• #98 ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU
    Dec 24 2025

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    KFC Christmas, Home Alone Conspiracies, & Seriously.., WTF is Kwanzaa?

    This episode is basically what happens when you lock two grown men in a room with Christmas spirit, internet access, and absolutely no adult supervision. We spiral from Japan apparently treating KFC like holy communion on Christmas, to Chick‑fil‑A setting the global standard for customer service, to Chris discovering you can schedule texts like it’s brand-new witchcraft. Somewhere in there, we calculate how financially irresponsible the 12 Days of Christmas actually is and argue whether Home Alone is secretly a Christian movie… before immediately explaining why it makes absolutely zero sense from a legal, parental, or logical standpoint.

    Then things get festive and unhinged. We break down Christmas trivia no one asked for (like Donner allegedly being Rudolph’s dad), try to figure out what the hell Kwanzaa actually is, and ask some slightly offensive questions about it that will definitely age poorly. There’s beet strips (don’t ask), Florida charging $50 for a plastic license, Christmas conspiracy theories, and the eternal problem of what to buy the person who already owns everything—and doesn’t need another candle. We also play games like This or That – Christmas Edition, Would You Rather – Christmas Edition, and match the best-selling gifts of the 90s to the correct year, which is way harder than it should be if you claim to love nostalgia.

    We wrap it up with Pour Choices (liquid courage), a holiday work outing recap, and AskReddit gems about the worst gifts people have ever received and everyone’s hottest Christmas takes. So like, smash subscribe or don’t—we’ll still be here arguing about Die Hard and judging your Secret Santa choices either way. Drop a comment if you’ve ever gotten socks from someone who definitely hates you.

    Now let’s make POUR CHOICES!

    New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

    Chapters
    INTRO – 00:00
    DIE HARD WON’T DIE – 2:25
    TECHNOLOGY UPDATES – 3:51
    12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS – 7:30
    HOME ALONE IS A CHRSTIAN MOVIE – 13:25
    HOME ALONE DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE – 15:37
    BEET STRIPS – 18:40
    CHRISTMAS TRIVIA – 20:25
    RUDOLPF THE RED NOSED REINDEER – 28:11
    HAPPY KWANZAA! – 28:55
    KWANZAA QUESTIONS – 34:20
    THIS OR THAT – CHRISTMAS EDITION – 37:05
    SACRIFICIAL LICENSE RENEWAL – 41:03
    WHAT DO YOU GET THE PERSON WHO HAS EVERYTHING? – 42:41
    CHRISTMAS CONSPIRACY THEORIES – 45:02
    BEST SELLING GIFTS OF THE 90'S – 54:23
    WOULD YOU RATHER - CHRISTMAS EDITION – 58:41
    THIS WEEK'S POUR CHOICES – 01:00:23
    HOLIDAY WORK OUTING – 01:03:01
    ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE WORST GIFT YOU’VE GOTTEN FOR CHRISTMAS? – 01:05:19
    ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S YOUR CHRISTMAS HOT TAKE? – 01:11:18
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! – 01:21:42
    OUTRO – 01:23:29

    _________

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    1 hr and 26 mins
  • #97 YOU CAN'T DO THAT... HERE
    Dec 17 2025

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    Bezos Island, Nudist Colonies, & Panic at Panera

    If you've ever asked yourself, “What do Confucius, naked people, masturbating hobos, and Jeff Bezos ghost challenges have in common?” …welcome to the only podcast dumb enough to answer that question.

    In this episode of Pour Choices Show, the boys dig into some real philosophical brain benders—like whether Bingo was the farmer or the dog, why the alphabet is in that weird-ass order, and if Netflix is about to turn Harry Potter into a drag brunch. David admits he didn’t know “striped pajamas” had Holocaust vibes, Chris caught a homeless dude punching the clown in a Panera bathroom, and somewhere in between, they hand out heartfelt advice for terrible human beings.

    We also find out that nudists apparently have a capital, and the only thing weirder than that is the fact that Chris's boss wants to know everyone’s favorite tree. Oh, and don’t miss our totally serious survival breakdown of the Jeff Bezos Naked Island $1.3M Challenge, where you’ve got weekly Amazon credits and no WiFi—but hey, at least there’s a U2 iPod and angry monkeys to keep you company. Toss in some Pour Choices, a couple wild Ask Reddit segments (including a nudist AMA), and our usual chaos, and you've got yourself another episode your therapist would recommend skipping.

    👊 Smash that like button like a monkey defending his island turf.
    🧠 Drop a comment with your Amazon survival plan.
    🫠 Subscribe so we can continue ruining your day weekly.

