Ever sit down to focus and suddenly your brain takes off in 12 directions at once? You’re not alone — and it’s not about willpower.

In this follow-up to last week’s episode, we dive into the real reasons ADHD women lose focus from the inside out — and how to retrain your brain to come back to center without fighting yourself.

You’ll learn science-backed ways to quiet internal noise, work with your Default Mode Network, and rebuild your brain’s focus through mindful repetition, movement, and emotional processing.

By the end, you’ll understand how to stop battling your attention and start cultivating focus that feels calmer, steadier, and actually sustainable.

🎧 Listen in for ADHD-friendly strategies you can start practicing today — no shame, no quick fixes that don’t last, just real tools for real brains.

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: The Struggle to Focus

00:16 Recap of Part One: Understanding Internal Distractions

00:37 Today's Focus: Reclaiming Attention

01:23 Welcome and Podcast Overview

02:17 Strategies to Combat Internal Distractions

03:47 Understanding the Default Mode Network

07:58 Mindfulness and Its Benefits

12:09 The Role of Rewards and Motivation

13:58 Managing Emotions and Sensitivity

18:07 Improving Executive Function and Memory

24:57 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Most ADHD women think distraction means pings, notifications, or people interrupting.

But what if the biggest distractions aren’t outside of you at all?

In this episode of The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way Podcast, we're pulling back the curtain on the invisible distractions happening inside your own mind — the kind that steal your time, drain your energy, and erode your confidence without you even realizing it.

This isn’t about blaming yourself. It’s about finally naming what’s going on so you can understand why it feels so relentless — and why it’s not your fault.

✨ Next week: Part 2 of this mini-series — How to Reclaim Focus from ADHD’s Internal Distractions. we'll explore practical strategies, nervous system regulation tools, and lived examples to help you work with your brain instead of against it.

If you’ve ever wondered why your thoughts pull you away when you need to focus most, this is your invitation to listen in. Clarity alone can change everything.

Mentioned in the episode:

FREE 5-Step Task Master Plan -> https://jenbarnes.org/task-master-plan/

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction to Distractions

01:03 Welcome to the Podcast

01:45 Understanding Internal Distractions

03:36 The Rich Inner World of ADHD

06:59 Five Reasons for Internal Distractions

08:36 Default Mode Network Explained

11:15 Dopamine and ADHD

13:26 Big Feelings and Distractions

16:49 Executive Functioning and Working Memory

20:20 Conclusion and Next Steps

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

I thought I was done with people pleasing. I’d built boundaries, learned to say no, and told myself I was free from it. But when I moved back to Minnesota—and started building my second business—it snuck back in.

I found myself undercharging, over-delivering, and slipping back into perfectionism. The result? Burnout, loneliness, and even physical symptoms like poor sleep, digestive issues, and constant tension in my body.

In this episode of The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way, I share:

• How people pleasing shows up in subtle ways for ADHD women
• Why perfectionism is often tied to proving our worth
• The physical and emotional cost of staying stuck in these patterns
• How I’m working my way out of it—and how you can too

If you’ve ever felt like you should be “over” people pleasing, only to find yourself back in the same patterns, this episode will help you recognize you’re not alone—and there’s a way forward.

🎧 Be sure to listen!

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: The Return of People Pleasing

01:16 Welcome to the Podcast

01:53 Personal Struggles and Realizations

03:54 Entrepreneurial Challenges and People Pleasing

07:20 The Impact of Moving Back to Minnesota

10:23 Burnout and Physical Symptoms

15:09 Recognizing and Addressing People Pleasing

23:50 Setting Boundaries and Overcoming Perfectionism

39:59 Conclusion and Journal Book Experience

✨ Mentioned in this episode…

Ready to Finally Stop Playing Small? Check out my Journal-Book Experience is Here!

💡The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD is a tangible journal book plus sensory items for a self-love ritual that all comes in a keep sake box. This guided experience helps you release what’s been holding you back, regulate your nervous system, and finally move forward — in a way that honors your brain, your energy, and your life.

Order your copy here: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Ever feel surrounded by people yet rarely truly seen?

If friendships feel complicated, imbalanced, or oddly exhausting, in this episode we’ll unpack why ADHD can make connection harder—especially for high-achieving women who’ve masked for years and can’t figure out why friends drift or dynamics feel one-sided.

By the end, you’ll walk away with… • Language to name what’s been happening in your friendships • A clearer understanding of why it isn’t “just you” • Practical starting points to cultivate authentic, reciprocal connection—without over-giving or masking

Mentioned in the episode: Ready to do the deeper inner work that makes healthy friendships possible? Explore The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small—a beautiful journal-book experience with practices, prompts, and gentle nervous-system sensory tools to help you reconnect with your authentic self. Check it out here at: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: The Struggles of ADHD Women in Friendships

00:39 Host Introduction and Podcast Overview

01:16 Personal Experiences with ADHD and Friendships

03:00 Challenges Faced by ADHD Women in Friendships

06:55 The Impact of ADHD on Social Interactions

19:43 Maintaining Friendships with ADHD

30:16 Strategies for Building Authentic Friendships

37:49 Conclusion and Additional Resources

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Ever fantasized about quitting everything and disappearing for a month?

That urge to escape might be more than burnout.

In this episode, we’ll unpack the hidden overlap between ADHD, anxiety, and depression—especially in high-achieving women who have spent their lives masking, people-pleasing, and pushing through.

