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More Bags Than Michael Kors & Other HR Violations

Chris and David are back with another episode that would definitely get them fired from any respectable workplace. These two walking liability cases tackle everything from foot-breathing to inanimate object marriages with the professionalism of drunk teenagers. Buckle up for conversations your HR department would use as training materials for "what not to say at work."

What You're Getting Into:
👜 “More bags than Beyoncé” vs. “More bags than Michael Kors” – the metaphor Olympics
📬 Listener answers: how class reunions worked before Facebook (spoiler: shame and phone books); and other homeostasis related things…
👟 Shoe design… if humans had to breathe through their feet (goodbye, Crocs)
🗣️ Picking one word to say forever – and yes, Chris said that…

From there, we spiral into chaos:
💍 Which inanimate object deserves your hand in marriage?
🧠 Unlocking first childhood memories – mostly trauma and food
📦 The legendary Shorts Saga: Chris confronts his neighbors like Liam Neeson in Taken
📜 David finally finds his basic training letters (spoiler: not Pulitzer material)

Then it gets weird:
📰 News headlines → blockbuster movie pitches
🐝 Bees vs. Wasps – the animal kingdom’s pay-per-view main event
🍺 This Week’s Pour Choices – bad decisions on tap
💬 Things men only learned once they got a girlfriend & Best comeback to “you’re ugly”
🎂 Celebrity birthdays (we’re sorry in advance)
📊 The Venn Diagram Game – where logic and dignity go to die

This episode is part science, part stupidity, and part petty neighborhood drama. Basically, Planet Earth if narrated by drunk idiots.

Warning: Contains more uncomfortable silences than a performance review and twice as many questionable life choices.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
00:40 – MORE BAGS THAN BEYONCÈ
1:55 – WE ASKED, WE ANSWERED
5:34 – BREATHING THROUGH YOUR FEET
7:35 – ONE WORD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
8:53 – DISAPPEARING OBJECTS
10:27 – WHICH INANIMATE OBJECT WOULD YOU WANT TO MARRY?
12:48 – WHAT’S YOUR FIRST MEMORY?
16:30 – DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL
21:36 – CHRIS GOT HIS SHORTS!
27:23 – BIGGEST POOL IN THE U.S.
35:05 – BASIC TRAINING LETTERS
41:05 – FACT OR CAP?
47:06 – FINGER GAMES
48:21 – JERRY JONES
50:10 – NEWS HEADLINE = MOVIE PLOTS
59:18 – BEES VS WASPS
1:02:13 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
1:04:39 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE BEST RESPONSE TO “YOU’RE UGLY”?
1:08:00 – ASK REDDIT – MEN, WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT WOMEN WHEN YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND?
1:12:52 – NOBODY HAS WHAT TATE HAS!
1:14:00 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:15:38– VENN-DIAGRAM GAME
1:21:01 – OUTRO

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Boat Days, Beer Math & Finger Fountains

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we’re pouring drinks, pouring nostalgia, and pouring way too much thought into whether our skin is gaslighting us about prunes.

We kick things off with:
🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices – liquid courage before questionable opinions
🏈 Chris officially declares himself an Ohio State fan solely because his girlfriend is. (We’re not saying he’s whipped, but…)
🫠 The Prune Conspiracy: if they’re just dried plums, why do we say “pruney” when we’ve had too much water?
🦷 Do teeth have a taste, or are we just too used to our own mouths?

From there, we spiral into chaos:
📞 How did people even plan class reunions before social media—carrier pigeon?
💧 Five liquids you wish you could shoot out of your fingers
🍺 Beer Math: have you personally cleared 7,400 beers in your lifetime?