    Now let’s make POUR CHOICES!

    New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

    Chapters
    00:00 – INTRO
    2:45 – WHO IS CONFUSCIUS?
    4:35 – WILL NETFLIX RUIN HARRY POTTER?
    9:13 – DON'T CALL IT A TREE-MAIL
    12:27 – WHY DOES THE ALPHABET EXIST IN THAT ORDER?
    17:31 – WAS BINGO THE NAME OF THE FARMER OR THE DOG?
    19:39 – CHRISTMAS NOSTALGIA
    20:56 – STRIPED PAJAMAS
    25:42 – DOUBLE DARE 2025
    28:33 – GREAT ADVICE FOR $HITTY PEOPLE
    35:55 – HOME ALONE 5 – HOMELESS & ALONE
    40:57 – NUDIST CAPITAL OF THE WORLD
    52:19 – COME TOGETHER
    53:13 – $1,000,000 CHALLENGE
    59:14 – WHICH IS MORE FRUSTRATING?
    1:02:42 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
    1:06:34 – ASK REDDIT – I’M A NUDIST, ASK ME ANYTHING
    1:09:23 – ASK REDDIT – IF YOU COULD SEND A 10 SECOND MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON EARTH AT ONCE, WHAT WOULD IT SAY?
    1:12:02 – POOR OLD MEN
    1:14:10 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    1:16:12 – OUTRO

    _________

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    1 hr and 20 mins
  • #96 BLOOD RUNS COLD! FT. PROFESSIONAL WCW WRESTLER, GLACIER!
    Dec 10 2025

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    Blood, Bischoff & the $35K Cosplay

    This week’s episode is basically a wrestling fan fever dream, because Glacier himself crashes the show — yes, the man with the $500,000 entrance, the $35,000 armor, and the coldest gimmick WCW ever attempted without getting sued by Mortal Kombat. The ice melts immediately when he tells us about a little kid’s priceless reaction to meeting Glacier in the wild, then we hit him with a game of “Is It True?” where we fact check his Wikipedia entry. From being the first All‑State player out of Brunswick, to carving his father’s badge number into his armor, to auditioning for Walker Texas Ranger and doing stunt work for Disney — the man has lived 14 lifetimes and looks like he could still hit a spinning back kick today.

    Glacier breaks down how wrestlers basically play “themselves but turned up to 11,” why his debut was delayed longer than Half-Life 3, how DDP helped shape his career, and whether Goldberg’s spear actually separated souls from bodies. He even talks about the strongest guy in the locker room, his cinematic masterpiece with Kurt Angle (River of Darkness), and the one moment from his entire career that hits different. And because he apparently trusts us, he drops real wisdom like: Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” Meanwhile we’re 90% reacting poorly.

    After Glacier heads out, we immediately return to being gremlins — recapping everything we learned, drafting our Best 5-Man Wrestling Team, spiraling through Ask Reddit’s reasons people quit WWE, and of course… This Week’s Pour Choices, because nothing pairs better with childhood nostalgia than adult beverages and poor decision-making.

    So smash subscribe like you’re hitting a Goldberg spear, like the video if Glacier ever made you spam the kick button in WCW vs NWO Revenge, and drop a comment telling us your all-time favorite wrestling entrance (bonus points if it involved pyros or lawsuits).

    Now let’s make POUR CHOICES!

    New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

    Chapters
    00:00 – INTRO
    1:15 – PREPPING FOR GLACIER
    2:45 – BLOOD RUNS COLD!
    8:24 – WCW VIDEO GAMES
    12:00 – IS IT TRUE – 1st ALL-STATE PLAYER
    15:19 – IS IT TRUE - $500,000 ENTRANCE
    19:50 – IS IT TRUE - $35,000 COSTUME?
    23:41 – THE ART OF THE PERSONA
    30:52 – IS IT TRUE – #126
    32:57 – IS IT TRUE – WALKER TEXAS RANGER
    34:36 – IS IT TRUE – INDIANA JONES STUNTMAN
    37:33 – THE HOGAN TURN
    42:25 – A GLACIER'S BEST FRIEND
    47:59 – THE ORIGIN OF GLACIER
    51:26 – LIFE IS 10% WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU AND 90% HOW YOU REACT TO IT
    56:03 – HATERS GONNA HATE
    1:03:50 – THE GOLDBERG SPEAR
    1:07:44 – STRONGEST GUY IN THE LOCKER ROOM
    1:10:42 – RIVER OF DARKNESS
    1:14:11 – GLACIERS FAVORITE MOMENT
    1:18:36 – WELCOME TO THE SHOW
    1:22:50 – ERIC BISCHOFF & POWER PLANT
    1:28:25 – THE ICE HAS MELTED
    1:30:46 – STARSTRUCK
    1:37:47 – BEST 5 MAN WRESTLING TEAM DRAFT
    1:44:45 – ASK REDDIT – WHY DID YOU STOP WATCHING WRESTLING?
    1:48:47 – THIS WEEK'S POUR CHOICES
    1:49:09 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY
    1:51:45 – OUTRO

