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Love Thy Neighbor Show

Love Thy Neighbor Show

By: Tom Vann Dan Dennis and Colette Fehr
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About this listen

 Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.2025 Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • LTN 6 - Colette VS Whatever

    LTN 6 - Colette VS Whatever
    Oct 30 2025
    • "Love Thy Neighbor" with Dan, Tom, and therapist Colette • Colette's California media tour for her book • Colette appears on the controversial "Whatever" podcast • "Whatever" framed as alpha/anti-woke male genre • Critique of toxic masculinity and "men under attack" tropes • Other shows mock/analyze these alpha podcasts • Past "Whatever" guests include Charlie Kirk, Candace Owens • Secretive taping: last-minute address, security, metal detector • Overloaded studio: 9–16 mics; strict mic rules enforced • Tom's old-school gripe: too many open mics • OnlyFans model spotlighted; show leans on visual appeal • Colette cast as the feminist voice on the panel • Her therapist stance: note rare valid points, reject nonsense • Rage-baiting for clicks; deliberate provocation • Dan learned rage-bait radio with Ed Till; ethical doubts • Colette dragged for going on four dates in one day • Chivalry debate: who pays and for how long • Defense of casual "coffee dates" amid app fatigue • Host claims chivalry burdens men while demanding submission • Child-support and dating-expectations attacks on Colette • Narrative: young white men victimized and owed obedience • Popularity driven by true fans, not just hate-listeners • Red-pill framing; younger male pushback culture • "80% of women want 20% of men" stat challenged • "666" trope (six figures/feet/inches) reactions • Men's anger tied to rejection vs personal responsibility • Politics baked in; red/blue pill props on set • Show prints money; Colette still gets online backlash • Preference for real help over grievance-weaponizing • Why the audience is large: loneliness and resentment • Claims denying wage gap/minimizing violence deemed absurd • Panel self-ratings; no "7" rule; some rate very low • Colette self-rates: 9 for her age; 6 vs 20-year-olds • '90s shock-jock comparisons without the wit • Colette vs Alex Stein's "confidence = sex bait" jab • Rebuttal: confidence from life experience, not sex hunting • Call-out of sexism tying older women's value to desirability • Hosts profit from outrage and controversy • Howard Stern contrast: provocative yet self-aware/comedic • Red-pill appeal to disillusioned young men explained • Empathy for average men squeezed by online ideals • Men judged to be tall/rich/successful; women also objectified • Apps amplify superficiality, comparison, and loneliness • Both genders warped by algorithmic expectations • Real attraction grows via shared humor and real-world contact • Screen time erodes social skills and confidence • Many alpha hosts read as insecure/inexperienced • Brian Atlas cited as projecting frustration • Submissiveness/obedience rejected as outdated • If chivalry demands submission, decline it • Strong women valued; confident men welcome equals • Hosts' wives as assertive, capable partners • Balance independence with care-taking; avoid dependency • Strong partners still want to feel cared for • Healthy dynamic = mutual giving and receiving • Is oppression of women ongoing? Colette: yes; others: no • Sex work: agency vs oppression debated • "Men must protect women" expectation questioned under equality • Traditional roles still shape modern instincts • Beliefs formed by societal conditioning and generation • Manners vs obligation: kindness without transaction • Some men now demand trades for gestures—criticized • Example: fake "submissive ex" video to sway viewers • Jealousy fueling resentment toward non-submissive partners • Submission vs genuine care distinguished • Acts should come from love, not hierarchy • Mutual care ≠ loss of voice; submission does • Colette jokes her husband might prefer more "traditional" • 1950s domestic role bit (slippers, whiskey, pipe) • Do men secretly want traditional again? Depends • Global and personal preferences vary widely • Respect for independent, confident women who lead • Relationships should rest on choice and mutual respect • Nostalgia for the 1950s called unrealistic, media-made • Real mid-century marriages weren't TV fantasies • Grandfather's orphanage/WWII story: hardship breeds empathy • Past resilience vs today's victim mindsets in men's movements • Relief that Colette's appearance ended safely • Plug: The Cost of Quiet — preorder info • Contact: ColetteJaneFair.com; anonymous questions welcome • Like/subscribe; plan to tackle listener emails next episode ### **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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    45 mins
  • LTN 5 - Outdated Relationship Myths

