One of the perks of my job is having the opportunity to try out a multitude of sex toys, many of which made it into my booklet and the people behind their creation.

Suki Dunham is the co-founder of OhMiBod, one of my sponsors, and is a pioneer in a predominantly male industry. During our conversation, we talk about her early days as a sex tech entrepreneur, the challenges of marketing sexual health products and the future of sex toys, especially around the integration of AI.

I’m a great believer that sex toys are there to enhance sexual pleasure and aren’t in competition with penises and vaginas but rather a way to increase stimulation, especially at an age when both women and men may find it difficult to orgasm.

All the OhMiBod products are incredibly well made and safe, and there are even toys such as the LoveLife Rev that Suki has designed especially for people with arthritis who may find more traditional toys challenging to grip.

Suki is offering Sex Advice for Seniors followers: USE CODE SAFS20 for 20% off of Lovelifetoys.com.

If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)

Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.

Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex

Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.

What others are saying:

"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."

“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”

“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.”

Indigo Stray Conger has been a therapist since 2008 and has completed over a decade of therapeutic training. She is one of less than ten AASECT certified sex therapists at a supervisory level in the state of Colorado.

During our conversation, we delve into what somatic psychotherapy entails and also the role of EMDR in trauma healing, and the challenges of intimacy in relationships.

As we discuss, trauma can turn up in relationships in many forms can impact on both the psychological and physical barriers to intimacy, which can prevent singles and couples from fully exploring the many ways to experience sexual pleasure.

EMDR is a tool I have used myself to try and overcome phobias and also behaviours that don’t serve me well. If you’re unfamiliar with the technique, EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is most commonly used to treat PTSD, but now is used to solve a range of issues.

It involves recalling the traumatic episode, or the particular fear, and then through specific eye movements and some other type of stimulation (talking, for example), the brain reprocesses the memory and reduces its significance in your mind. It may sound woo-woo, but it’s actually not and very quickly can help in situations where the traumatic episode is quite specific (at least, that was my own experience).

We also touch on the importance of consent, proper sex eduction and how sexual orientations such as asexuality and demisexuality are gaining recognition.

You can find Indigo here:https://milehighpsychotherapy.com/meet-the-therapists

If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)

Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.

Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.

Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.

What others are saying:

"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."

“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”

“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.”

What happens when you’re no longer having sex in a relationship and is there a space for a different type of intimacy when sexual intercourse is no longer present in it.

This is the topic I discussed with Leora Lightwoman, whom I have met previously, both on the show and in real life! As a tantric practitioner, Leora is familiar with meeting couples whom struggle with sexual desire but want to remain intimate with each other.

We delve into the liberation from traditional sexual roles, the importance of redefining sexual energy and connection, and the need to create space for intimacy. Leora emphasises curiosity and mystery in long-term relationships, the challenges of communication, and the significance of making intimacy a priority.

She also highlights the importance of playfulness, devotion, and honouring the body as it changes, ultimately celebrating transformation and new beginnings in sexual relationships.

I enjoyed hearing her practical tips for how to build and sustain a close relationship with one’s partner.

Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.

If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new and well received 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)

Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.

Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.

What others are saying:

"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."

“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”

“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.”

If you’re not a frequent TikTok user, you may have missed the buzz around the hashtag #bushtok, a lively debate about whether to embrace a full lady garden, opt for a Hollywood (take it all off), or go Brazilian (leave a small landing strip).

Most of the women weighing in on this debate are younger, many of whom likely grew up in the shadow of pornography. Let’s be honest, unless you’re into vintage 70s ‘Behind the Green Door’ type material, pubic hair is rarely seen on performers. This cultural backdrop fuels the assumption that pubic hair serves no purpose (which it absolutely does) and, therefore, should come off.

But the resurgence of the bush signals a shift. Women are waking up to the idea that they do have a choice when it comes to their pubic hair, and many are choosing to keep it.

For us older women, it’s a different story. Some of my friends have never touched it, while others prefer to take it all off. In Cap d’Agde, the naturist village I’ve often visited in France, the trend is clear: French women of all ages go for the full Hollywood, total hair removal, no matter what their age. In fact, it’s rare to see anyone there with pubic hair, as both men and women have embraced the completely hairless look.

