It's the holiday season, and it's a time when people feel many things. Sometimes it's not all cheer or all good.

This time of year can be hard on people because of stress, loneliness or real life pressure. The intensity of everything being "joyous" can feel like a heavy weight. We want to lighten things up with some real talk about lonely feelings-- and to suggest a few solutions.

This episode is for you if you need a little boost and don't feel quite like whooping it up at the celebration. We've got you.

Don't forget to share this podcast - maybe that's your first opportunity to reach out!

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin delves into the intricacies of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), exploring its unique approach and why it often gets misunderstood. She highlights the therapy's blend of cognitive techniques with mindfulness and emotion regulation, and discusses its potential pitfalls when applied rigidly. Vanessa offers alternative strategies for distress tolerance and emphasizes the importance of context and flexibility in therapy.

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

Hello Listener:

If you’re enjoying this show: Please don’t forget to subscribe, rate the podcast and share with friends. Thank you for listening, wherever you are, around the globe.

In this episode, Vanessa discusses her recording with podcast host and author, Kate Moryoussef, for the December 18th, 2025 episode of the “ADHD Women's Wellbeing” podcast.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-womens-wellbeing-podcast/id1605386171

In that episode of the ADHD Women’s Well-being Podcast, Vanessa and Kate discuss the role of OT for ADHD, particularly for adults, insights about ADHD and neurodiversity, internal family systems, and dialectical behavioral therapy.

This episode of Real Over Ideal is a behind the scenes glimpse at Vanessa ‘s post-recording thoughts and an expansion/ preview (depending on when you are listening!) of some of the topics discussed on Kate’s podcast.

Watch for the episode on ADHD Women's Wellbeing Pod and remember to keep it real over ideal.

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

In this episode, Vanessa provides real information about how chronic pain makes changes in your brain. She talks about the difficulties of coping with chronic pain and its invisibility to others around the person in pain.

Vanessa discusses the very real pitfalls of chronic pain management programs and how they can facilitate shame instead of healing. Most importantly, this episode dives into ways that people with chronic pain can live full and meaningful lives. Vanessa explains how people living with chronic pain can be hopeful about their future.

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

Happy Thanksgiving, 2025 !

In honor of the day before Thanksgiving being a big travel day in the United States-- we're publishing a day early, in case it's a fun companion for your travels. No matter where in the world you are-- you're getting an extended episode this week. But our podcast is heard in 37 countries and counting, so let us say: we wish you great holiday if you're celebrating.

The focus of this episode is Taylor Swift's "Eldest Daughter," and we're referencing a great article from Pam Moore on the topic that you can read right here:

https://creators.yahoo.com/lifestyle/story/why-im-convinced-taylor-swifts-eldest-daughter-is-about-therapy-035952099.html

More on the episode:

Vanessa Gorelkin and friend of the podcast, special guest Pam Moore, delve into the themes of Taylor Swift's song "Eldest Daughter" through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. (Note: sending apologies to any serious audiophiles who find the sound to be imperfect on this episode. Putting together the tracks and snips of "Eldest Daughter" was a new, challenging ground. Thank you for your patience.)

Here's what's up on this episode-- Pam and Vanessa are both trained Occupational Therapists with an eye towards mental health and wellness. They've each worked with clients on an individual and larger scale to enhance their understanding of their unique selves and how to optimize their life experience, even in the face of challenges.

Who better to discuss some of the layers of the song, "Eldest Daughter," with all respect to the master of lyrical layers, Taylor Swift.

Vanessa and Pam provide a basic description of the helpful therapeutic approach, Internal family systems, of which they are both admittedly big fans-- and they explore how the song reflects the concepts of "parts" work, self-energy, and the protective mechanisms we develop. The conversation touches on personal experiences, the symbolism in Swift's lyrics, and the broader implications of IFS in understanding oneself and relationships.

Here's where to find Pam and her many creative offerings-- you won't be sorry!

https://www.pam-moore.com/

Please let us know what you thought of the episode and if you'd like more like this one. Thanks for listening to the show-- we are so glad you are here.

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin discusses the concept of a 'good vibes brain bank'—a mental space where individuals can deposit their small victories to combat negativity bias and enhance self-efficacy. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and celebrating minor accomplishments, which can significantly impact mental health and resilience. Through personal anecdotes and practical strategies, listeners are encouraged to build their own brain banks to foster a positive mindset and counteract self-doubt.

Give yourself credit for small victories.
A brain bank helps combat negativity bias.
Small wins reinforce self-efficacy and momentum.
Chores are meaningful activities that structure life.
Banking successes can lead to greater motivation.
Documenting achievements helps retrain your brain.
Pick a format that works for you to track successes.
Make deposits of small wins daily.
Micro actions are essential for overall well-being.
Building a brain bank honors your efforts.

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

Join Vanessa Gorelkin as she delves into the complexities of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and the misconceptions surrounding it.

In this episode, Vanessa discusses the internet's tendency to mislabel emotional women as borderline and the impact of such stigmatization. She also offers practical advice for those overwhelmed by emotions, whether or not they have a BPD diagnosis.

Here are links to the movies mentioned in this epiosde-- they're worth a watch!

Fatal Attraction:

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1007141-fatal_attraction

Single White Female:

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/single_white_female

Key takeaways:

The internet's role in mislabeling women with BPD.

The true definition and symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

The importance of dialectical behavioral therapy in treating BPD.

Practical tools for managing overwhelming emotions.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealthAwareness #RealOverIdeal

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

Hey Listeners — did you catch the title reference? It’s a line from a 1990's movie. Think you know it? Email me at realoveridealpod@gmail.com
with your guess — or if you just can’t stand the suspense before I reveal it in a future episode. 😊

This week, I’m talking about accessibility at work — not as a checkbox or a charity gesture, but as a real engine for innovation and creativity.

The idea came from my colleague Dr. Daniel Balva, who invited me to join a project highlighting the importance of accessibility in professional spaces. We dive into how designing for inclusion often sparks solutions that help everyone, and how shifting our mindset can turn “accommodations” into opportunities to grow smarter and more adaptive as organizations and as people.

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467