    LTN 5 - Outdated Relationship Myths
    Oct 23 2025

    • Introduction of "Love Thy Neighbor" with Colette Fehr
    • Discussion of recording schedule and Twitch/YouTube streams
    • Breakdown of seven relationship myths and modern realities
    • Myth 1: Compromise often means mutual loss—prioritize listening and connection
    • 69% of problems are unsolvable; focus on empathy, not victory
    • Use 1–10 scale to gauge partner priorities and set boundaries
    • Avoid people-pleasing; long-term avoidance kills authenticity
    • Myth 2: Open communication doesn't mean oversharing—filter strong emotions
    • Clarity before honesty prevents resentment and defensiveness
    • Humor and tone matter when giving feedback
    • Myth 3: Small stuff matters—minor hurts build into resentment
    • Direct, quick talks prevent emotional weight from piling up
    • Most therapy deals with small misunderstandings, not huge fights
    • Learn forgiveness; most conflicts come from misread intentions
    • Practice kind assertiveness—voice needs calmly and clearly
    • Myth 4: Intimacy doesn't fade—it evolves through vulnerability
    • Fear of rejection blocks sexual honesty; share fantasies openly
    • Timing and tone make difficult talks easier
    • Address libido issues with curiosity, therapy, and health focus
    • Recognize differing sexual rhythms and emotional needs
    • Maintaining novelty strengthens long-term desire
    • Myth 5: Chores or money don't break couples—disconnection does
    • Appreciation and communication outweigh perfection
    • Myth 6: Speaking up isn't conflict—it's clarity
    • Myth 7: "Never go to bed angry" is false—cool off before resolving
    • Emotional regulation and rest improve repair conversations
    • Promotion of Fehr's book *The Cost of Quiet* (colettejanefehr.com)
    • Invite listeners to email questions and subscribe for new episodes

    ###

    **Social Media:**
    [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive)

    **Where to Find the Show:**
    [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/)

    **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:**
    [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/)

    **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration)
    **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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    45 mins
  • LTN 4 - Navigating Breakups

    LTN 4 - Navigating Breakups
    Oct 16 2025
    • Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor and listener anonymity • Loveline-style approach to relationship advice • Divorce: emotional and financial toll, stigma, changing views • Hidden unhappiness in long marriages • Why people stay or leave relationships • Social media's impact on love, breakups, and jealousy • Deleting or keeping exes online; regret after erasing memories • Emotional recovery and boundaries with new partners • Growth through heartbreak and dating experience • Generational differences before social media • Keeping memories for children and history • Insecurity and jealousy over old photos • Attraction to emotionally intense partners • Insecurity and trauma behind jealousy • Communicating reassurance and setting boundaries • Humor about following exes or staying friends • Men vs women in post-breakup friendships • Breakups mirror grief and addiction withdrawal • Brain pain overlap: love loss and physical pain • Need for no contact and "starving the attachment" • Misleading social media images of exes' happiness • Healthy coping: self-focus, hobbies, support system • Negative coping: rebounds, substances, avoidance • All attachments heal with time and connection • Relationship addiction parallels substance abuse • Personal story: isolation from toxic partner • Learning from ignoring red flags, regret over choices • Should friends intervene in harmful relationships? • How to help: express care, respect, share concerns • Risks of judgment if couple reconciles • Listening over advice when friends struggle • Listener email: libido mismatch in marriage • Causes: stress, medication, trauma, poor communication • One-sided affection, avoidance of touch • Therapy access issues and long-term uncertainty • Common male-higher libido pattern • Start with honest talks about disconnection • Individual therapy helps but couples therapy better • Emotional reconnection boosts desire for many • Persistent mismatch may need other solutions • Women's desire often lower with age; explore intimacy variety • "Ways to cuddle" beyond sex; rebuild comfort • Cuddling linked to relationship satisfaction • Barriers: heat, bedding, menopause • Clarify touch doesn't always mean sex ("bristle effect") • Importance of nonsexual affection and lowered pressure • Humor about nonsexual touch confusion • Hormonal shifts and HRT improving libido • Testosterone's role in women's sexual well-being • Emotional intimacy key to lasting sexual health • Aging couples sustaining passion and connection • "Body count" topic and shifting language • Jealousy over partner's sexual past • Emotional maturity to separate past from present • Persistent double standards judging women • Younger generations less judgmental but stigma remains • Body count doesn't define worth or morality • Value of openness and health transparency • Honest STI testing, responsible dating culture • Infidelity experience shaping caution and honesty • Debate over privacy vs full disclosure • Acceptance that many don't know exact count • Reflection: honesty equals self-acceptance • Desire for unconditional love despite pasts • U.S. averages: women ~4–5, men ~6–7 partners • Surveys show exaggeration and underreporting • Cultural shame distorting sexual data • Past wild years unseen pre-social media • Misconceptions about others' sexual activity • Promotion of Colette Fehr's book The Cost of Quiet • Theme: tough talks build secure, lasting love • Reminder to email questions and subscribe ### **Social Media:** [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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    44 mins
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