Then it gets sunny:
🚤 Designing the perfect boat day (celebs, drinks, activities—the works)
🍹 Storytime: that legendary Red Eyes Dock Bar trip with the boys
📈 We now have over 25,000 followers across all socials, which is… concerning

Plus:
🎬 Guessing LadBible’s Top 100 Movies of the 21st Century (and getting irrationally mad at the list)
🏟️ Washington D.C. Sports Draft – picking the all-time greats like we’re building the Avengers
📱 David’s new marketing hack: send spam texters our YouTube link, then block them

And of course, the unhinged hypotheticals:
💰 Would you rather $1 per step or 10 seconds added to your life per step?
🪳 Would you rather find thousands of roaches in your attic or one human? (The human gets picked more than it should.)
📦 Chris’s shorts get delivered to a neighbor who can’t be bothered to walk 200 feet—are they the villain?
🎂 Birthday shoutouts (sorry in advance)
🛠️ AskReddit – Industries that only exist because people are stupid
🥤 Celsius drink recall… because they accidentally shipped them with White Claw inside
📟 90’s/2000’s trends that would absolutely baffle kids today (RIP dial-up tones)

This episode is part beer-fueled philosophy, part petty neighbor drama, and part evidence that we should never be in charge of actual laws.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
4:32 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
6:09 – A NEW ALLEGIANCE
9:15 – BACK TO THE PRUNES
11:00 – BASIC TRAINING LETTERS
13:03 – WHAT DO TEETH TASTE LIKE?
15:28 – CLASS REUNIONS
18:43 – FINGER LIQUIDS
21:36 – POUR CHOICES FOR PRESIDENT
23:27 – OVER/UNDER 7,400 BEERS?
26:06 – THE PERFECT BOAT DAY
32:30 – THE HUNT FOR RED EYES
35:48 – WE’RE VIRAL!
37:45 – TOP 100 MOVIES OF THE 21ST CENTURY
46:30 – WASHINGTON D.C. SPORTS DRAFT
52:58 – MARKETING HACK
55:18 – WOULD YOU RATHER?
58:43 – GOING POSTAL
1:06:04 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:08:12 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT INDUSTRY ONLY EXISTS BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE STUPID?
1:15:10 – TOTAL RECALL
1:15:42 – ASK REDDIT – WHA’S A 90’S/2000’S TREND THAT WOULD BAFFLE KIDS TODAY?
1:24:11– WORD ASSOCIATION
1:25:14 – OUTRO

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Prune Juice, Potatoes & Parenting Trust Falls

This week on The Pour Choices Show, Chris comes in hot after being called out for phoning it in the past few weeks—and by “hot,” we mean he delivers the world’s most awkward motivational speaker intro. From there? Pure chaos.

We kick it off with:
🥔 The definitive debate: mashed, baked, fries, tots… what is the supreme version of the potato?
🚗 Can a hearse legally drive in the HOV lane? (Asking for a friend. A very quiet friend.)
🏚️ Should a teacher be allowed to give a homeless student homework? It’s exactly as uncomfortable as it sounds.
🥤 PRUNE JUICE. What is it, and why does it sound like a witch’s potion?

Then we keep spiraling:
🤸‍♂️ If you could master one skill upside down, what would it be? (Chris immediately gets weird.)
👶 David’s one-year-old has started trust falling—should we be concerned? (Yes.)
☕ Coffee people vs. non-coffee people: who’s living their best life? Spoiler: not us.
🎵 Blind ranking one-hit wonders: do we commit slander against “Take On Me”? Probably.

Plus:
🏡 Build your perfect retirement town: three celebs, two restaurants, two activities, and three movies always playing. Our answers are… questionable.
📜 Joe reads an emotional high school sonnet about backyard football glory days AND a letter David sent him from basic training. (We cried. Then we made fun of it.)
⚡ Dopamine Rush Draft: which tiny, random things make life worth living?
🎂 Happy Birthday shoutouts (sorry in advance)
🏈 Joe’s story about the time he met Trent Dilfer at the NFL Draft, which somehow doesn’t end in a restraining order

And because we can’t help ourselves:
🦋 AskReddit – You’re allowed to be reborn, but not as a human. What’s your pick?
🤕 What’s the worst physical pain you’ve ever felt?
🛸 Remember that “Flying Saucer Kid” hoax? We do.
⚤ Gender stereotypes we hate (spoiler: most of them)
🧠 Would you rather forget everyone you love, or have everyone you love forget you? (We regret this question immediately.)