This week on the podcast, I sit down with Sam Feldman, author of Hookups, Hiccups, and Happenstances, to share our opinions on pubic hair. And let me tell you—you might be surprised by where Sam stands on it all!

Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.

If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)

Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.

Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.

What others are saying:

"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."

“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”

“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.”

Hookups, Hiccups, and Happenstances is a collection of erotic short stories that capture the spirit of the era when attitudes toward sex were being redefined. Set in the wild, libertine world of the 60s and 70s, Sam’s stories follow the character of Butch, a man admired by both men and women for his unapologetic embrace of sexual freedom. The book explores encounters that celebrate human desire, autonomy, and mutual pleasure, offering a refreshing and boundary-pushing perspective on relationships.

You can buy it here.

Find Sam on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sam.l.feldman

Once whispered about in hushed tones, the topic of painful penetration is finally finding its voice. It’s surprising, as well as alarming, how many women endure this struggle in silence, putting up with traditional sexual intercourse through gritted teeth, simply because it hurts too much.

For older women, pain during penetration is often blamed on hormonal change but it’s not just about biology. There’s the fear that can be as a result of trauma, an accident, for example, that can make penetration feel like an insurmountable hurdle. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s a partner or something as clinical as a speculum; the result is the same. For some, like my guest Dr. Amanda Olson, it was an accident so severe it turned intimacy into agony. Her journey, though, led her to something remarkable: retraining as a pelvic floor therapist and founding Intimate Rose, a company that creates vaginal dilators and other tools designed not just to heal, but to rediscover pleasure.

When Amanda and I spoke, we dived headfirst into the subject of dilators - how they work, who they help, and why they matter. We explored their role in managing conditions like vaginismus, that frustratingly misunderstood tightrope between mind and body. Amanda explained how combining dilators with carefully guided exercises can be life-changing, transforming what once felt impossible into something empowering.

But here’s the issue that comes up so often during my podcast conversations which is that so many women struggle to access this kind of support. Why? A shocking lack of education among healthcare professionals. The resources are there, the tools exist, but too often the system leaves women fumbling in the dark, feeling dismissed or ashamed for even asking.

It’s a conversation long overdue, and one that’s only just beginning.

If you have enjoyed this podcast, please comment, subscribe, share.

The more people I can reach about how to enjoy sex in later life, the more likely I am to help remove the stigma around this topic.

00:00 Introduction to Intimate Health Solutions

02:54 Understanding Vaginal Dilators

06:05 Addressing Pain and Mobility Issues

09:02 The Role of Breathing Techniques

11:59 Supporting Emotional and Physical Healing

15:06 Collaboration with Healthcare Professionals

17:59 Advocating for Sexual Health

21:01 Impact of Cancer on Sexual Health

23:52 The Importance of Early Intervention

Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.

If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my upcoming guide Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber!

Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £9.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.

Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.

What others are saying:

"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."

“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”

“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.”

Bob Mizek-Menopause for men and I connected through Substack, where he’s been sharing his journey following prostate cancer surgery. His writing tackles the highs and lows of that experience including dealing with medical professionals of varying skill levels and learning to advocate for his own sexual health.

What I truly admire about Bob is his raw honesty. He’s candid about the challenges he’s faced, both in the bedroom and beyond. From navigating treatment options to rethinking assumptions about menopause and hormonal changes, Bob’s journey has been one of growth, resilience, and discovery. He openly discusses how his illness has deepened the bond with his partner, especially in how they communicate about sex.

Bob’s determination to ensure other men don’t feel overlooked or ignored, as he once did, is inspiring. He’s now writing about his own version of the "Male Menopause," exploring the impact of significant hormonal changes, and inviting others to join the conversation. You can follow his insightful and moving reflections on Substack.

Thank you, Bob, for your honesty and generosity in sharing your story with the Sex Advice for Seniors audience!

Please leave a comment or a question as we’d love to hear your thoughts and please do share if you found our conversation of value.

Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you’ll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex.

If you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new and highly regarded 32 page booklet, Getting Started with Sex Toys, a chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will improve as a result!

Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources that will help you to become a better lover. This isn’t just a hobby—it’s my passion and profession.

Your subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.

What others are saying:

"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."

“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”

“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.”