I’ll share my own story of “smiling depression” as a successful actuary, when everything looked fine on the outside but felt overwhelming inside.

You’ll hear about the subtle ways depression and anxiety can show up when ADHD goes unrecognized—like emotional numbness, chronic tiredness, inner self-criticism, and rage reactions to small things.

If you've ever wondered why you're so exhausted all the time or felt like you're barely holding it together even though you're “doing well,” this episode will help you name what’s going on and explore next steps with more self-compassion and clarity.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why ADHD in women often hides behind achievement
• How anxiety and depression may be secondary symptoms of ADHD
• What “smiling depression” looks like in high-functioning professionals
• How to spot the difference between normal exhaustion and something deeper
• Where to start if you think ADHD might be part of your story

✨ Resources Mentioned:

• How to ADHD by Jessica McCabe
• Women with Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden
• The Upward Spiral by Alex Korb
• Extra Focus by Jesse J. Anderson
• How to Get Sh*t Done When You Don’t Feel Like It by Dani Donovan
• The Self-Loved Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD Journal-Book Experience: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/
• FREE 5-Step Task Master Plan: https://jenbarnes.org/task-master-plan/

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: The Urge to Escape

01:25 Jen's Personal Journey with Anxiety and Depression

01:52 High Achievers and Masking

02:53 The Hidden Struggles of High Achievers

05:31 Recognizing the Signs of Anxiety and Depression

10:35 The Overlap of ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression

17:09 Seeking Help and Diagnosis

22:27 Tools and Strategies for Managing ADHD

28:13 Finding Support and Community

35:24 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Why High-Achieving Women Think They Can’t Be ADHD

So many ADHD women don’t even consider the possibility that they have ADHD—especially if they’ve been successful on the outside.

If you’ve ever thought: “But I did well in school… I’m productive at work… I can hyper-focus when I need to… there’s no way I could be ADHD,” you’re not alone.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the 10 hidden reasons high-achieving women doubt, dismiss, or completely miss their ADHD diagnosis. From the masking trifecta to external structures that hid the struggle, to hyper-focus that looked like “proof” you couldn’t have ADHD—you’ll see why success doesn’t cancel out the challenges.

By the end, you may finally understand why ADHD has been a silent part of your story all along. And more importantly—you’ll walk away knowing you’re not just “a mess” or “all over the place.” Your struggles have a real explanation, and you don’t have to keep doubting yourself.

🌟 Mentioned in this episode: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way Journal-Book Experience

https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: High Achieving Women and ADHD

00:47 Welcome to the Podcast

01:30 Jen's Personal Story and Client Experiences

02:30 10 Ways High Achieving Women Miss ADHD Diagnosis

02:56 Breaking Down ADHD Stereotypes

05:55 The Masking Trifecta

08:14 External Structures and High IQ

14:06 Hyper-focus and Character Misinterpretations

19:03 Hormonal Shifts and Success Despite ADHD

22:50 Conclusion and Call to Action

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Urgent vs. Important with ADHD: Why Distractions Feel Impossible to Resist

Have you ever sat down to do one simple thing — like send an email — and forty minutes later you’ve chased a dozen distractions, fixed something that wasn’t urgent, and now you feel scattered and frustrated?

That’s the ADHD distraction cycle. In this episode, I’m unpacking why ADHD brains treat everything like it’s urgent, how dopamine and working memory drive us toward rabbit holes, and the emotional side of people-pleasing and perfectionism that make it worse.

You’ll learn simple, ADHD-friendly ways to capture distractions, regulate your nervous system, and bring yourself back to what matters — without shame.

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: The ADHD Distraction Cycle

00:44 Welcome to the Podcast

02:03 Jen's Personal Story of Distraction

03:17 Understanding the Urgency of Distractions

04:24 Brain Wiring and Distraction

06:50 Strategies to Combat Distractions

10:37 Self-Compassion and Final Thoughts

13:16 Conclusion and Call to Action

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

ADHD Burnout: When My Body Forced Me to Stop

This week, my ADHD body said “no more.”

I woke up with neck pain, brain fog, and zero energy—and I realized I had hit the wall of burnout. For years, I’ve pushed, achieved, and over-functioned, but this time my body forced me to stop.

In this episode, I take you behind the scenes of what that day looked like, the wake-up call it gave me, and the surprising lessons I’m learning about slowing down, rest, and realignment. ADHD burnout isn’t just exhaustion—it’s your body sending you a message. And if you ignore it, it only gets louder.

We’ll talk about:

• The moment my body forced me to stop and why it mattered
• How over-functioning and perfectionism set ADHD women up for burnout
• The difference between stress, overwhelm, and true burnout
• Why rest is not optional, but necessary regulation
• How reconnecting with my Divine Feminine energy is changing how I approach my business and my life

If you’ve ever felt guilty for needing rest or wondered why your energy vanishes when you need it most, this episode is for you. Burnout isn’t failure—it’s the first step toward a more aligned and sustainable way of living.

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: A Day of Complete Shutdown

02:17 The Moment My Body Forced Me to Stop

04:29 The Journey of Building My Business

08:04 The Crash and Realization

10:00 Steps to Recovery and Self-Care

12:30 Understanding Burnout and Overwhelm

15:43 Embracing Rest and Reflection

21:31 Final Thoughts and Moving Forward

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.