    _________

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    1 hr and 55 mins
  • #95 HIS CAUSE, MY CLEATS
    Dec 3 2025

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    Beethoven’s Mom, Bill Belichick’s Game Ball, & Air Jesus’

    Oh, you thought this episode was going to be classy? Adorable. Instead, the guys open with a theological deep dive into whether Jesus should replace Jordan on sneakers — because nothing says “WWJD” like dunking on Satan in a pair of crucifixion 11s. From there, it spirals into the usual chaos: heated debates over which floor surface will skin your thighs faster, existential Waffle House conference realignments, and the revelation that Chris has lived 30+ years without ever tasting a damn blueberry pancake. Lock him up.

    But wait, there’s more. A Spectrum tech recognizes Chris months later, which is only weird because Chris has zero recollection of this man. Then there's a DUI confession (because nothing screams "Pour Choices" like drunk driving stories), a Hitler twist in a presidential trivia game, and a spirited round of “replace any movie title with the word foreskin.” Spoiler: it gets wildly out of hand. Also: disturbing truths, blind-person trap questions, Harry Potter audiobooks, and the NFL stat segment that somehow made it to round 10 because neither of them can shut up. It's dumb, it's offensive, and it's exactly what your algorithm-addicted brain needs.

    Smash that subscribe button like it's your ex’s car window, comment with your favorite foreskin flick, and like the video if you’re still pretending this show makes you “feel seen.”

    Now let’s make POUR CHOICES!

    New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

    Chapters
    00:00 – INTRO
    3:51 – HE HAS RISEN
    7:33 – COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT
    10:44 – TURF VS HARDWOOD
    15:21 – THE WAFFLE HOUSE CONFERENCE
    17:29 – BLUEBERRY PANCAKES
    20:56 – FAMILIAR FACES
    22:35 – UNDER THE INFLUENCE
    25:52 – OPENING QUESTIONS
    32:48 – GUESS THE GRADE FROM THE SCHOOL ID
    37:06 – ONE LINER INSULTS
    42:35 – FAST MONEY
    46:05 – KATE FARMS
    48:21 – HARRY POTTER & THE CHAMBER OF FORESKINS
    50:43 – ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER­­­
    55:02 – $1,000,000 CHALLENGE
    59:09 – MAGICAL AUDIBLE
    1:03:49 – CRAZY NFL STATS & FACTS – ROUND 10
    1:08:00 – CRAZY NFL STATS & FACTS – CHAMPIONSHIP
    1:11:39 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IS A DISTRUBING TRUTH THAT YOU KNOW?
    1:18:15 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IS THE MOST DIABOLICAL QUESTION TO ASK A BLIND PERSON?
    1:21:58 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
    1:23:53 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    1:25:57 – OUTRO

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    1 hr and 28 mins
  • #94 JESUS SAVES!
    Nov 26 2025

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    Cranberry Lies, Toe Woes, & Couch Bros

    Thanksgiving may be about gratitude, family, and carbs... but this episode? This episode is about broken toes, cranberry lies, and the kind of courtroom dialogue that somehow aired on cable without triggering an FCC raid. David and Chris come in hot, starting with a Harry Potter stand-up clip that immediately gets Avada Roasted into oblivion. Then it's off the rails into Thanksgiving chaos: what even is cranberry “sauce”? Why do rolls disappear like socks in the dryer? And is it stuffing or dressing—or just whatever your aunt ruins every year?

    Somehow, we also landed on Sanford & Son dropping the hardest courtroom line since Judge Judy got sassy, Rosa Parks dying more recently than your brain is ready for, and Chris’s new couch that’s so big it might qualify for its own lease. Oh, and for some reason Chris is able to remotely start the car he sold to a stranger. You know, totally normal stuff. Things spiraled, as usual. Chris interviewed a guy whose entire resume was “I’m good at stuff.” Sprinkle in NFL stats, Reddit rabbit holes, “drunk uncle or philosopher?” guessing games, and some good ol’ fashioned bathroom stall poetry—because nothing says male bonding like graffiti and historical trivia.

