Have you ever had a moment where you think, “I’m doing all the things… so why isn’t anything actually changing?”

This week, I’m dropping a short post-holiday-week tidbit about the one shift I’ve seen move the needle more than any tool, strategy, planner, or productivity hack ever could.

And no, it’s not what you think.

After 25+ years in the mental health field, working with hundreds of ADHD women, I’ve watched this one thing quietly transform motivation, follow-through, emotional regulation, and the way women show up in their daily lives. But it’s the very thing most ADHD women never even consider—because we’ve been conditioned to focus on “fixing,” masking, and trying harder instead.

This mini-episode invites you into something deeper, gentler, and honestly… more effective. If you’ve felt overwhelmed, ashamed, “scattered,” or like you’re constantly fighting your own brain, this one is for you.

✨ Tune in and see what opens up.

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction and Purpose

00:28 The One Thing That Makes a Difference

01:01 Understanding ADHD and Self-Acceptance

02:35 The Power of Compassion

03:21 Embracing Your Reality

04:28 Moving Towards Self-Love

06:43 Final Thoughts and Resources

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Have you ever had one of those days where you’re doing everything you’re “supposed” to do to get motivated… and you still end up frozen, spiraling, or pushing yourself so hard you’re exhausted before you even begin?

If you’re an ADHD woman, that isn’t a character flaw. It’s conditioning. It’s survival mode.

And honestly? It’s one of the biggest reasons so many of us stay stuck in overwhelm and burnout.

In this episode, we’ll unpack why traditional motivation strategies — willpower, urgency, shame, fear, or trying to be “consistent” — backfire for ADHD brains. These approaches don’t support our wiring; they fight against it.

Then I walk you through four ADHD-friendly ways to actually get motivated without relying on panic, pressure, or self-judgment. You’ll learn how to work with your natural tendencies, match tasks to your energy, make things interesting, and regulate your nervous system so you can start from a place of safety instead of stress.

By the end, you’ll understand the real science behind ADHD motivation and have simple, doable tools to support yourself with more compassion and far fewer consequences.

Mentioned in the episode:

📺 Are You Living… or Just Functioning? ADHD’s Quiet Disconnection

https://youtu.be/nZGb-Hl-Xac

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: The Struggle with Motivation

00:29 Why Traditional Motivation Fails for ADHD

01:37 Welcome to the Podcast

02:18 Personal Anecdotes and Realizations

05:16 Common ADHD Motivation Pitfalls

22:54 Effective ADHD-Friendly Motivation Strategies

29:53 Conclusion and Resources

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Have you ever walked into a meeting and instantly started monitoring yourself—your volume, your facial expressions, your ideas—so you wouldn’t come across as “too much”? Too intense, too direct, too emotional, too silly, too curious?

In this episode of The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way, we’re unpacking the fear of being “too much” at work and how it quietly shapes the careers and nervous systems of ADHD women.

I share stories about being labeled too loud, too playful, and too direct, how I moved from feeling “not enough” to over-functioning so no one would see my struggles, and the moment I realized “not enough” and “too much” actually come from the same place.

We’ll explore how childhood conditioning, masking, workplace expectations, and rejection sensitivity all intertwine—and why playing small has real emotional, physical, and career costs.

You’ll also learn practical ways to start reclaiming your authentic self at work in small, nervous-system-friendly steps.

In this episode, we’ll explore: • How ADHD women internalize messages about being “too much” • The paradox of feeling both “not enough” and “too much” • Over-functioning, masking, and the hidden cost of playing small • Why visibility feels so threatening in professional spaces • Nervous system tools to anchor yourself when you feel exposed • Small, doable ways to practice being more of who you really are at work

If you’re ready to go deeper into this work, my journal-book experience, The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD, will help you explore the parts of you that feel too much or not enough—and begin to build a more self-loving, grounded relationship with yourself.

Learn more here: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: The Fear of Being Too Much

00:50 Personal Experiences and Struggles

01:36 Understanding the Fear of Being Too Much

02:53 Podcast Introduction and Overview

03:35 Exploring the Fear of Being Too Much

04:17 Childhood Conditioning and Nervous System Responses

06:08 Workplace Challenges and Personal Stories

12:35 Internalized Labels and Misinterpretations

13:53 The Paradox of Being Too Much or Not Enough

17:28 Consequences of Playing Small

23:53 Navigating the Workplace with ADHD

27:29 Strategies for Authentic Self-Expression

37:05 Conclusion and Resources

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.