Content warning: in this episode we lightly touch on abuse, manipulation and sexual assault - between 37 - 40mins - proceed with care.

In this episode we dive into one of the biggest neurodivergent struggles: boundaries. Why do so many AuDHD people become chronic people-pleasers? Why do we say yes when every part of our body is screaming no? Why do we only realise afterwards how we're actually feeling? And why does setting even the smallest boundary feel like we’re letting someone down?

We chat about the link between neurodivergence and people pleasing, how RSD, masking and social survival instincts shape our boundaries (or lack thereof) and we candidly discuss how we're personally going with improving our boundaries.

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This week we’re joined by Bayley Garnham - diagnosed dyspraxic and neuro-affirming Personal Trainer! Bayley shares his diagnosis journey, what dyspraxia can actually look like day-to-day, how dyspraxia affected him growing up and what inspired him into personal training.

We chat about why exercise can vary depending on biological sex, why so many of us need movement but struggle to start, and how PTs can better support neurodivergent clients. Bayley also breaks down how he trains people with compassion, flexibility and zero shame.

If you’ve ever felt intimidated by exercise, disconnected from your body, or you're unsure where to begin, this episode might be for you!

Follow Bayley on Instagram (@bayleygarnham) or get in touch via email bayleygarnham@gmail.com

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In this episode, we unpack the perfectionism cage - the invisible set of rules we build for ourselves as AuDHDers in an attempt to survive, succeed, or simply avoid judgement. We talk about how perfectionism showed up in our childhoods, how it morphs into procrastination and paralysis, and why so many of us cling to impossible standards even when they burn us out.

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It’s not personal, we just literally forgot you existed. This week we dive into the concept of object permanence. We chat about why AuDHDers struggle to remember things, hobbies, goals and people once they’re out of sight, how it impacts friendships and daily life, and what we’ve learned about how to manage it.

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For so many neurodivergent people, friendships can feel confusing, draining, or just out of reach. In this episode we open up about growing up lonely, the ache of wanting connection, and how RSD can destablise you from reality. We touch on a listener submission - should you tell your friends about your diagnosis? We also share how our dogs have helped us with being at peace in our own company and have also helped with our general motivation!

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Paige is back! If you've always secretly found travelling stressful and wondered why it looks so fun for everyone else - we see you. In this episode, we’re unpacking why holidays and travel can feel so overwhelming as a neurodivergent person. Freshly off the plane, Paige reflects on her recent trip and what accomodations she made for herself. We talk about why AuDHDers find travelling stressful and also reflect on some recent listener Reddit posts about perimenopause.

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What about the after part of ADHD diagnosis? Bree Tomasel joins us for a follow up chat about her diagnosis experience and feelings. Bree shares her experience with the weird limbo of diagnosis imposter syndrome, the long road to getting meds right (four years, no joke), and she shares advice and things she's learned that have helped her.

Paige is back next week! Also, if you'd like to vote our podcast for Listener's Choice at the NZ Podcast Awards, you can do that here.

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The hilarious and wildly talented Bree Tomasel - broadcaster, creator, and late-diagnosed ADHDer - joins Ellie for a candid chat. Bree opens up about a lifetime of masking - not just her ADHD, but her anxiety and even her sexuality - and how she shaped her own career, while sometimes feeling 'dumb'. We hear about what she was like as an undiagnosed child and some of the early signs she now sees in hindsight. We talk about imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and how Bree channels her ADHD energy into sport and humour. Plus, Bree will be back next week for another chat where we debrief on life after diagnosis, self-acceptance, and what’s changed since learning she’s neurodivergent.

Follow Bree: Instagram

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