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More Bags Than Michael Kors & Other HR Violations

Chris and David are back with another episode that would definitely get them fired from any respectable workplace. These two walking liability cases tackle everything from foot-breathing to inanimate object marriages with the professionalism of drunk teenagers. Buckle up for conversations your HR department would use as training materials for "what not to say at work."

What You're Getting Into:
👜 “More bags than Beyoncé” vs. “More bags than Michael Kors” – the metaphor Olympics
📬 Listener answers: how class reunions worked before Facebook (spoiler: shame and phone books); and other homeostasis related things…
👟 Shoe design… if humans had to breathe through their feet (goodbye, Crocs)
🗣️ Picking one word to say forever – and yes, Chris said that…

From there, we spiral into chaos:
💍 Which inanimate object deserves your hand in marriage?
🧠 Unlocking first childhood memories – mostly trauma and food
📦 The legendary Shorts Saga: Chris confronts his neighbors like Liam Neeson in Taken
📜 David finally finds his basic training letters (spoiler: not Pulitzer material)

Then it gets weird:
📰 News headlines → blockbuster movie pitches
🐝 Bees vs. Wasps – the animal kingdom’s pay-per-view main event
🍺 This Week’s Pour Choices – bad decisions on tap
💬 Things men only learned once they got a girlfriend & Best comeback to “you’re ugly”
🎂 Celebrity birthdays (we’re sorry in advance)
📊 The Venn Diagram Game – where logic and dignity go to die

This episode is part science, part stupidity, and part petty neighborhood drama. Basically, Planet Earth if narrated by drunk idiots.

Warning: Contains more uncomfortable silences than a performance review and twice as many questionable life choices.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
00:40 – MORE BAGS THAN BEYONCÈ
1:55 – WE ASKED, WE ANSWERED
5:34 – BREATHING THROUGH YOUR FEET
7:35 – ONE WORD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
8:53 – DISAPPEARING OBJECTS
10:27 – WHICH INANIMATE OBJECT WOULD YOU WANT TO MARRY?
12:48 – WHAT’S YOUR FIRST MEMORY?
16:30 – DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL
21:36 – CHRIS GOT HIS SHORTS!
27:23 – BIGGEST POOL IN THE U.S.
35:05 – BASIC TRAINING LETTERS
41:05 – FACT OR CAP?
47:06 – FINGER GAMES
48:21 – JERRY JONES
50:10 – NEWS HEADLINE = MOVIE PLOTS
59:18 – BEES VS WASPS
1:02:13 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
1:04:39 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE BEST RESPONSE TO “YOU’RE UGLY”?
1:08:00 – ASK REDDIT – MEN, WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT WOMEN WHEN YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND?
1:12:52 – NOBODY HAS WHAT TATE HAS!
1:14:00 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:15:38– VENN-DIAGRAM GAME
1:21:01 – OUTRO

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Boat Days, Beer Math & Finger Fountains

This week on The Pour Choices Show, we’re pouring drinks, pouring nostalgia, and pouring way too much thought into whether our skin is gaslighting us about prunes.

We kick things off with:
🍻 This Week’s Pour Choices – liquid courage before questionable opinions
🏈 Chris officially declares himself an Ohio State fan solely because his girlfriend is. (We’re not saying he’s whipped, but…)
🫠 The Prune Conspiracy: if they’re just dried plums, why do we say “pruney” when we’ve had too much water?
🦷 Do teeth have a taste, or are we just too used to our own mouths?

From there, we spiral into chaos:
📞 How did people even plan class reunions before social media—carrier pigeon?
💧 Five liquids you wish you could shoot out of your fingers
🍺 Beer Math: have you personally cleared 7,400 beers in your lifetime?

Then it gets sunny:
🚤 Designing the perfect boat day (celebs, drinks, activities—the works)
🍹 Storytime: that legendary Red Eyes Dock Bar trip with the boys
📈 We now have over 25,000 followers across all socials, which is… concerning

Plus:
🎬 Guessing LadBible’s Top 100 Movies of the 21st Century (and getting irrationally mad at the list)
🏟️ Washington D.C. Sports Draft – picking the all-time greats like we’re building the Avengers
📱 David’s new marketing hack: send spam texters our YouTube link, then block them

And of course, the unhinged hypotheticals:
💰 Would you rather $1 per step or 10 seconds added to your life per step?
🪳 Would you rather find thousands of roaches in your attic or one human? (The human gets picked more than it should.)
📦 Chris’s shorts get delivered to a neighbor who can’t be bothered to walk 200 feet—are they the villain?
🎂 Birthday shoutouts (sorry in advance)
🛠️ AskReddit – Industries that only exist because people are stupid
🥤 Celsius drink recall… because they accidentally shipped them with White Claw inside
📟 90’s/2000’s trends that would absolutely baffle kids today (RIP dial-up tones)