This episode has it all: potatoes, prune juice, parenting fails, and a draft that may or may not ruin our friendships.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
1:35 – CHRIS THE POLITICIAN
2:42 – WHAT’S THE BEST VERSION OF POTATO?
4:38 – CAN A HEARSE DRIVE IN THE HOV LANE?
5:15 – YOU’RE TOO HIGH
7:37 – HOMELESS HOMEWORK
8:38 – WHERE DOES PRUNE JUICE COME FROM?
10:22 – MASTERING THINGS UPSIDE DOWN
12:59 – ACCURATE JOB DESCRIPTIONS
15:24 – BLIND RANKING ONE HIT WONDERS
19:46 – SUDDEN URGES
21:55 – BUILD YOUR PERFECT RETIREMENT TOWN
31:56 – TRUST FALL BABY
33:22 – COFFEE BREAK
37:01 – READINGS FROM HISTORY
44:58 – JUNIOR
47:42 – DOPAMINE DRAFT
1:01:01 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:03:15 – MEETING TRENT DILFER
1:07:12 – NATIONAL ROOT BEER FLOAT DAY
1:08:22 – ASK REDDIT – YOU’RE ALLOWED TO BE REBORN, BUT NOT AS A HUMAN. WHAT WOULD YOU COME BACK AS?
1:12:54 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE WORST PHYSICAL PAIN YOU’VE EVER FELT?
1:16:58 – FLYING SAUCER KID
1:18:26 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S A GENDER STEREOTYPE YOU HATE THE MOST?
1:23:28 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
1:25:18 – WOULD YOU RATHER?
1:27:32 – OUTRO

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Koalas Get Chlamydia, Chris Gets Tattoos

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we dive headfirst into camping disasters, psychopath quizzes, and—of course—the national epidemic of sexually transmitted koalas. Buckle up. It’s one of those episodes.

We kick things off with:
🎤 A Coldplay Kiss-Cam recap: accidental romance, awkward energy, and questionable camera angles
🏓 Where the hell did pickleball come from? One minute it's nowhere, the next it's your uncle’s entire personality
🍑 BBLs & BB...BCCs? We don’t know either. And frankly, we regret it.
🖋️ Chris got some new ink and thinks it makes him deep now

Then it takes a turn:
📺 The most annoying TV character of all time? We name names, and some of them might hurt your childhood
📖 David signs yet another Bible in a hotel room. Autograph reads: “Thanks for reading my book – Jesus”
🫧 “What’s a Bubbly?”—an Urban Dictionary rabbit hole we now can’t un-know
🐨 Koalas: Cute, cuddly, and apparently STD-ridden

Also in this chaos:
🥾 Chris recaps his camping trip, which included fire, sweat, and zero survival skills
🔊 A round of “What’s the first thing you think of?” featuring phrases like “candle wax” and “Nickelback”
👨‍🎤 Male bonding at the tattoo parlor... the only place where it’s socially acceptable to cry and fart at the same time

And because we can’t behave:
🔍 Whistleblowers, Deepthroat, and the internet’s collective immaturity
🧠 Are You a Psychopath? (Spoiler: probably.)
🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices: Alcohol, as therapy.
💸 AskReddit – You get $1 million, but your last Google search is your new job. Hope you Googled “How to fake your own death” recently.
🧓 AskReddit – When did you first realize you were middle-aged? Bonus points if it involved back pain or a Costco hot dog.

Plus:
📺 “He Who Must Not Be Named” has been cast... and we’re already preparing for disappointment
👧 Chris’s girlfriend’s toddler named one of her dolls Keisha… so naturally, Chris named the other one Jamal. Because white girls raising queens need balance.

If this episode had a spirit animal, it’d be a koala with an STD and a lower-back tattoo. Tune in, pour up, and remember: if you Google “is it normal to cry while camping,” that’s your new job now.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
2:24 – COLDPLAY KISS-CAM
5:17 – WHERE DID PICKLEBALL COME FROM!?
7:06 – B.B.L.'s & B.B.B.C.C's
9:55 – CHRIS’S NEW INK
14:13 – WHO’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV CHARACTER OF ALL-TIME?
16:09 – THANKS FOR READING MY BOOK
16:42 – WHAT’S A BUBBLY?
18:31 – INFECTED KOALAS
20:17 – TEXAS & TIPPING
24:58 – CHRIS’S CAMPING RECAP
33:13 – FIRST THING YOU THINK OF
37:44 – MALE BONDNG
39:52 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
44:45 – WHISTLEBLOWER
46:10 – ARE YOU A PSYCHOPATH?
51:30 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
56:38 – ASK REDDIT – YOU GET ONE MILLION DOLLARS, BUT THE LAST THING YOU GOOGLED IS YOUR JOB NOW, WHAT ARE YOU?
1:00:11 – EPSTEIN & THE ESPYS
1:02:56 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT WERE YOU DOING THE DAY YOU REALIZED YOU’VE HIT MIDDLE AGE?
1:07:52 – HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED
1:10:09 – KEISHA & JAMAL
1:11:50 – OUTRO

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Off-Brand Opinions & Cold-Ass Friendships ❄️📞💩

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we're throwing it way back—to unlimited nights and weekends, dollar-store knockoffs, and the kind of friendships that leave you passed out in the snow.

