Ask Rachel anything

A little community catch-up with my nuggets of ideas for this week and a listener question about connecting and staying close to his son who is pulling away.

Links to recommended episodes:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/vintage-how-to-talk-so-your-teenager-will-listen-and-teens-wanting-to-sleep-together-148/

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/masculinity-and-positive-ways-of-supporting-our-teenage-boys-an-interview-with-mike-nicholson-from/

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motivation-how-to-motivate-your-teenager-and-why-blame-and-shame-doesnt-work/

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/how-to-set-boundaries-that-actually-work-with-teens-vintage-151/

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/138-how-to-get-your-teenager-out-of-their-bedroom-even-one-whos-into-gaming/

I have also listed a lot of the best episodes about boys in the links to this episode:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/135-adolescence-help-for-parents-with-the-core-themes-how-to-discuss-and-connect-with-our-kids/

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

"Learning is struggle, and kids need to get comfortable struggling with learning." That's according to Jenny Anderson, who spends much of her time writing about what is happening at the frontline of parenting, education and AI. She explains that the big problem for educators and parents who want the best for their kids is that Silicon Valley is trying to take away as much of the struggle as possible. "The F word in Silicon Valley is friction. They want to get rid of friction, right?"

AI is now sweeping across every platform we use and for us parents, who felt blindsided by the introduction of smartphones, this is yet another challenge where we're navigating the frontline of something we don't fully understand.

In this interview Jenny gives us some excellent advice on how to navigate the latest challenge we've been handed, in a way that doesn't make life much harder for us and ensures our kids get the best rather than the worst out of this new technology.

Jenny Anderson:

• https://www.jennywestanderson.org/
• https://substack.com/@jennywesta

Teenagers Untangled Substack:

• teenagersuntangled.substack.com

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything

Why is it that so many teenagers today seem to be struggling with mental health?

In this conversation, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Matt Richtel reveals the surprising science behind adolescent development, explaining why teens aren't 'difficult' they're doing an important job and how there's a fundamental mismatch between biological adolescent development and the world in which we now life.

One of the key problems nowadays is that kids are going into puberty earlier, while the information age is bombarding them with vast amounts of new data and ways of comparing themselves before they're developmentally ready.

In response, instead of going out to conquer the world, they're now conquering on the inside, which is why he's called them Generation Rumination.

What explains adolescent behaviors, risk-taking, reward-seeking, and the ongoing mental health crisis? How does adolescence shape the future of the species? What is the nature of adolescence itself?

In this episode, Matt explains why the neurological mismatch between an ultra-potent environment and a still-maturing brain can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges.

More importantly, he gives us solid, science-backed techniques, to help our kids navigate a difficult new world.

Matt Richtel: https://www.mattrichtel.com/

For a PDF printout of the advice given by Matt in this episode go to Rachel's Substack: teenagersuntangled.substack.com

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

To lose a child is one of the worst things any of us an imagine. To lose him at 16 to a recreational drug is an unbearable pain. That's what happened to Fiona Spargo-Mabbs OBE, but she has turned her pain into an incredible quest to turn her 'I wish I'd known', suffering into a book, a drugs education foundation, and support for all of us parents so we never have to go through the pain she has suffered.

In this incredible conversation, Fiona discusses the importance of drug education, the prevalence of drug use among youth, and the need for better parental awareness and conversations.

She emphasizes the significance of understanding drug effects, the rise of synthetic drugs like spice and THC vapes, and the impact of drug use on mental health and addiction. Fiona also highlights the role of peer influence and the importance of providing youth with positive alternatives to drug use, such as sports and community activities.

Fiona Spargo-Mabbs OBE: www.dsmfoundation.org.uk

If you would like more detail, including a printable PDF covering the important lessons of this episode, join

The Big Hug community at: teenagersuntangled.substack.com

Here are just 10 of the things we discuss in this episode:

1. Most teenagers will face a drug-related decision by age 15, even if they don't use drugs themselves
2. The adolescent brain is more vulnerable to drug harm and addiction because it's arleady undergoing to rigorous rewiring
3. Modern drugs are significantly stronger and more dangerous than in previous generations
4. Peer pressure can be positive - teens can help each other make safer choices
5. Having pre-planned "escape strategies" and reasons to say no can help teenagers avoid risky situations
6. Connection and positive activities (sports, music, volunteering) are powerful alternatives to drug use
7. Parents should have frequent, short conversations about drugs rather than one big intimidating talk
8. Synthetic drugs like spice can be extremely dangerous, with one in six school vapes potentially containing harmful substances
9. Understanding how drugs actually work in the brain helps teenagers make more informed decisions
10. The most effective approach is being a supportive, non-judgmental parent who provides reliable information and creates a safe space for honest conversations

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

For this Sunday catch up I was joined by Susie Asli to discuss the challenges of parenting during times of personal loss, such as the death of a pet or a parent.

We share our experiences of our children’s different reactions to grief and the importance of allowing them to grieve in their own ways.

We also talk about the transition to university, the generational differences in parenting, and the importance of respecting teenagers’ independence.

I introduced a new app called Foqos, which helps manage device usage, and emphasised the need for parents to model good behavior and maintain open communication with their children.

