In this Reclaim episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner explores the powerful connection between pornography use and mental health, especially anxiety and depression. Many people wonder, “Is pornography causing my anxiety and depression—or am I turning to pornography because I already feel anxious or depressed?” For many, the answer is both. Pornography often begins as a coping strategy—a way to numb, escape, or quiet emotional pain—but over time it can increase anxiety, secrecy, fear of discovery, shame, hopelessness, and emotional disconnection.

Dr. Skinner explains how pornography impacts the nervous system, contributes to anxiety, and fuels depression through shame-based beliefs like, “Something is wrong with me.” He encourages listeners to slow down, understand their personal emotional pathways, reduce shame, and approach themselves with compassion while building real tools for emotional and relational healing.

This episode provides practical steps for healing, including emotional awareness, structure and routine, supportive connection, professional help when appropriate, and reconnecting with meaning, identity, and presence in life and relationships. Healing is possible—reclaiming your life starts with understanding what’s happening inside and choosing healthy action.

• PHQ-9 Depression Questionnaire – assess depression symptoms

• GAD-7 Anxiety Screening Tool – assess anxiety levels

• Work with a therapist experienced in pornography addiction, compulsive behavior, or betrayal trauma

• Consult with a medical professional if anxiety or depression becomes overwhelming

• Build healthy daily routines to reduce vulnerable downtime

• Join support groups, work with a sponsor, and build accountability

• Engage in supportive community to reduce secrecy and shame

• Reclaim: A 12-Week Course to Heal from Pornography and Rebuild Your Life https://www.humanintimacy.com/reclaim Learn emotional regulation skills, coping tools, structure strategies, and relational rebuilding steps.

• Upcoming Human Intimacy Conference Join leading experts, powerful education, and supportive community focused on healing, connection, and rebuilding relationships. Learn more and register: https://www.humanintimacy.com/conference

• Emotional awareness and feeling identification

• Breathing and grounding exercises

• Exercise and wellness routines

• Journaling and reflection

• Reconnecting with purpose, values, and identity

Reclaiming Core Values and Identity

Summary: In this episode of the Reclaim Podcast: Healing from Pornography and Rebuilding Your Life, Dr. Kevin Skinner explores the essential process of rediscovering who you truly are beneath the layers of shame, secrecy, and behavior patterns. He introduces three key pillars of inner transformation—core values, identity, and differentiation—as the foundation for lasting recovery.

Dr. Skinner explains that core values act as a personal compass, guiding your decisions and defining the kind of person you want to become. By reconnecting with values such as honesty, humility, and kindness, individuals can begin to restore self-respect and integrity.

He then discusses identity, emphasizing that recovery is not just about stopping unwanted behaviors—it’s about integration. Healing occurs when the person you are on the inside matches who you present on the outside. Dr. Skinner shares stories of individuals who have found freedom and self-acceptance by stepping into truth rather than living in fear of exposure.

Finally, Dr. Skinner explores differentiation, the ability to stay true to yourself while remaining emotionally connected to others, even under stress. Drawing on the work of Dr. Murray Bowen and Dr. David Schnarch, he shows how differentiation helps individuals maintain authenticity and integrity, especially when facing relational conflict or shame.

Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own values, clarify their motivations for change, and write the statement:

“When I live my core value, I am ________.”

This exercise helps solidify internal alignment and fosters growth toward living as the truest version of oneself.

Suggested Resources:

• Skinner, K. (Author). Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal

• Skinner, K. (Author). Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal

• Bowen, M. (1978). Family Therapy in Clinical Practice

• Schnarch, D. (1997). Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships

• Frankl, V. (1959). Man’s Search for Meaning

• Visit HumanIntimacy.com/Reclaim for additional courses and tools on rebuilding identity and connection.