In this Season 2 finale of Psychologically Speaking, Leila reflects on the space between intention and action the often messy, foggy middle that so many of us occupy quietly.

She shares listener insights, one reader’s poetic take on language and liminality, and introduces the psychology of emotional granularity (via Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett) to help us name and navigate our emotional states with more clarity.

Plus: practical tools for neurodivergent listeners, thoughts on joy as a breadcrumb—not a reward and a first look at Season 3: The Joy Experiments.

If you’ve felt in-between lately… this one’s for you.

In this episode, I share a small but eye-opening story that begins with a single word: lacuna. What started as a moment of academic frustration turned into a reflection on the way we, as adults, often skim rather than fully engage — with words, ideas, and even our own decisions.

I explore how our reading habits reflect something deeper: a psychological tendency to stay safe, to avoid uncertainty, and to hold ourselves back from fully stepping into new knowledge. Drawing on research around word retrieval, loss aversion, and socioemotional selectivity theory, I unpack what it means to sit in the space between knowing and doing – and why that space seems to grow as we get older.

From my experience hosting Psych at the Mic for the British Psychological Society, to reading hilarious bedtime stories with my nine-year-old, I reflect on how curiosity, language, and even self-doubt shape the way we learn, lead, and show up in the world.

This is an episode for anyone who’s ever felt overwhelmed by information, unsure whether they “know enough,” or stuck between intention and action. It’s also a quiet nudge to slow down, ask questions, and give ourselves permission to still be learners – even in the middle of our careers.

Whether you're skimming, overthinking, or saying yes to too much (guilty!), there's something in here for you.

www.leilaainge.co.uk

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila Ainge delves into the theme of tiredness, exploring its various forms and the impact it has on our lives. She discusses the emotional, social, creative, spiritual, physical, and mental aspects of tiredness, emphasizing the importance of understanding these different types to prevent burnout. Leila also highlights the significance of making intentional decisions and the role of rest in maintaining a fulfilling life. Through personal anecdotes and psychological insights, she encourages listeners to reflect on their own experiences with tiredness and to prioritize self-care and self-compassion.

takeaways

• Tiredness can stem from various sources, not just physical exhaustion.
• Emotional tiredness often arises from holding space for others and people-pleasing.
• Social tiredness can be exacerbated by overstimulation and group dynamics.
• Creative tiredness is common among those in creative roles or entrepreneurship.
• Spiritual tiredness relates to a loss of meaning or connection to purpose.
• Physical tiredness is often linked to disrupted sleep and illness.
• Mental tiredness can result from decision fatigue and overthinking.
• Rest is essential for maintaining energy and preventing burnout.
• Self-compassion can help us face our tiredness without the need to fix it immediately.
• Making intentional decisions can help manage the mental load we carry.

tiredness, human behavior, psychology, emotional exhaustion, mental fatigue, decision making, self-compassion, entrepreneurship, identity, rest

How our need for external validation fuels overwork

summary

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila explores the intricate relationship between human behavior and the use of lists. She delves into why we love lists, the psychological benefits they provide, and the potential pitfalls that can lead to overwhelm. The conversation also touches on the unique challenges faced by individuals with ADHD when managing lists, the importance of structuring lists effectively, and the distinction between lists that serve to prove oneself versus those that promote genuine progress. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own to-do lists and consider how they can align their tasks with their true goals and values.

takeaways

• Lists help us organize thoughts and create structure.
• Cognitive ease makes lists appealing for memory.
• Quick gratification from ticking off tasks is satisfying.
• Cultural conditioning influences our relationship with lists.
• Lists can simplify complexity and provide clarity.
• ADHD can complicate the effectiveness of lists.
• The serial position effect impacts memory of list items.
• To-do lists can become validation-seeking tools.
• Reflection on tasks can reveal true motivations.
• Balancing internal and external validation is crucial.

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, I reflect on a milestone moment delivering a leadership workshop on imposter phenomenon and the realization that I had already arrived. Inspired by Ilona Maher’s bold stance on owning success, I explore what it means to trust your expertise and step confidently into the spaces you’ve worked hard to enter.

We also dive into Margaret Atwood’s poem The Moment, unpacking how metaphor shapes our understanding of confidence, leadership, and personal growth—essential insights for coaches, business leaders, and anyone navigating self-doubt.

Plus, a sneak peek at my Adult Inset Day Easter webinar and a special shoutout to The Belonging Project Podcast with Fiorenza Rossini, where we had a brilliant conversation on success and belonging.

In this conversation, Leila Ainge discusses the importance of mental flexibility and resilience, particularly in the context of running and personal growth. She emphasizes the need to navigate self-doubt and challenges without succumbing to societal pressures for transformation. Leila advocates for starting from one's current position and using existing skills as a foundation for growth, rather than striving for a complete overhaul of oneself.

takeaways

• Flexibility of thinking is crucial for overcoming challenges.
• Mental resilience can be developed through activities like running.
• Self-doubt is a common experience, especially in a transformation-focused society.
• It's important to recognize the societal pressures on women regarding self-improvement.
• Transformation doesn't always mean complete change; start where you are.
• Using existing skills can serve as a springboard for growth.
• Staying in uncomfortable spaces can lead to clarity and understanding.
• Mind tricks can help maintain perspective during difficult tasks.
• The idea of transformation can often be misleading and burdensome.
• Practicing self-acceptance is a form of defiance against societal norms.

Transformation stories are everywhere—before-and-afters, glow-ups, success arcs. But what if real self-love isn’t about reinventing yourself—but about being present where you are, without pressure?

This episode unpacks how social media, self-help culture, and gendered resilience narratives push us toward self-optimization at the cost of self-acceptance. We explore the psychology of storytelling (McAdams, 2001), the feminist critique of the "bounce-backable woman" (Gill & Orgad, 2018), and why emotional smoothing shapes how we retell our past.

If you’re ready to stop waiting for the ‘perfect’ story and start sharing where you are, this one’s for you.

Connect with Leila online at www.leilaainge.co.uk and subscribe to her newsletter for psychological insights direct to your inbox. to sign up for the FREE Webinar, head to www.leilaainge.co.uk

Psychologically Speaking is produced by Buckers at Decibelle Creative / @decibelle_creative

In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, host Leila Ainge sits down with Katie Cope, founder of Keppel Leopard Creative, to explore the intricate world of brand identity, storytelling, and the challenges faced by female entrepreneurs. Katie shares her journey from redundancy to building a branding agency that empowers women to embrace their authentic selves in business.

The conversation dives into the psychology behind branding, the pressures women face in professional spaces, and how societal norms influence personal and business identities. Katie also reflects on her multicultural background, her unexpected career path through animation and TV production, and how creative problem-solving has shaped her approach to branding.

Key topics include:

• The power of brand storytelling and personal identity.
• Challenges women entrepreneurs face in professional branding.
• The balance between authenticity and professionalism in online spaces.
• How Katie’s diverse cultural and career experiences inform her work.

This episode is packed with insights on confidence, personal branding, and the psychological barriers that shape how we present ourselves to the world.