We kick things off with:
📱 Remember when you had to wait until 9PM to talk to your friends? Gen Z will never know the struggle.
🥤 Our favorite off-brand things—because sometimes Dr. Thunder hits harder than Dr. Pepper.
🤬 "UGHHH, THE WORST"—a game of gut reactions, irrational hatred, and Chris’s bed-taking etiquette (spoiler: it’s wrong).

Then things spiral into:
❄️ The time David got blackout drunk and Joe left him outside. In the snow. For hours. Friend of the year.
🍺 F***, Marry, Kill: But make it about beer, gas station snacks, and adulting.
💸 Sports betting logic vs. our betting wish list—because we’d absolutely bet on whether McDonald’s ice cream machines are working.
📉 Being an adult sucks: A TED Talk (but slurred).
🧑‍⚖️ Groups That People Hate Draft: Featuring Disney adults, HOA presidents, and anyone who calls soda “pop.”

And somehow it gets weirder:
🎵 State Anthems—we try to determine which state has the best song, but honestly forget half the states exist.
🧻 An Amazon review about 2-ply toilet paper that deserves its own Pulitzer.
🍷 This Week’s Pour Choices: Probably why our lives are like this.
⚡ He Who Must Not Be Named (unless it’s in a new HBO series).
🎉 Celebrity birthdays, including some people we definitely pretended to know.

Plus:
🍝 AskReddit – What’s the American equivalent of breaking spaghetti in front of Italians? (Answer: microwaving fish in the office.)
🧍‍♂️ AskReddit – What can you do better naked than clothed? (Let’s just say “vacuuming” wasn’t the answer we expected.)

So grab a drink, thank your off-brand childhood, and remember: if your best friend leaves you outside to freeze, at least make sure they draft you in the “groups people hate” round.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
2:30 – UNLIMITED NIGHTS & WEEKENDS
7:48 – WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE OFF-BRAND THING OF ALL TIME?
14:15 – “UGHH, THE WORST”
15:22 – WHICH SIDE OF THE BED IS THE RIGHT, AND WHICH IS THE LEFT?
18:06 – LEFT OUT IN THE COLD
19:38 – F***, MARRY, KILL
23:22 – SPORTS BETTING
26:38 – WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD BET ON?
35:40 – BEING AN ADULT SUCKS
37:56 – “GROUPS THAT PEOPLE HATE” DRAFT
58:22 – STATE ANTHEMS
1:00:52 – CONCERNING AMAZON REVIEW
1:04:12 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
1:07:24 – HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED
1:09:43 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:13:50 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IS THE AMERICAN EQUIVALENT OF BREAKING SPAGHETTI IN FRONT OF ITALIANS?
1:17:32 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO BETTER NAKED THAN CLOTHED?
1:23:23 – OUTRO

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The Juice Is Loose, and So Is Chris…

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we break out the nostalgia, the Harry Potter facts, and some very questionable opinions—including one about the true identity of the Kool-Aid Man. (Is he the juice or the pitcher? The people demand answers.)

We kick things off with:
🎧 That one time there was an actual contest to guess when Amy Winehouse would die—for an iPod. Yes, really.
💡 Chris declares Maryland’s Thomas Point Lighthouse “famous,” and David calls bullsh*t—because outside of Annapolis, nobody knows that thing exists.
☕ Chris introduces “Proffee” (protein + coffee), and David considers ending the show on the spot.

From there, we spiral:
👾 Nostalgia hits hard with Invader Zim, but Chris immediately cancels himself by forgetting Juneteenth exists
🫗 The Kool-Aid Man debate gets… philosophical
📝 Chris insists he’s “very detail-oriented,” which is probably the least detail-oriented thing you can say
🎤 Cringe Alert: Chris re-enacts the “Who put the muffins in the freezer” TikTok trend—on his coworkers. In real life.

