Dr. Stephanie Covington and Dr. Vanessa Carlisle continue their conversation with Dr. Rob about awakening sexuality to create a healthy sexual identity, especially after betrayal or trauma. Their new book Awaken Your Sexuality: Seeking Connection and Intimacy After Addiction and Trauma offers a personalized process to learning about your own sexuality, regardless of experiences you have had in the past.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:22] Vanessa’s perspective on sex workers.

[6:29] If you love me, you wouldn’t do this.

[10:13] Betrayed partners get to choose what they are going to do next.

[13:40] Compartmentalizing addictive and betrayal behavior.

[15:52] Creating a healthy sexual partnership.

[19:36] The danger of comparing your sex life to porn.

[22:42] Learning about intimacy from the queer community.

[25:29] The shame of non-sexual but intimate couples.

[27:31] Slow moving steps in healing from betrayal.

[31:45] Faith-based sexuality.

[35:36] Awakening your sexuality through a personalized process.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Dr. Stephanie Covington

Dr. Vanessa Carlisle

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “It is a fallacy to believe that the people who love us will never hurt us.”
• “Betrayed partners get to choose what they’re going to do about the situation they're in.”
• “Do you want to be in a relationship with someone that you don’t respect?”
• “You can’t use porn as your sex teacher. You’ve got to use your own body.”

Dr. Stephanie Covington and Dr. Vanessa Carlisle join Dr. Rob to discuss their new book Awaken Your Sexuality: Seeking Connection and Intimacy After Addiction and Trauma. They discuss the facts and myths of true intimacy, appropriate healing timelines after betrayal, and the danger of believing that sex is the only worthy expression of intimacy in a healthy and committed relationship.

TAKEAWAYS:

[3:42] Seeking connection and intimacy after addiction and trauma.

[6:29] A timeline for dealing with trauma during recovery.

[9:46] The role of facing trauma in healing.

[11:15] Addressing the why of addictive behavior.

[14:22] The challenge of culture on healthy sexuality.

[17:33] Safety as an aphrodisiac.

[20:20] Moving from betrayal to intimacy.

[22:40] Myths surrounding sex and intimacy.

[25:37] Small steps that lead to true intimacy.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Dr. Stephanie Covington

Dr. Vanessa Carlisle

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “Recovery is a slow, slow process.”
• “Asking why is a way to stay stuck.”
• “The depth of our need for sexual connection is not the problem.”
• “Safety is an aphrodisiac.”
• “Intimacy takes time.”

Chelsey Cole and Dr. Rob continue their conversation about narcissistic behavior. Chelsey outlines the impact that growing up with a narcissist can have on future relationships, the shame-rage cycle of a top-tier narcissist, and the signs that you are (most likely) not a narcissist, even if you occasionally act like one.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:22] The shame-rage cycle of a narcissist.

[4:00] The top of the narcissistic scale.

[6:17] Sociopathy, psychopathy, and narcissists and where they overlap.

[7:55] The role of addiction in narcissism.

[10:18] Chelsey’s personal experience with narcissism.

[14:21] The impact of growing up with a narcissist.

[16:11] Am I a narcissist too?

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Chelsey Cole

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “Narcissists do not deal with shame. They have the shame-rage cycle.”
• “To a narcissist, your pain is proof of their power.”
• “Anyone who is active in their addiction is going to look narcissistic.”
• “Narcissism presents in patterns of behavior over time.”