What happens when who you are feels unsafe to be known?

In this episode of The Torn Podcast, we share Ian’s story, which is a powerful, long-arc journey of inner conflict shaped by growing up gay in a time when homosexuality was illegal in the UK. Narrated by an actor to protect anonymity, Ian’s story traces decades of tension between inner truth and external danger: family expectations, religious pressure, fear of punishment, and the very real threat of violence.

Susan and Caitlin reflect on Ian’s experiences through the lens of inner conflict, exploring shame, secrecy, identity, and the slow, non-linear process of coming to terms with who you are. They look at how context, relationships, and community can either trap us in conflict or help us move through it, and why some conflicts don’t disappear so much as soften, settle, and become integrated over time.

This is an episode about patience, self-compassion, and the courage it takes to keep unfolding even when safety is never guaranteed. A reminder that being torn is not a failure, and that resolution doesn’t always mean certainty, but peace.

Content note: This episode discusses historical criminalisation of homosexuality, stigma, and the threat of violence.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What really happens inside us when we’re torn? After analysing over 120 real stories of inner conflict, the Torn Project team noticed something unexpected: a shared pattern running through every account. In this episode, they introduce The Torn Journey, a seven-stage map that traces how inner conflict first stirs, how it intensifies, where we get stuck, and how resolution can become possible.

In this episode, Susan and Caitlin walk us through each stage: from unconscious unease and conscious awareness, through information-gathering and experimentation, to the tipping point, the forks in the road, and the final resolution. This is an episode about understanding yourself with more compassion, trusting the process when things feel confusing, and recognising that being torn is not a failure but one way in which we grow.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between choices, unsure what step comes next, or overwhelmed by the emotional weight of decision-making, this episode offers reassurance, a route map, and a powerful framework for navigating the journey.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this dramatisation of a real-life experience, we step inside the mind of a mother facing an unimaginable choice. Told as a first-person monologue and voiced by an actor without any external comment, this episode navigates the private landscape of fear, love, faith, anger, and the weight of responsibility. Through an exploration of the fierce bond between mother and child, we witness the inner journey of making an impossible decision.

This is a deeply emotional story involving serious child illness and bereavement, so you may wish to consider where and when you listen.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, the hosts turn the questions on themselves.

Susan, Caitlin and James interview one another, sharing how The Torn Project began, what brought each of them to this work, and the personal experiences that continue to shape it.

Together, they explore the threads that connect psychology, coaching, technology, and creativity, and reveal what inner conflict means to them, not just as professionals, but as people.

This is an episode about purpose, partnership, and the human stories behind The Torn Project, how three different paths converged on a shared mission to help others navigate the complexities of being human.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when the job you’ve worked your whole life to reach becomes a place of quiet harm? In this episode, an actor tells Emilia's story from the joy of being elected president of her national cycling federation to the slow realisation that she was facing a culture of undermining, surveillance and workplace bullying.

After each chapter, Caitlin and James explore the inner conflict at the heart of Amelia’s experience: duty versus agency, heart versus gut, staying to “do the right thing” versus leaving to protect your wellbeing. They discuss red flags of bullying, why self-doubt and self-gaslighting show up, and how support truly helps — through presence, validation and clarity rather than quick fixes.

Emilia's turning point comes with peace of a different kind: making space for conflicting parts, listening to her body, and choosing to leave on her terms, with honesty about what was happening. It’s a story about owning your narrative, naming harm, and finding alignment between values and action.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all experience moments of inner conflict, from the small, everyday choices to the big, life-defining decisions. In this episode, Susan and Caitlin explore the many shapes that being ‘torn’ can take between duty and desire, past and future, self and others. Drawing on stories from The Torn Project and their own experiences, they uncover what these tensions reveal about who we are, what we value, and how we learn to live with the contradictions that make us human.

Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject

To reach out directly, email us at susan@thetornproject.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Paul spent years pushing down his true desires, until one moment of honesty changed everything. In this episode, an actor shares Paul’s story and after each chapter of that story, Susan, Caitlin and James reflect on what his conflict reveals about choice, longing and courage. This is a story about the tension between 'wanting' and 'getting' and the possibilities and risks which open up when we finally pay attention to what we really want.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all know the feeling of being pulled in two directions at once. In this first episode, Susan, Caitlin and James introduce The Torn Project; why it exists; what 'inner conflict' really means; and how listening to real stories and learning from reliable resources can help us find balance. This process marks the start of an ongoing conversation about those messy human moments when our wants, needs and beliefs collide – moments which are actually an essential part of our development as human beings. If you've ever felt torn, ever supported someone who felt torn, or are curious about the topic of inner conflict, then join us as we explore what that means, together.

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Find more stories, resources and hope on all things inner conflict at our website www.thetornproject.com

Follow us on Instagram @thetornproject.

To reach out directly, use the contact form on our website.

Find out more about The Torn Project team.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.