Happy ADHD Awareness Month! Ellie is back with her partner Sam for another candid chat about life with ADHD, and life as an neurodivergent couple. This week we explore what we wish people knew about ADHD, why feedback is so crucial for us as ADHDers, and we share the ways we've learned to split responsibilities at home. We also talk honestly about why ADHDers can be so tough on themselves and answer some more of your listener questions.

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In this week’s episode, Ellie's ADHD partner Sam is back to share the story of their relationship - navigating conflict, emotional regulation, and yes, how they deal with intimacy. From being good friends and retrospectively noticing early signs of undiagnosed ADHD and AuDHD to how they’ve learned to grow together, they open up and celebrate the strengths that neurodivergence brings into their lives. It’s a candid and vulnerable look at what it means for Ellie and Sam to love and live as an ND couple, in the hopes of helping others feel seen when it comes to the trials and tribulations of finding love and a partnership.

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In this episode Paige is on holiday, so Ellie sits down with her partner Sam to talk about his journey with late-diagnosed ADHD. From childhood challenges and misunderstood behaviours, to the coping mechanisms he developed along the way, to the huge relief (and grief) of finally getting a diagnosis - we dig into what life looked like before and after. Sam shares how he found his career as a young social media star, why it helped him process his emotions pre-diagnosis and he opens up about struggling with emotional regulation.

Next week we’ll chat with Sam again, and dive into what it’s like to navigate a relationship together as two neurodivergent people.

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Just like last episode, we're going through a common autism screener (Autism Quotient) and discussing the limitations of these questions (especially if you might be AuDHD). While tools like this can be a helpful first step, they also have major blind spots - especially around masking, nuance, and gender differences. We share the answers we gave in our actual screeners from a few years back and disuss why lived experience needs to be an important part of neurodevelopmental assessments.

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If you’ve ever taken an ADHD screener and thought, “Well, that didn’t feel accurate…” you’re not alone! In this episode, we walk through the 18 questions you're generally asked in New Zealand, to work out whether you are "worth" further assessment for ADHD. We go through the screener, answer them as AuDHDers, and show why screeners don't always capture the full picture - especially if you’ve spent years masking, you've got trauma or other diagnoses. There are so many limitations to these screeners, and we hope this episode gives you more confidence in your interpretation of them.

Here's the link to the screener we are referencing.

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Meet our ADHD Dad, Grant! He was born in the 60s - in a generation that barely knew anything about neurodivergence. Dad went through school, work, parenting, literally everything without a diagnosis until much later in life, and unfortunately his parents had passed away before he was diagnosed. In this episode, Grant shares what it’s like to piece together your story backwards, how late diagnosis changed the way he sees himself, what it's like getting ADHD coaching and we discuss the generational differences in awareness and stigma. He also reflects on some hilarious stories from his childhood (that now make sense after getting his diagnosis). We're really grateful for our Dad's vulnerabilty and the advice he shares from his own lived experience.

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In this episode, we explore Pathological Demand Avoidance (more compassionately known as Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) - a profile most often linked with autism that goes far beyond being just being “stubborn.” We break down what PDA is, our understanding of it and how it's appeared in our life, and why everyday requests can feel overwhelming or even threatening - even if the demand is from within your own mind. We share personal stories of when demands have triggered resistance (sometimes without us even realising why), and unpack the differences between ADHD task resistance and PDA driven task resistance.

Again, please use this episode as a jump-off to do your own research!

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In this episode, we open up about our personal journeys with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and other gastrointestinal / autoimmune issues we've experienced, using hindsight to recognise it may have all been linked to our autism and ADHD (stress!). We start exploring the connection between the brain and the gut, including how our stomach microbiome impacts our brain. We dive into emerging research linking neurodivergence with physical health and common correlations. This episode isn’t medical advice, but more a conversation to spark curiosity. We encourage you to do your own research but we just wanted to remind you that you’re not the only one with a gassy gut!

Find the research article we reference HERE.

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