Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty consider the role of a therapist as a witness – one that supports with empathy and compassion. They share the questions to ask a therapist before the first session, and how to identify the right trauma therapist that will lead you to recovery and healing. Healing is meant to happen in communities, and together Dr. Rob and O’Flaherty inspire and encourage listeners to connect with those that can be a witness to healing.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:25] The place for empathy and compassion.

[3:25] Finding the right trauma therapist.

[5:10] Questions to ask therapists before the first session.

[8:25] A good therapist is the first medicine in healing.

[11:53] Dr. O’Flaherty’s book Flight with Weighted Wings.

[15:45] Healing happens in community.

[19:29] Connecting with Dr. O’Flaherty.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Johanna O’Flaherty

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “If you have wounded me, it may not be my job initially to have empathy for you.”
• “How do you feel when you sit with a therapist?”
• “The best therapy is not about the work, it’s about the relationship.”
• “Healing happens in community.”

Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty explore witnesses – the people who have seen your experiences and are ready to help you move forward. When you begin questioning whether your experience was real, why you acted out the way you did, or what really happened, a witness can offer direction and healing as you move forward, without the demonization and destigmatization that often faces addicts. Johanna is passionate about helping individuals heal from incident trauma, ancestral trauma, prolonged trauma and more, and she cautions listeners against marginalizing the damaging effects of true trauma in favor of everyday difficult life experiences.

TAKEAWAYS:

[3:27] What does recovery mean?

[6:15] Who do you want to take with, and who do you want to leave behind?

[7:55] A witness will help shape your experience.

[10:10] Pain and shame makes more sense with a witness’s perspective.

[12:40] Where are the hospices for the addicted?

[13:50] Overcoming prejudice against addicts in the recovering community.

[20:58] Sex addiction and porn addiction garner very little support.

[25:54] Education on healthy sexuality in recovery.

[32:15] Reembracing sexuality in recovery.

[34:47] Revealing trauma, then moving forward.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Johanna O’Flaherty

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “A witness helps shape who we become and how we walk through life.”
• “Where are the hospices for the addicted?”
• “In the journey of healing, we need to give people hope.”
• “What we long for in a relationship is intimacy, and then sexuality.”

Adam Nisenson and Dr. Rob continue their conversation about betrayed men. They share the worst advice a betrayed man can hear, how to determine if reconciliation is the right next step, and the reality that being cheated on does not justify cheating. Adam shares resources, including The ManKind Project, that have helped him through his own healing and how to engage men who have no interest in therapy.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:44] Reconciling is possible, but not always preferred.

[3:40] Therapy for the men who have no interest in therapy.

[7:20] 12-Step programs for betrayed men.

[9:55] She cheated, should I have sex with someone else?

[11:45] The worst advice a betrayed man can hear.

[14:51] Determining if reconciliation is the right next step.

[17:36] My needs aren’t being met. Does that justify cheating?

[19:39] The ManKind Project.

[24:02] Does age affect a man’s ability to heal from betrayal?

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Adam Nisenson

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “She might have done this to you, but it’s also happening to you. What do you want to do about it?”
• “If you need help, ask for help!”
• “Even if your partner cheated on you, that doesn’t give you permission to cheat.”