    🎯 If this fever dream of a podcast made you laugh, cry, or question the structure of society, do the thing: comment, subscribe, and slam that like button harder than Chris slammed that couch into his apartment. Or don’t. But then we’ll assume you're the “1” who voted against releasing the Epstein files.

    Now let’s make POUR CHOICES!

    New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

    Chapters
    00:00 – INTRO
    8:34 – A MAGICAL ROAST
    10:51 – TOE UPDATE
    15:11 – WHY IS IT CALLED CRANBERRY SAUCE?
    17:16 – ROLLS, ROLLS, & MORE ROLLS
    19:08 – STUFFING VS DRESSING
    20:49 – WOULD YOU RATHER – THANKSGIVING EDITION
    25:17 – IT'S SANFORD, SON!
    27:23 – ROSA PARKS
    28:05 – IDIOM ORIGINS
    39:09 – “I’M GOOD AT STUFF”
    41:44 – NAME THAT THING
    45:08 – BIG COMFY COUCH
    53:16 – FORDPASS APP
    57:15 – 427 to 1
    59:49 – ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
    1:07:47 – CRAZY NFL STATS & FACTS – ROUND 9
    1:12:06 – WHO SAID IT – A DRUNK UNCLE OR A FAMOUS PERSON?
    1:15:39 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    1:17:29 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
    1:18:49 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT HAVE PEOPLE BEGUN TO FORGET OVER TIME?
    1:24:20 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IS THE BATHROOM GRAFFITI YOU READ & REMEMBER?
    1:31:13 – THIS DAY IN HISTORY
    1:33:04 – OUTRO

    _________

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    1 hr and 39 mins
  • #93 YER A WIZARD HARRY
    Nov 19 2025

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    Pumice Stones, Purple Poop, and Power Rangers PTSD

    Nothing says "holiday spirit" like putting your tree up in early November and scouring your toilet bowl like it personally wronged you. Chris is already in full Christmas mode (despite still having broken toes), while David discovers the magical power of pumice stones—and unfortunately, the side effects of ube pancakes. Spoiler: Barney-colored diapers.

    We tackle the truly important questions: What Harry Potter spell would you abuse for petty gain? What number should float over people’s heads in public like a video game HUD? If lasagnas stack, do they merge? Also: we blind rank our apocalypse survival team (yes, the guy with the crossbow and no personality made the list), dive into the existential horror of living in a nightclub for a year for $1M, and try to decide whether Shiloh or Wishbone was the better good boy. Oh, and David casually starts a garden. No homo.

    If you’ve ever wondered why “TGI Fridays” dropped the TGI, why club food tastes like edible regret, or how long you’d survive in a world run by war-hungry otters, this episode is for you. Tap that like button like it's covered in glitter, subscribe because shame is dead, and comment with your favorite Harry Potter spell (just don’t say Expelliarmus, you basic).

    Now let’s make POUR CHOICES!

    New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

    Chapters
    00:00 – INTRO
    5:41 – IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!
    ­­­7:20 – PUMICE STONE FTW!
    13:03 – HARRY POTTER SPELLS IN EVERY DAY LIFE
    16:10 – JUDGING BY THE NUMBERS
    18:03 – BLIND RANK YOUR APOCOLYPSE SURVIVAL TEAM
    22:00 – UBE PANCAKES
    24:05 – LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS
    25:29 – ONE HAS TO GO – HARRY POTTER EDITION
    31:47 – CRAZY NFL STATS & FACTS – ROUND 8
    37:11 – ABC GAME - HARRY POTTER EDITION
    43:15 – GO GO POWER RANGERS
    48:22 – $1,000,000 CHALLENGE
    51:28 – TGIF
    54:24 – TWIN PEAKS
    54:49 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
    57:59 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE FIRST SPECIES TO START A WAR WITH HUMAN LEVEL INTELLIGENCE?
    1:05:00 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE FASTEST WAY YOU’VE EVER LOST WEIGHT?
    1:09:39 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    1:10:57 – OUTRO

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    #UbePoopChronicles #NFLNonsense #MaleHumor #SarcasticAF

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    1 hr and 15 mins
  • #92 3-2-1 GOTTA BLAST!
    Nov 12 2025

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    Gay-bors, Glitter Bombs, and Goliath Regret

    This week’s episode is like if a Hallmark Christmas special did ayahuasca in a Walmart parking lot. David’s out here befriending his new gay-bors while trick-or-treating like a wholesome sitcom dad, and Chris realizes—live on air—that he bought a set of glitter-covered ornaments and basically nuked his entire living room in fairy dust. Meanwhile, both of them are already deep into the Christmas spirit like they’ve never met November.