Then it gets wild:
💥 Chris finally talks about his girlfriend like we’re defusing a bomb
💬 We play a round of "Random Questions" that include “is 20 a lot?” and “is a hot minute longer than a cold one?” (spoiler: yes, we’re idiots)
🧙‍♂️ HARRY PODDER (A Podcast): We consider pivoting the entire show into a Harry Potter rewatch podcast because those clips get more views than anything else we post
📚 Did You Know – Harry Potter Edition: Fun facts about magical flatulence and Dumbledore’s questionable decisions

Plus:
🪓 Joke of the Day: “How does a non-binary person kill people?” They/them. (We're going to hell.)
🎤 We revisit how Elvis died because… why not?
💵 How Much Would It Take: Would you drink your own pee? Go bald forever? Never text again?
🧠 Are You a Psychopath? Take the quiz and find out who’s most likely to become a Netflix documentary
🔬 Ask Reddit: You’re a mad scientist creating a weapon of mass frustration—what do you build?

This episode is packed tighter than a Juneteenth bank line Chris didn’t know was closed. Tune in, drink up, and pray we don’t actually become a Harry Potter podcast.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
1:29 – AMY WINEHOUSE CONTEST
3:44 – THAT FAMOUS LIGHTHOUSE IN MARYLAND
5:08 – WTF IS A PRO-FFEE?
7:19 – INVADER ZIM
8:42 – JUNETEENTH
10:56 – IS THE KOOL-AID MAN THE PITCHER OR THE JUICE?
12:00 – “VERY DETAIL ORIENTED”
14:04 – BEATING THE SYSTEM
16:40 – TIKTOK CRINGE
19:49 – EXTROVERTING AN INTROVERT
23:28 – RANDOM QUESTIONS
24:29 – HARRY PODDER (A PODCAST)
28:03 – DID YOU KNOW? (HARRY POTTER EDITION)
37:26 – JOKE OF THE DAY
38:11 – THE KING OF ROCK N ROLL
40:43 – CHRIS’S GIRLFRIEND
43:53 – HOW MUCH MONEY WOULD IT TAKE FOR YOU TO DO THESE THINGS?
48:21 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
50:05 – ARE YOU A PSYCHOPATH?
55:14 – NATIONAL DAYS & BIRTHDAYS
1:02:42 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S YOUR MILDLY INFURIATING INVENTION?
1:20:45 – OUTRO

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Turn the Air Down, Flush the Truth Away 💨💩🍺

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we kick things off by asking the big questions—like how the hell did P Diddy dodge the sex trafficking charge? Did money change hands? Did he flush the evidence? Which conveniently leads us to another mystery: Where does poop go after you flush it? No really. Is it just... stored somewhere? Forever?

From legal loopholes to sewage systems, we spiral fast:

🕶️ Night vision: How expensive is it to see in the dark, and can it help you see what’s not even there?

🍺 Pinter Brewing: David bought a homebrew kit off an email ad, and we’re either getting rich or hospitalized.

🌬️ “Turn the air up or down?” We tackle the question that has ruined relationships and HVAC units nationwide.

Then David forces the real issue:
🎯 Chris STILL won’t talk about his new girlfriend… so David turns up the heat with the Baby Daddy Speed Round—asking rapid-fire questions about fatherhood, despite Chris being a stepdad for like, two weeks.

We get into:
👶 “Would You Rather – New Dad Edition”: Would you rather step on a LEGO or listen to “Baby Shark” for hours a day?
🍼 “Guess What These Baby Terms Mean”: Chris learns what meconium is and regrets everything.
💍 “How Long Until You…” move in, share a toothbrush, or start calling her kid “champ”?
🧠 Guess the Category: Three random images. One common theme. Try not to embarrass yourself.

