Dr. Rob and authors Lindsey Stanley and Dr. Stevie Hall continue their conversation about therapeutic separation, focusing on the impact that separation can have on children at different ages and stages. They explore ways to prove safety and stability for children throughout the process, navigating family events during separation, and why couples therapy may not be appropriate during a period of separation. This conversation provides exceptional insights into a critical step of healing after betrayal that can result in a stronger partnership.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:22] External factors that contribute to the pressure of separation or divorce.

[3:16] Explaining separation to children in healthy and age-appropriate ways.

[7:00] Taking appropriate ownership in the face of external influences and challenges.

[10:09] Providing safety and stability for children despite anger and pain.

[11:22] Navigating family events throughout therapeutic separation.

[13:45] Building trust during the therapeutic separation process.

[16:56] The challenges of therapeutic separation when affairs are involved.

[19:02] Couples therapy may not be appropriate during a period of separation.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Lindsey Stanley

Dr. Stevie Hall

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “Share with children what is in their best health and wellness to know.”
• “You can acknowledge the pain and hurt to your kids, but you don’t necessarily have to share all the things with them.”
• “There needs to be an agreed upon script when disclosing to children.”
• “Privacy and honesty are different things.”

Dr. Rob and authors Lindsey Stanley and Dr. Stevie Hall define and discuss therapeutic separation, an intentional process crafted to help bring about safety, stability, and individual and relational insight. They consider the different types of therapeutic separation, the benefits of each approach, and how separation can be the greatest gift that a betraying partner can offer their spouse.

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:20] Defining therapeutic separation as a structured and temporary step in recovery.

[3:55] Is active separation headed toward divorce?

[5:25] Different types of separation offer different benefits.

[7:35] Maintaining boundaries while living in roommate mode.

[9:20] Legal separation versus legal divorce.

[11:50] Permanent separation indicates maintaining a marriage that you don’t intend to reconcile.

[13:35] External and internal factors that motivate people to separate or not.

[15:34] Negotiating differing partner desires between reconciliation and divorce.

[17:36] Factors that contribute to a successful therapeutic separation.

[21:20] Sometimes by giving that space, you are helping your relationship heal.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Lindsey Stanley

Dr. Stevie Hall

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “Separation can allow you to disengage emotionally while you seek clarity and healing.”
• “Permanent separation indicates that you are not pursuing reconciliation, but you are also not pursuing divorce.”
• “At times there needs to be an intentional pause on the relationship because the cycle the couple is in is creating so much destruction.”
• “Sometimes by giving that space, you are helping, and you are supporting.”

Dr. Rob and Marriage and Family Therapist and CSAT Arlene Rosen continue their discussion about discernment counseling. They consider how to determine what each person needs throughout the collaborative divorce process, how to protect children and pets throughout the journey, and realistic timelines when addiction is a factor in a relationship. Arlene shares advice, resources, and a message of hope and healing in the collaborative divorce process.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:22] Determining what each person needs throughout the collaborative divorce.

[5:42] Child welfare versus child safety in court order agreements.

[8:10] Timeline possibilities when addiction is at play.

[11:20] Handling chronic lying in a legal setting.

[15:55] A message of hope in the collaborative divorce process.

[18:09] Is there a simple way to know that I should get divorced?

[23:00] Guidelines for an effective separation period.

[29:35] Determining the right next step based on your current stage of life.

[32:32] Navigating divorce in a non-legal partnership.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Arlene Rosen

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “You can make agreements about what will be talked about your addiction in your divorce.”
• “Why do more damage when you’ve decided not to live together anymore?”
• “The collaborative divorce process is simply more respectful.”
• “The collaborative divorce process has the most opportunity for people to get back together.”