable and actually having capacity

• How to manage up with integrity, not martyrdom

• Four real, nuanced steps to advocate for yourself at work (without setting fire to your whole life)

This one’s part rant, part strategy guide, part love letter to anyone tired of being the glue. If you’ve ever thought “maybe it all should fall apart,” you’re in the right place.

Connect with Hélène:

Topic requests/Coaching inquiries: hello@helenecanhelp.comWebsite: www.helenecanhelp.comInstagram: @helenecanhelp

CHAPTERS:

00:00 "Society's Productivity Paradox"

05:40 Avoid Overcommitting to Prevent Burnout

09:16 "Balance Expectations and Capacity"

11:48 Redefining Success and Potential

16:39 Transactional Leadership and Power Dynamics

19:40 Conflict: Efficiency vs. Equity

22:53 Clarifying Purpose and Priorities

24:30 Purpose-Driven Advocacy Strategy

30:21 Handling Project Roadblocks and Responses

32:05 "Rethink Escalation: A Leadership Tool"

35:56 Reclaim Your Power at Work

Keywords:

managing up, workplace boundaries, competence, burnout, capacity vs capability, self-advocacy, personal fulfillment, productivity culture, people pleasing, team dynamics, corporate systems, self worth, overwork, leadership, self trust, power dynamics, purpose, work-life balance, martyrdom, systemic critique, communication, self care

Welcome back to What the Hélène?!, the anti-hustle podcast for ambitious rebels craving more than just burnout recovery. This week, Hélène Caniac dives headlong into the messy, unscripted terrain of grief—not just the aftershock of losing someone, but the covert grief that sneaks in every time you challenge your identity, quit a job, or say yes to real change.

We unpack why every leap forward drags grief along for the ride (spoiler: it’s not just sadness), and why our culture leaves most of us flailing for tools outside of “power through it” or “chin up.” From leaving the military to losing her mom, Hélène shares how the full, gnarly wave of grief is actually baked into transformation—and how the real rebellion is letting yourself feel all of it.

Expect irreverent wisdom, hard-won vulnerability, and a no-bullshit invitation to swap shame for self-inquiry (and a dash of pleasure, because, sorry, you can’t grit your way out of despair).

Timestamps / Chapters:

00:00 – Why Grief Follows Every Big Change
01:40 – Redefining Grief: It’s Bigger Than Loss
03:19 – Leaving the Military: Identity, Regret & Blindside Grief
04:39 – Divorce, Jobs, Relationships: Grieving the Old You
06:44 – Beyond 5 Stages: Grief as Ocean, Not Checklist
08:30 – Grief Transforms: Moving Through the Tunnel
10:15 – Why Society Sucks at Grieving
12:03 – Finding Community & Getting (Uncomfortable) Support
14:24 – The Multitudes Within Grief—Anger, Regret, Relief
16:26 – When Change Messes With Purpose and Connection
18:30 – Burnout as Sneaky Pre-Grief
20:35 – Why Pleasure (Not Just Pain) Belongs in Grief
22:16 – The Real Costs of Avoidance
23:16 – Grieving the World, Identity, and “What Should Have Been”
25:42 – The Unsalvageable: Accepting Permanent Change
26:28 – That Damn Caterpillar: Transformation is Goo
28:10 – What Grief Actually Gives You
31:06 – Losing Her Mom: The “Strong Friend” Gets Broken Open
33:38 – Transmuting Grief into Purpose, Joy & Legacy
35:36 – Trees, Leaves, and Permission to Let Go
36:26 – Facing Your Own Grief: The Next Emotion & What You’ll Carry Forward
37:05 – Wrapping Up – There Is Light at the End (Bring Snacks)

Highlights:

• Grief isn’t an obstacle course. It’s a tunnel—the only way out is through (sometimes crawling).

• We grieve not just people, but whole identities and unlived versions of ourselves.

• Sorrow, anger, resentment, and regret all get bundled together—if you’re “stuck,” it might be leftover grief.

• Pleasure and community aren’t a luxury, they’re how you metabolize pain (even if your inner capitalist winces).

• The world is heavy, and collective grief is real—let’s stop pretending otherwise.

If you’re craving a permission slip to grieve honestly, show up messy, and still believe in new joy, this episode is your lantern in the tunnel.

Ready to claim your next season or want 1:1 support?
Discover the Reclamation at helenecanhelp.com/reclamation

Welcome to the What the Helene Podcast, where fulfillment coach and recovering overachiever Hélène Caniac dismantles perfectionism with unfiltered honesty, sharp humor, and more compassion than you probably give yourself. In this episode, Hélène gets real about the messy reality of chasing dreams in a world obsessed with getting it “right.” From barking dogs and noisy neighbors to the myth of the perfect productivity hack, she exposes the absurdity of waiting for ideal conditions and urges us to embrace imperfection as a radical path to freedom, self-acceptance, and actual joy.

Through smart storytelling and the occasional joyful rant, Hélène unpacks everything from military metaphors to why planning your way to healing is a trap, offering nuanced insights that land somewhere between personal growth and societal critique. If you’re tired of binary success/failure thinking and want permission to fuck around and find out—this episode’s for you. It’s not about striving for the utopia of “having it all together.” It’s about showing up, taking messy action, and learning to call yourself a success on your own terms.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 The Pursuit of Perfection

04:52 Rethinking Children's Aspirations

09:01 Embrace Present Moment Awareness

13:59 Path to Healing and Grace

15:40 Trapped in Self-Reliance Cycle

18:38 Embrace Imperfect Action