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Love Thy Neighbor Show

Love Thy Neighbor Show

By: Tom Vann Dan Dennis and Colette Fehr
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About this listen

 Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.2025 Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • LTN 12 - You Can Stay Home

    LTN 12 - You Can Stay Home
    Dec 18 2025

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    43 mins
  • LTN 11 - Communicate

    LTN 11 - Communicate
    Dec 11 2025

    • Holiday stress, polarized feelings, and relationship strain
    • Simplifying expectations and focusing on connection
    • Intentional family time and low-effort activities like games and puzzles
    • Screen overstimulation making simple activities feel boring
    • Relearning enjoyment away from devices
    • Emotional lift after spending real time with family
    • Effort required to engage in shared activities
    • Easy entry games and "adult parallel play" options like pottery, climbing, walking
    • Bonding without constant conversation; Florida weather enabling outdoor time
    • Casual family outings like parks, markets, and food halls
    • Scheduling pauses to avoid being consumed by chores
    • Rejecting holiday perfectionism in favor of meaningful moments
    • Memories shaped by shared experiences, not tasks
    • Traditions like driving to see Christmas lights; nostalgia for older displays
    • Local light events as simple holiday fun
    • Reducing pressure with easier meal choices and clearer communication
    • Asking guests what they want to talk about to spark genuine conversations
    • Choosing activities people actually want, honoring diverse traditions
    • Traveling for family obligations and maintaining positive ties with ex-in-laws
    • Modeling healthy relationships and blended family dynamics for kids
    • Showing kids that emotional expression is normal and healthy
    • Challenging traditional male conditioning around emotions
    • Using communication tools to balance expression with appropriate containment
    • Pausing to regulate emotions and "measure" their priority
    • Validating feelings as signals about needs
    • Exploring emotions with curiosity instead of fear
    • Humor and gambling used as contrasts for emotional decision-making
    • Childhood lack of control shaping adult emotional habits
    • Fear of being overwhelmed by emotions; learning they subside when felt
    • Many adults never learned safe emotional expression
    • Vulnerability deepening connection
    • Admitting stress in professional settings to create honesty
    • Using exaggerated emotion manipulatively in negotiations
    • Joke about trying to "mold" a partner rather than treating them as equal
    • Holiday romance movies creating unrealistic expectations
    • "Emotional pornography" and other idealized social-media extremes
    • Social comparison damaging self-worth
    • Listener email tease: feeling treated like a child instead of a teammate
    • Feeling infantilized by constant correction and nitpicking
    • Addressing issues individually with calm "I feel" statements
    • Partners often unaware they sound critical until told gently
    • Vulnerability inviting empathy and appreciation
    • Workplace analogy: problems persist without direct communication
    • Fear-driven assumptions blocking honest expression of needs
    • Wizard of Oz analogy: solutions simpler when people communicate
    • Clear, kind communication resolving issues more than expected
    • Promotion for The Cost of Quiet, including pre-orders, audiobook, VIP launch, and live podcast details

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    • Social Media: https://tomanddan.com | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive
• Where to Find the Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/
• Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/
• Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration
• Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/
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    45 mins
  • LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce

    LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce
    Dec 4 2025
    • Low-effort vs. high-effort Thanksgiving experiences • Colette's relaxed holiday without her kids • Daniel's stressful Thanksgiving towing multiple vehicles • Different family traditions and conflicting holiday desires • Two opposing feelings about an experience both being valid • Giants' struggles, game mishaps, and kicker issues • Annoyance at Kansas City's continued success and Cowboys rivalry • Social media comparison culture affecting relationships • Pressure from idealized online portrayals vs. real life • Comparison in the past (holiday cards) vs. constant modern exposure • Performative relationship presentation and couples divorcing despite appearing perfect • "Gray divorce" trend among people 50+ • Rising gray-divorce rates while overall divorce rates fall • Causes of gray divorce: growing apart, empty nest, long-term unhappiness • Women initiating most divorces due to increased independence • Less tolerance for unhealthy or abusive long-term relationships • Women leaving disconnected marriages after decades of misery • Some couples staying miserable for years • Personal gratitude for having healthier parental models • Possibility of fixing issues before reaching gray-divorce age • Older couples' grumpiness as an "act" rather than true misery • Enmeshment, codependency, and low-grade unhappiness in long marriages • Changing expectations around marriage and desire for deeper connection • Settling vs. actively improving a relationship • Negativity being easier than expressing affection • Relationships needing intentional effort and kindness • Debate of repairing a relationship vs. starting over • Mutual effort, communication, vulnerability, and appreciation • Recognizing when only one partner is doing the work • Personal growth as the first step toward repairing issues • Listener emails about empty-nester fears • Encouraging open conversations about the transition • Validating both excitement and fear as bonding opportunities • Joke about having another baby and related risks • Habitual lateness in friendships and dating • Whether chronic lateness can change • Lateness seen as inconsiderate and selfish • Emotional impact of others being late • Adults' responsibility to respect others' time • Predictable lateness patterns and communicating boundaries • Importance of notifying others when running late • Lateness signaling someone's time isn't valued • Anecdotes about partners who avoid being early • Intent vs. impact in lateness • Hurt caused by repeated lateness despite requests • Deciding whether to keep making plans with late people • Debate over giving slack vs. upholding values • Being on time as a personal identity • Using buffer time to stay punctual • Setting boundaries around lateness • Listener praise for the show • Question about poetry in modern dating • Party with an on-demand love-poem writer • Gay social events with creative entertainment • Fundraiser with themed performers in every room • Gay friends throwing more elaborate parties • Adults enjoying whimsical activities like face painting • Decline of poetry in dating • Nostalgia for romantic gestures like custom poems • Writing poems or symbolic gifts as romance • "Key to my heart" car-key gesture example • Romantic vulnerability appreciated when interest is mutual • Making a bound book of poems after divorce • Embarrassment over past over-the-top gestures • Feeling previous partners didn't value romantic efforts • Pulling back romantically after negative past experiences • Romantic gestures fading in long relationships but still meaningful • Listeners relating to giving up on effort after lack of appreciation • Love languages shaping what gestures matter • Suspicion of grand gestures when out of character • Big gifts perceived as guilt • Preference for small, thoughtful gestures • Bringing home garden flowers as simple affection • Tailoring gestures to the relationship • Thoughtfulness mattering more than format • Writing a poem for a partner after a parent's death • Partner framing the poem as a keepsake • Dark humor in personal writing • Acts of service like cleaning a partner's car • Love languages lacking scientific validation but still useful • Balancing effort across work, parenting, marriage, and self-care • Partner needs often neglected when overwhelmed • "Quiet quitting" relationships through emotional neglect • Disconnection leading to gray-divorce or roommate-style marriages • Value of small daily acts of presence • Five-minute check-ins to maintain connection • Quality time over quantity • Phones and mobile games interfering with relationships • Avoiding relationship effort similar to avoiding exercise • Small daily actions rebuilding habits and connection • "No time" as an excuse; micro-commitments help • Encouraging a few minutes of ...
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    46 mins
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