Plus:
🎂 Celebrity Birthdays
🍷 This Week’s Pour Choices
🕳️ Are dimples just face buttholes?
😈 AskReddit: Most diabolical coworker nicknames - “Slacksquatch,” “Janet the Caffeine Succubus,” and the man simply known as “Printer Jesus”

So grab your baby wipes, pour a homebrew, and turn the air to whatever the hell you want—this is the most dad-coded episode we’ve ever done.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
1:32 – DIDDY DO IT?
3:34 – CAN YOU SEE IN THE DARK?
4:56 – NIGHT VISION
6:42 – WHERE DOES POOP GO?
10:17 – PINTER BREWING
16:17 – DO YOU TURN THE AIR UP OR DOWN?
20:25 – KICK THE DUST UP
23:21 – DAVID PUTS HIS FOOT DOWN
24:33 – PRIME DAY
30:22 – BABY DADDY SPEED ROUND
33:20 – WOULD YOU RATHER? – NEW DAD EDITION
38:06 – GUESS THE CATEGORY
46:10 – GUESS WHAT THESE THINGS ARE – NEW DAD EDITION
50:25 – HOW LONG UNTIL YOU…
53:42 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY
54:21 – WHAT ARE DIMPLES
55:27 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
57:38 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE MOST DIABOLICAL NICKNAME FOR A COWORKER YOU’VE EVER HEARD?
1:01:40 – OUTRO

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HAPPY F***ING FREEDOM DAY! 🇺🇸🦅💥

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we celebrate America the only way we know how—by discussing international conflict, dark hypotheticals, food rankings, Hogwarts houses, and of course, the possibility of sexually negotiating world peace.

We kick things off with:
🎶 A banger rendition of “I Ran” by A Flock of Seagulls
🇮🇷 A perfectly timed Facebook comment about Iran: “They bout to be called I shoulda RAN”
💣 And the real question: Would you commit unspeakable acts on Osama bin Laden on September 10th if it meant 9/11 never happened? Spoiler: Chris answers too quickly.

Then it gets patriotic:
🥩 Blind Ranking Fourth of July Foods (Hot dogs vs. Potato salad? There’s a correct answer.)
🏛️ Most ‘America’ Moment of Your Life—and no, it’s not just shooting fireworks off a boat shirtless.
🧙 Assigning U.S. States to Hogwarts Houses (Spoiler: Florida is definitely Slytherin.)
🌭 Regional 4th of July Traditions – Apparently some people eat tacos and call it freedom.

But wait, there’s freedom-fueled nonsense:
📈 David’s cholesterol is down, but Chris still won’t admit he has a girlfriend.
🧠 Try-Not-to-Laugh jokes that range from dark to career-ending.
🎩 The eerie Lincoln/JFK coincidences return to haunt us.
🌙 Chris dreams of leaving the podcast for ESPN—probably because we made him do a 4th of July Mad Lib.
🚗 “Drivers who creep forward at red lights—what dark timeline are you racing toward?”

And as always, we deliver the goods:
🧃 This Week’s Pour Choices: Tastes like freedom and poor decision-making.
🤖 A.I. videos that somehow keep racism alive, even in 4K.
🗽 AskReddit dives into a burning question – What’s the most American thing ever

So crack a beer, light something illegal, and declare war on your eardrums—because this is the most American episode we’ve ever made.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
3:04 – WAKA FLOCKA SEAGULLS
3:56 – I-SHOULDA-RAN
6:03 – WOULD YOU PREVENT 9/11?
7:24 – WHAT WAS THE MOST “AMERICA” MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE?
9:29 – HOW DO YOU MEASURE THE PRESSURE OF A SNEEZE?
12:47 – BLIND RANK 4TH OF JULY FOODS
15:45 – U.S STATES AS HOGWARTS HOUSES
21:54 – “UPSTATE” NEW YORK
22:52 – REGIONAL 4TH OF JULY DIFFERENCES
29:50 – JAPANESE INDEPENDENCE
33:15 – LIFE UPDATE
35:34 – TRY NOT TO LAUGH - JOKES
38:42 – THE ABE LINCOLN AND J.F.K. COINCEDENCE
42:53 – CHRIS’S DREAM
45:19 – I’M NOT YOUR GUY, BUDDY
47:26 – I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE - A MAD LIB
51:03 – WOULD YOU RATHER?
52:30 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
53:38 – ASK REDDIT – DRIVERS WHO CREEP FORWARD AT A RED LIGHT, WHY?
57:12 – A.I. VIDEOS
58:38 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IS THE MOST AMERICAN THING EVER?
1:01:42 – WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO “DECLARE WAR”?
1:04:05 – OUTRO

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