This episode is part beer-fueled philosophy, part petty neighbor drama, and part evidence that we should never be in charge of actual laws.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
4:32 – THIS WEEK’S POUR CHOICES
6:09 – A NEW ALLEGIANCE
9:15 – BACK TO THE PRUNES
11:00 – BASIC TRAINING LETTERS
13:03 – WHAT DO TEETH TASTE LIKE?
15:28 – CLASS REUNIONS
18:43 – FINGER LIQUIDS
21:36 – POUR CHOICES FOR PRESIDENT
23:27 – OVER/UNDER 7,400 BEERS?
26:06 – THE PERFECT BOAT DAY
32:30 – THE HUNT FOR RED EYES
35:48 – WE’RE VIRAL!
37:45 – TOP 100 MOVIES OF THE 21ST CENTURY
46:30 – WASHINGTON D.C. SPORTS DRAFT
52:58 – MARKETING HACK
55:18 – WOULD YOU RATHER?
58:43 – GOING POSTAL
1:06:04 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:08:12 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT INDUSTRY ONLY EXISTS BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE STUPID?
1:15:10 – TOTAL RECALL
1:15:42 – ASK REDDIT – WHA’S A 90’S/2000’S TREND THAT WOULD BAFFLE KIDS TODAY?
1:24:11– WORD ASSOCIATION
1:25:14 – OUTRO

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Prune Juice, Potatoes & Parenting Trust Falls

This week on The Pour Choices Show, Chris comes in hot after being called out for phoning it in the past few weeks—and by “hot,” we mean he delivers the world’s most awkward motivational speaker intro. From there? Pure chaos.

We kick it off with:
🥔 The definitive debate: mashed, baked, fries, tots… what is the supreme version of the potato?
🚗 Can a hearse legally drive in the HOV lane? (Asking for a friend. A very quiet friend.)
🏚️ Should a teacher be allowed to give a homeless student homework? It’s exactly as uncomfortable as it sounds.
🥤 PRUNE JUICE. What is it, and why does it sound like a witch’s potion?

Then we keep spiraling:
🤸‍♂️ If you could master one skill upside down, what would it be? (Chris immediately gets weird.)
👶 David’s one-year-old has started trust falling—should we be concerned? (Yes.)
☕ Coffee people vs. non-coffee people: who’s living their best life? Spoiler: not us.
🎵 Blind ranking one-hit wonders: do we commit slander against “Take On Me”? Probably.

Plus:
🏡 Build your perfect retirement town: three celebs, two restaurants, two activities, and three movies always playing. Our answers are… questionable.
📜 Joe reads an emotional high school sonnet about backyard football glory days AND a letter David sent him from basic training. (We cried. Then we made fun of it.)
⚡ Dopamine Rush Draft: which tiny, random things make life worth living?
🎂 Happy Birthday shoutouts (sorry in advance)
🏈 Joe’s story about the time he met Trent Dilfer at the NFL Draft, which somehow doesn’t end in a restraining order

And because we can’t help ourselves:
🦋 AskReddit – You’re allowed to be reborn, but not as a human. What’s your pick?
🤕 What’s the worst physical pain you’ve ever felt?
🛸 Remember that “Flying Saucer Kid” hoax? We do.
⚤ Gender stereotypes we hate (spoiler: most of them)
🧠 Would you rather forget everyone you love, or have everyone you love forget you? (We regret this question immediately.)

This episode has it all: potatoes, prune juice, parenting fails, and a draft that may or may not ruin our friendships.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters
00:00 – INTRO
1:35 – CHRIS THE POLITICIAN
2:42 – WHAT’S THE BEST VERSION OF POTATO?
4:38 – CAN A HEARSE DRIVE IN THE HOV LANE?
5:15 – YOU’RE TOO HIGH
7:37 – HOMELESS HOMEWORK
8:38 – WHERE DOES PRUNE JUICE COME FROM?
10:22 – MASTERING THINGS UPSIDE DOWN
12:59 – ACCURATE JOB DESCRIPTIONS
15:24 – BLIND RANKING ONE HIT WONDERS
19:46 – SUDDEN URGES
21:55 – BUILD YOUR PERFECT RETIREMENT TOWN
31:56 – TRUST FALL BABY
33:22 – COFFEE BREAK
37:01 – READINGS FROM HISTORY
44:58 – JUNIOR
47:42 – DOPAMINE DRAFT
1:01:01 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1:03:15 – MEETING TRENT DILFER
1:07:12 – NATIONAL ROOT BEER FLOAT DAY
1:08:22 – ASK REDDIT – YOU’RE ALLOWED TO BE REBORN, BUT NOT AS A HUMAN. WHAT WOULD YOU COME BACK AS?
1:12:54 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S THE WORST PHYSICAL PAIN YOU’VE EVER FELT?
1:16:58 – FLYING SAUCER KID
1:18:26 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT’S A GENDER STEREOTYPE YOU HATE THE MOST?
1:23:28 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
1:25:18 – WOULD YOU RATHER?
1:27:32 – OUTRO

__________

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