Episode #1103

One of the most common traps married men fall into is treating their wife like the person they married ten years ago, rather than the person she has become today . It is human nature to stop being curious and start making assumptions, but these assumptions are often what build the "emotional walls" that leave a marriage feeling mundane or distant . In this revisit episode, Doug Holt is joined by Chris, a lead advisor at TPM, to answer listener questions about breaking through emotional distance and navigating complex attachment styles .

They dive deep into the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario: how to give a partner space when they simultaneously struggle with a fear of abandonment . Doug explains why men must move from a cautious energy to a leading energy, using proactive reassurance to "call out" the situation before it becomes a crisis . You will learn why over-communicating your commitment—stating your "mission" multiple times until it is truly heard—is the only way to fight a partner's misperceptions and rebuild safety .

The conversation also provides practical tools for the man trying to restart conversations with an emotionally closed-off spouse . From using project management software to stay curious about your wife's interests to leveraging external "icebreaker" cards to create a safe environment for dialogue, Doug shares the exact strategies he uses in his own marriage . This episode is a masterclass in shifting from a state of "checking in" to a state of genuine connectivity .

Whether you are looking for non-mundane conversation starters or need to understand how to lead through your partner's fears, this discussion offers a roadmap to move beyond an "average" relationship . By coming at life and your spouse from a place of curiosity, you allow the connection to unfold beautifully once again .

CTA paragraph: If you are ready to stop guessing and start leading your family with clarity, take the next step by accessing our free training. This is designed for the man who is tired of the distance and ready to see exactly where his relationship stands. Visit https://fixmarriage.thepowerfulman.com/scales to get started.

Episode #1102

Many men believe that providing a house, a bank account, and a stable lifestyle is enough to keep their marriage thriving. They pour their energy into work or physical fitness, thinking that if they just achieve more, their wives will finally feel secure and satisfied. But as Paul shares in this episode, you can't intellectualize your way out of a disconnected relationship. Often, the harder a man tries to "fix" things through external achievements, the further he drifts from the man his wife actually fell in love with.

Paul opens up about the moment his world shattered and he realized he had been "half-assing" his life by doing just enough to be average. Like many high-performers, he used control and certainty as a shield, resisting the very emotional openness required to save his marriage. Alongside Lawrence, he discusses the transformational process of letting go of the need for constant control and the realization that mindset alone is ineffective if it isn't fueled by a grounded heart.

The conversation dives deep into the "knowledge gap" that keeps men stuck in loops of defensiveness and shame. You will hear why marriage counseling often fails when a man hasn't first done the work on himself, and why respect often carries more physiological weight for a man than affection. This episode is a look at what happens when you stop being a "fixer" and start taking radical responsibility for the man you are showing up as every day.

We explore the importance of routine, the danger of the "lone wolf" mentality, and how to start listening to what your wife is actually saying rather than what you think she is saying. If you feel like you are walking on eggshells in your own home or that you have lost your sense of identity in the pursuit of success, this discussion provides a roadmap for coming back to center.

If you are ready to stop guessing and start leading your family with clarity, take the next step by accessing our free training. This is designed for the man who is tired of the distance and ready to see exactly where his relationship stands.

Visit https://fixmarriage.thepowerfulman.com/scales to get started.

Episode #1101

Most men are conditioned to believe that any "dark" part of their personality is inherently toxic and must be suppressed to remain a "nice guy". However, this suppression often leads to a "gray man" existence where a man's natural boisterousness and drive are quashed, making him feel incomplete and unintegrated. In this episode, Tim Matthews, Lawrence, and Stephen discuss why "darkness" is not the same as evil, but rather represents mystery, depth, and a source of life force that most men have exiled.

The conversation highlights that when a man denies these parts of himself, his energy inevitably leaks out in unhealthy ways such as manipulation, addiction, aggression, or emotional shutdown. This occurs because it takes immense energy to pretend a side of yourself doesn't exist, which ultimately robs you of your ability to be fully present in your marriage and your life. By contrast, the integrated dark masculine is grounded in love and clarity rather than ego or fear.

A man who has integrated his "full stack" is able to set unbreakable boundaries, protect what he loves, and lead with a steady, sovereign presence. This transition involves moving through the five virtues of presence, peace, power, passion, and purpose to replace the "agonies" of greed, anger, and shame . Ultimately, the goal is to stop dimming your light and start living authentically, ensuring you don't end up with the common regret of wishing you had the courage to live a life true to yourself.

If you are ready to stop guessing what is broken in your relationship and want a step-by-step methodology to get back the love and respect you used to have, head over to the link below to access our free training:

https://fixmarriage.thepowerfulman.com/scales

Episode #1100

In this revisit of a fan-favorite episode, Doug Holt is joined by his wife, Erin, to discuss the small, intentional shifts they use to raise resilient and self-aware children. Parenting often feels like a series of reactive moments, but the goal of conscious parenting is to proactively pass down the tools for self-love, emotional intelligence, and growth . Doug and Erin share the specific rituals they use with their own children to ensure they grow up with a solid foundation of self-worth and the ability to navigate life's inevitable challenges .

Building self-love starts with simple habits, such as encouraging kids to look in the mirror and tell themselves they love themselves, making it a normal part of their day . Doug also uses a constant verbal check by telling his kids he loves them until they are almost annoyed, ensuring they never have to question his affection . At the dinner table, they move past the standard "how was your day" by asking about "magic moments" or pre-framing the school day as being either "good or great" to keep their children's minds focused on the positives .

