You’ve been trying to figure out what’s really going on in your relationship. You’ve wondered if it’s abusive, or if the two of you are just stuck in old patterns and emotional immaturity.

In this episode, I break down the key differences between dysfunction and abuse by looking at patterns of power, fear, and emotional regulation. I also walk you through five common signs that may point to something deeper than conflict, including intensity, volatility, and control dynamics.

You’ll hear personal stories, practical reflection questions, and the turning point that helped me understand my own past relationship more clearly. If this question has been weighing on you, this episode will give you clarity and direction.

If emotional immaturity feels like the core issue and you’re ready to work on it, you can book a free discovery call using THIS LINK. If safety is a concern, I’ve included trusted, trauma-informed resources HERE.

Right before hitting record, we got into an argument. The kind where we both felt misunderstood, defensive, and like the other was the problem. But, unlike in the past, we were able to work through it. That process is exactly what we want to share with you today.

In this real-time breakdown, we share how control shows up in subtle ways in marriage, even when you’re both trying your best. We talk about the tension between autonomy and attachment, the “no, unless” trap that often hides in people-pleasing, and how we each self-confronted to reconnect.

You’ll hear:

• What triggered the argument and how it spiraled
• The exact moment we hit reset and how we did it
• Scripts to move from defensiveness to collaboration
• Why true repair often starts with looking for what truth there is in your partners perception of you

If you’ve ever felt like one of you has to lose for the other to win, this episode will offer a new way forward. One built on mutual respect, honesty, and yes, a little messiness.

✨ Want to go deeper? Join us at our next Couples Retreat — April 23–25 in Bear Lake, Utah. Click HERE for more details.

We’ve all said it: “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” But are you actually living that truth in your relationships?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the essential difference between feeling an emotion and acting on it and why separating the two is at the core of emotional maturity. Whether it’s parenting or marriage, we often justify our reactions based on someone else’s actions. But that pattern erodes trust, safety, and connection.

We’ll talk about:

• Why emotional honesty isn’t an excuse to mistreat others
• How to apologize without justifying harmful behavior
• The subtle way we teach kids to manage our emotions (and how to break the cycle)
• What real emotional maturity looks like in action

If you're ready to stop passing emotional responsibility onto others and start breaking the patterns you were raised in, this one's for you.

✨ Looking for personal support? Book a Discovery Call using this link.