If you've ever done the healing work and wondered why you don't feel amazing yet, this episode will help you understand what progress can really feel like.

On this episode we're concluding our EMDR series with worthiness and why your brain notices the bad before the good.

We talk about where your sense of worth came from and who decided what counts, why healing often shows up as feeling even keel and a little lighter instead of overjoyed, and why we love celebrating the wins that seem small.

Then we get into the core beliefs we often see underneath OCD, depression, and anxiety, from "I can't trust myself" and "I'm trapped" to "I'm not good enough," and how asking "why does that matter?" can help you find the belief driving it all.

We also talk about letting go of the should-haves, why your brain locks onto one tiger in a room full of kittens, and how practice can help you start noticing more of the good.

New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Submit a Question for the Pod here: https://beacons.ai/shadyuntamedpodcast

We're both licensed therapists, but this podcast is not therapy and we are not your therapists. It's education with a little humor mixed in, not clinical advice.

If you're in crisis, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or text HOME to 741741 You can also reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!) https://uppbeat.io/t/moire/summer License code: MGPLFEEUIXGKQRU2

A trauma bond doesn't always look like a problem from the inside because it feels like chemistry, loyalty, and hope that things will go back to how they were.

On this episode we're pulling that apart.

We talk about the difference between bonding over trauma and what trauma bonding actually is, why a lot of what the internet calls a trauma bond is really codependency, and why there are two kinds of trauma bonds, one you can think your way out of with the proper support and one rooted in childhood that usually needs deeper reprocessing.

Then we get into the slot machine effect and how variable ratio reinforcement keeps you hooked, the breadcrumbs and "it'll be better once we get there" promises that keep you waiting, and why your brain would rather blame you than admit you were powerless.

We also get real about why toxic can feel like chemistry while healthy can feel boring AF at first, how boundaries built on your worth hold long after the anger fades, and why leaving the relationship is often the most dangerous time.

New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Submit a Question for the Pod here: https://beacons.ai/shadyuntamedpodcast

It's Not You Book Resource link: https://a.co/d/0dj50PzP

We're both licensed therapists, but this podcast is not therapy and we are not your therapists. It's education with a little humor mixed in, not clinical advice.

If you're in crisis, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or text HOME to 741741. If you're in an abusive relationship, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 or by texting START to 88788.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!) https://uppbeat.io/t/moire/summer License code: MGPLFEEUIXGKQRU2

If you’ve ever felt unsafe, alone or not okay without a single memory to explain why, this episode will help you understand where that feeling might come from.

On this episode we’re continuing our EMDR series with the memories you can’t recall, the ones your body holds onto, and how shame can quietly run the show.

We talk about the difference between explicit memories you can describe and implicit memories that live in your body, why so much of what we learn about safety and connection gets stored before we have words, and how experiences during pregnancy can shape a baby’s nervous system.

Then we get into object permanence, cry-it-out parenting and the still-face experiment, and how those early experiences can lay the groundwork for core beliefs like “I’m alone,” “I can’t survive” and “something is wrong with me.”

We also take on one of your questions about forgetting everything the moment you sit down in therapy, why shame works so hard to keep you from being vulnerable, where people tend to feel shame in their body, and why working through shame calls for feeling your way through it with a trauma-informed therapist.

New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Submit a Question for the Pod here: https://beacons.ai/shadyuntamedpodcast

We’re both licensed therapists, but this podcast is not therapy and we are not your therapists. It’s education with a little humor mixed in, not clinical advice.

If you’re in crisis, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or text HOME to 741741

You can also reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!) https://uppbeat.io/t/moire/summer License code: MGPLFEEUIXGKQRU2