Modeling behavior is ultimately more impactful than words alone. Whether it is letting your children see you journal, meditate, or exercise, they pick up on the healthy habits that serve you . Most importantly, Doug and Erin discuss the power of "repairing" the relationship when you lose your cool; by apologizing for raising your voice, you teach kids that while emotions are natural, taking responsibility for your actions is a requirement for healthy relationships .

If you want to stop guessing what is missing in your relationship and learn a step-by-step methodology to regain the love and respect you once had, click the link below to get our free training:

https://fixmarriage.thepowerfulman.com/scales

Episode #1099

What do you do when your wife tells you she's been faking it for 30 years?

Is it a test? Is she trying to get a reaction? Or is this the beginning of the end?

In this episode, we unpack a real story from one of our men whose wife told him she was never truly attracted to him and only stayed for the kids. Most guys would get defensive. They'd argue the facts. They'd collapse into shame. Or they'd chase.

He didn't.

He stayed grounded. He stayed curious. He didn't make it about himself. And that response alone changed the dynamic.

We talk about what a safety test actually is and why so many men fail it. We break down how to hear the emotion underneath the words instead of reacting to the content. And we get honest about the other possibility too, that maybe it's not a test at all. Maybe it's complete.

If that's the case, how do you move forward without falling apart? How do you make sure your worth isn't tied to the relationship? How do you handle it in a way you can look back on without regret?

This is a real conversation about staying steady when everything feels uncertain. About not chasing. Not collapsing. Not reacting. But standing firm in who you are, whether the marriage rebuilds or ends.

If your relationship feels shaky right now, this episode will challenge you in the right way.

If you're not sure where your marriage stands and you want clarity on what to do next, we've put together a free training that walks you through the exact framework we use to help men turn things around.

Get access to the free training here:
https://fixmarriage.thepowerfulman.com/scales

Episode #1098

A lot of men struggle to own their wins.

Instead of standing tall, they make a joke. They downplay it. They get the dig in before anyone else can. It sounds like humor. But underneath it is often low self-worth, fear of looking arrogant, or a need to stay in control.

In this episode, we unpack why so many men use self-deprecation as armor. We talk about where it starts, how it gets wired in from family, school, or early work environments, and how it follows you into your business and your marriage.

If you've ever brushed off praise or felt uncomfortable saying "yeah, I did that and I'm proud of it," this conversation will land. We get into how dimming your light doesn't just affect you. It impacts your wife. It impacts your leadership. There's a big difference between vulnerability and tearing yourself down.

This episode is direct and practical. You'll walk away with simple ways to slow down your reactions, catch the pattern before it comes out of your mouth, and start building real internal confidence.

If your relationship feels off and you're not sure where things started slipping, the first step is getting clear on what's actually broken.

Get the free training here:
https://fixmarriage.thepowerfulman.com/scales

It will show you exactly why your relationship feels the way it does and give you a clear path to start turning it around.

Episode #1097

How do you encourage your partner to grow… without making them feel like they're not enough? That's the question we're digging into in this episode

A lot of men make this mistake. They start doing personal development. They feel better. They see the benefits. Then they turn to their wife and say, "You should do this too." What she hears is, "Something's wrong with you." And that's where the resistance starts.

We talk about why pushing growth almost always backfires, and what actually works instead. It starts with being the example. Not in a holier-than-thou way. Not in a "I've figured it out" way. But in a grounded, consistent way where you just live it. When you're doing the work, sharing what you're learning, and applying it in your own life, it becomes contagious.

We also get into the idea of judgment and the gap. The gap between where you are and where you think you or your partner should be. When you focus on that gap, it creates tension. When you own your own growth and detach from how it should look for them, things shift.

This conversation is honest. I share examples from my own marriage, including times I tried to hand my wife the "right" book and it went nowhere. Not because she didn't care, but because it wasn't hers. Growth has to be chosen. You can't force it.

If you want your partner to rise, rise first. Lead your home by who you are, not by what you tell her to fix.

If you're ready to stop talking about growth and actually live it, get the free training on how to shift the scales in your marriage. It's direct, practical, and will show you what to focus on first. Go here and get the free training: https://fixmarriage.thepowerfulman.com/scales

Episode #1096

This is a theme we come back to a lot because it matters. When a marriage is struggling or falling apart, most men don't know what their role is anymore. They feel stuck between fighting for it, protecting their kids, and just trying to survive the day. In this episode, we break down what leadership actually looks like in the middle of a broken marriage.

There's a real chance your marriage may not work out. That's just the reality. But how you show up during this season will shape your kids for the rest of their lives. They are watching how you handle pressure, rejection, conflict, and pain. You can either let this season make you smaller, or you can use it as the moment you decided to grow up and lead.

We also talk about why so many men lose their wife's respect. It's not usually one big mistake. It's the slow drift. It's saying you want one kind of relationship but living in a way that doesn't support it. It's being one version of yourself at home and a different version out in the world. Respect is built when a man can lead himself first.

This episode is direct. It's practical. And it's a reminder that even if your marriage feels broken, you are not powerless. You still get to lead.

If you're serious about turning things around, get the free training that walks you through how to shift the scales in your marriage. It's straightforward and actionable. Go here and watch it now: https://fixmarriage.thepowerfulman.com/scales