A freebie Patreon episode to give you a taste of the sort of thing we do over there.

Henry tells Mike and Ben the story of Hans The Hedgehog.

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No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September)

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No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we only do four episodes a month because of an EU directive)

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Hailey of Guildford offers up hiking as a topic for the beans this week which is nothing to be ashamed of. Just as the cardinal rule of the hiker is to leave no trace of themselves on the landscape, the lukewarm banter of the beans will pass through your mindscape with the firm promise to leave no memorable impression of any kind.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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Henry Widdicombe's new comic, How To Survive An Affair: https://goshlondon.com/how-to-survive-an-affair-1/

Gareth Gwynn's show Cyril at the Camden Fringe: https://camdenfringe.com/events/gareth-gwynn-cyril/

Queen Vic, Lil’ Drina, Granny Europe, The Windsor Widow, The Saxe-Coburg Slicker, Big Bo Peep. Whatever you call her, Queen Victoria still holds the record for the monarch with the most pubs and Spice Girls named after them. No wonder Pete from Derby wanted a lukewarm lens cast over her - and he knew just the beans for the job.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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Match Of The Day. Big Break. Bullseye. All of the major British sports have been comprehensively covered by television for decades - except archery. Looks like it’s time for the beans to pick up where television couldn’t be arsed. Ta very much to Charis of Los Angeles for this week’s topic (which is archery btw).

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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Dr G has the beans get all lukewarm under the collar about seagulls this week. Voted the animal least likely to be of any use in warfare four years running and Time Magazine’s “Worst Pet Experiment” (2003), the seagull is largely unloved by its human neighbours. Indeed a major survey by Ipsos MORI discovered that 99.23% of seagull based anecdotes cast the seagulls as the villain of the piece (and the remaining 0.77% were believed to be fabricated). Can the beans find an upside to the seagull? Or will its upside simply be covered in the shit from another seagull at higher altitude?

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

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The presumably unreconstructed Nick of Chicago feeds “Old Wives’ Tales” into the Bean Machine which spew-jects it just at the moment the beans are after a topic so that’s what it is. Is there no such thing as an “Old Husbands’ Tale” because husbands have no tales? Or because they typically die younger and therefore before reaching tale-telling maturity? The beans don’t know and make no effort to go into it whatsoever.

With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.

Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

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Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod