If you often find yourself worrying that your partner is going to leave you, you aren't irrational—you might just have an anxious attachment style. And if you're among the one in five adults with anxious attachment style, you're probably extra sensitive to signs of emotional danger in a relationship.

In this episode, Dr. Stephen Snyder explains how relationship anxiety operates and why a natural sensitivity to emotional danger can accidentally trigger self-sabotaging "protest behaviors" (like spam-texting or freezing your partner out). Shifting the focus away from trying to "fix" yourself, Dr. Snyder shares four practical strategies to help you accept your needs, look for a partner who can provide genuine security, and learn to co-manage your anxiety for a stronger, healthier bond.

• Understand Anxious Attachment: Why your intense need for reassurance is a biological trait, not a flaw.
• Identify Protest Behaviors: Spot the hidden ways anxiety causes us to test our partners.
• Look for the "Three Rs": Why you need a partner who is Reliable, Reassuring, and Real.
• Speak Up Early: How to communicate your security needs upfront without shame.

Encore Episode: This episode originally aired December 22nd, 2019

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It's really not that hard to identify someone's "love language." Just notice what they most complain about!

Encore Episode: This episode originally aired August 5th, 2019

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This is The Beginning of the End, a Relationship Doctor mini-series from author and podcaster Jessie Stephens. Jessie's debut book, Heartsick, follows three stories of heartbreak, the kind of heartbreak that upends a life, and puts words around a brand of grief that we, as a culture, do not respect enough.

In this three-part mini-series, Jessie shares three brand new stories, unique to the podcast. In episode three, Jessie turns inwards, and tells us her own story of heartbreak.

Purchase Heartsick:

• Amazon
• Bookshop.org
• Audible

Read a transcript of this episode on Simplecast.

Relationship Doctor is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast. Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter.

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