    Somewhere between broken toes, boot countdowns, and Amazon delivery PTSD, we debate whether one lasagna stacked on another is still one lasagna (it is, fight us). We dissect cinematic betrayal in House of Dynamite, talk Billy Bob Thornton’s forehead wrinkles in Goliath, and get deep with air karate videos from shirtless men named Joel on Instagram. Plus, the billion-dollar screen challenge will have you reconsidering your Pornhub habits, and we bring back more NFL stats, “Pour Choices,” and a debate over whether Shiloh or Wishbone was the better good boy. (Spoiler: one of them didn’t make us cry as hard.)

    🎄 Like this video if you’ve ever inhaled glitter by accident, subscribe because your therapist said you need routine, and comment with your favorite lasagna conspiracy theory.

    Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

    New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

    Chapters
    0:00 – INTRO
    5:53 – HOUSE OF DYNAMITE
    10:57 – GOLIATH
    12:38 – SALLY’S SEASHELLS
    14:54 – R-RATED MOVIES
    17:11 – 1 LASAGNA OR 2?
    19:31 – DAD JOKES
    22:08 – TOE UPDATE
    27:57 – GOTTA BLAST!
    29:09 – AMAZON WOES PT. 843
    35:49 – CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY
    41:13 – GAY-BORS
    45:38 – POP-STROKE
    49:57 – F&#% GLITTER
    52:05 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
    54:47 – SHILOH VS WISHBONE
    56:47 – POUR CHOICES BEER GARDEN
    58:23 – #JOELSATZMAN
    1:01:59 – CRAZY NFL STATS & FACTS – ROUND 7
    1:06:40 – $1,000,000,000 CHALLENGE
    1:12:41 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE BEST THING FOR HOME DEFENSE IF YOU CAN’T OWN A G**?
    1:21:46 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT ARE SOME OF THE CRAZIEST HUMAN STATISTICS EVER?
    1:29:44 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    1:33:45 – OUTRO

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    1 hr and 37 mins
  • #91 AS-SALAMU ALAYKUM
    Nov 5 2025

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    CJ Khaled, Prosthetic Stats & Reverse Exorcisms

    Welcome to another episode of Pour Choices, where the IQ drops faster than Chris’s Amazon delivery success rate. We kick things off with a very adult discussion about drunken pants-peeing (spoiler: it’s happened), then dive headfirst into the theology of Chris’s fake conversion to Islam — shoutout to our boy CJ Khaled. Meanwhile, David’s asking the real DMV questions: if you’ve got no legs, does your license still say you’re 6’2”? Science.

    We spiral into chaos with Harry Potter-themed “Would You Rather,” argue over ideal bottle mouth diameters (yes, really), and debate reverse exorcisms where the demon tells the priest to get out. There's also “Total Spine” (not a Metallica cover band, just Chris’s orthopedist), Mortal Kombat gods, food state rankings, Amazon woes round 12, and a $10M Groundhog Day challenge. Plus: broken toes, NFL stats, NSFW advice no one asked for, and gravestone texts you’ll regret sending.

    👉 Hit that like button like it’s a UNO card launcher, subscribe if you're into spinal puns, and comment your Muslim name if you're converting for content too.

    Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

    New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

    Chapters
    00:00 – INTRO
    3:10 – YOU’RE ONLY COOL IF YOU PEE YOUR PANTS
    4:24 – FORGED BY SEA
    7:14 – CHRIS IS CONVERTING TO MUSLIM
    10:15 – UNO!
    14:15 – YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO RIDE THIS RIDE
    15:59 – WHAT'S THE OPTIMAL DRINK OPENING SIZE?
    17:23 – CJ KHALED
    18:45 – REVERSE EXORCISM
    19:44 – TOTAL SPINE & MORE
    22:22 – SHEEVA
    23:48 – MOVIES & TV SHOWS
    28:35 – TOP 10 STATES WITH THE BEST FOOD
    35:10 – HARRY POTTER WOULD YOU RATHER
    42:56 – MORE AMAZON WOES
    46:53 – CRAZY NFL STATS & FACTS - ROUND 6
    50:24 – THE FALL FESTIVAL THAT WASN'T
    54:38 – $10,000,000 CHALLENGE
    59:59 – THIS WEEK'S POUR CHOICES
    1:03:10 – ASK REDDIT - YOUR LAST TEXT IS WHAT WILL BE WRITTEN ON YOUR GRAVESTONE, WHAT DOES IT SAY?
    1:07:44 – ASK REDDIT - WHAT'S A NSFW TIP THAT YOU WISH EVERYONE KNEW?
    1:10:52 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    1:11:50 – OUTRO
    _________

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    1 hr and 13 mins