Full episode links, and other details, will be available to Substack subscribers

teenagersuntangled.substack.com

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

Sleep's a FREE performance-enhancer, so why are so many teens not getting enough?

For us parents, sleep is the thing we all obsess about when we first bring our babies home, but if you're anything like me by the time they hit teens we've become pretty lax around that solid bedtime routine. In fact, research shows that around 2/3rds of teenagers aren't getting adequate sleep.

Why does this happen? In my case, I was exhausted from years of implementing a solid routine and they had become more interesting, so I wanted to spend more time with my kids in the evening. They were also busy doing other things; sports, socialising, homework.

Mostly, I think it's not a goal we target or brag about, so it becomes the silent victim of our busy lives.

That's why I decided it was time to talk to an expert (and parent who's navigated this) on sleep.

In this conversation Jessica Bryant of the Better Sleep Council helps us parents really think about our family attitude to sleep, how to support our teens in getting the amount they need, and to problem-solve your struggles.

Thanks to all of you lovely listeners who sent in your questions.

Jessica Bryant Sleep Happy Consulting

https://www.sleephappyconsulting.com/

The original sleep episode:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/sleep-the-free-fix-for-our-teens-with-no-side-effects/

RESEARCH:

Showed insufficient sleep on an average school night was reported by 68.9% of students. It was associated with higher odds of current use of cigarettes, marijuana, current sexual activity, seriously considered attempting suicide, feeling sad or hopeless, physical fighting, not being physically active:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21843548/

Cross-national variations in adolescent sleep patters:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/375375396_Cross-National_Variations_in_Adolescent_Sleep_Patterns_A_Time-Use_Study?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

Whatever food fears we've inherited, or learned, will be passed on to our kids unless we understand and challenge our beliefs, according to food psychologist, Dr Anna Colton.

As she rightly points out, fear-mongering about killer bars or toxic foods is way more dangerous, long-term, than the food itself.

In this episode we talk openly about my own struggles with my family's attitude to food, and Dr Colton explains in detail why it's way better to prevent our kids developing issues than it is to deal with the terrifying results of an eating disorder.

As she says: 'Eating disorders really do kill.'

She wants to help us parents raise a generation that trusts their bodies and enjoys food without guilt, fear or shame.

In this episode we talk about how to:

• Recognize early signs of disordered eating
• Speak neutrally about food and body image
• Protect your children from harmful diet culture messaging
• Understand the complex factors behind eating disorders
• Create a supportive home environment that promotes healthy eating habits
• The shocking study that proved anorexia is cause by weight loss.

Whether you're parenting teens, tweens, or younger children, this episode offers practical strategies to help your kids develop a positive relationship with food and their bodies. Dr. Colton's expert advice will empower you to break generational cycles of unhealthy attitudes about eating and self-image.

Dr Anna Colton

https://www.dranna.co.uk

https://www.instagram.com/the_food_psychologist/

BOOKS:

• How to Talk to Children about Food by Dr Anna Colton
• Anorexia and Other Eating Disorders: How to Help Your Child Eat Well and be Well by Eva Musby
• Good Girl by Hadley Freeman

EPISODES:

Body image:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/body-image-and-chores-helping-teenagers-to-develop-a-positive-body-image-also-getting-your-teena/

Healthy Eating:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/screens-and-teens-heres-how-to-help-them-and-yourself-manage-your-time-also-can-we-talk-about-h/

Bigorexia:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/feeding-your-teen-control-issues-and-bigorexia/

Does my teen need to lose weight:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/diet-does-my-teen-need-to-lose-weight-how-to-navigate-diet-culture-with-elyse-resch/

Eating Disorders:

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/eating-disorders-an-interview-with-beat-representative-umairah-malik-what-we-parents-need-to-know/

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

Is your kid stressed or lacking motivation? What if the antidote was pushing them less and giving them more of a sense of control over their lives?

It doesn't mean giving up your authority as a parent. As elite teen coach, Ned Johnson, explains the science tells us we can help our child sculpt a brain that is resilient, and ready to take on new challenges if we stop taking over.

In his practice he uses science, behavioural therapy and extensive case studies to offer help kids who're struggling with stress, anxiety, or lack of motivation.

His mantra is that as parents, we need to get out of our kids' way. We can only drive our kids so far. At some point, they will have to take control over their own path and our job is to help them develop the skills to do that.

Introducing technology to teenagers: My Substack Big Hug Guide

Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4920136/

Failure to Launch: Ken Rabow

https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/failure-to-launch-what-we-can-learn-from-struggling-young-adults-about-how-to-help-our-teens/

Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by Dr. John Ratey.

The Tech Exit book: https://www.sheldonpress.co.uk/titles/clare-morell/the-tech-exit/9781399828208/

Never Enough book: https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/about-never-enough

10-25: The Science of Motivating Young People: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motivation-how-to-motivate-your-teenager-and-why-blame-and-shame-doesnt-work/

Intrinsic Motivation and Positive Development: Reed Larson https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23259190/

Default Mode Network: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26168472/

Ned on TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@theothernedjohnson/video/7005943445646855429?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1&lang=en

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk