Sexless Relationship Therapy Guide: How to Help Couples Restore Intimacy and Sexual Bond

Sexless marriages are far more common than most couples realise, and the impact is deeper than many therapists are trained to address.

In this episode, I break down why sex matters in long-term relationships, what’s driving the sharp rise in sexlessness, and how both therapists and couples can tackle it head-on.

This discussion is grounded in research, clinical experience, and the lived reality of countless couples.

If you’re a therapist, you’ll get a clear framework for addressing sexlessness in the therapy room. If you’re part of a couple, you’ll understand what’s really going on and what you can do to change it.

I’ll cover:

• Why sexlessness is rising so fast, and why that matters

• The emotional, relational, and cultural fallout of avoiding sex

• The narratives fuelling disconnection between men and women

• Common therapeutic blind spots and how to address them

• A practical framework to restore intimacy

• Why sex isn’t “just a bonus”, it’s a core emotional need, like trust or respect

Question for You: Do you think therapists and couples avoid talking honestly about sex? Share your thoughts — I’d love to hear your perspective.

References & Further Reading: Full blog post with citations: https://laurahow.com/sexless-marriage

Book a 1-to-1 session: https://laurahow.com/online-coaching

Therapists — Work with me: https://laurahow.com/work-for-me

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Chapters: 00:00 Introduction: The Sexless Marriage Crisis 00:41 Cultural Forces Driving Sexual Disconnection 02:03 The Power of Sexual Bonding 02:37 Why Sex Gets Ignored in Therapy 04:17 Statistics on Sexless Marriages 06:51 Trauma, Pain, and Safety Considerations 08:02 Is Sexlessness a Symptom or a Cause? 09:36 Key Questions to Assess the Sexual Dynamic 11:38 Willingness to Engage in Healing 12:41 Cultural Influences on Sex Between Men and Women 15:28 The Emotional Significance of Sex 18:00 Consequences of Sexual Neglect 19:51 Impact of Intimacy on Families and Children 20:53 Intentional Intimacy: Making Space for Connection 24:27 Barriers to Progress 27:45 Practical Strategies for Therapists

Tags: #SexlessMarriage #MarriageTherapy #RelationshipHelp #IntimacyInMarriage #MarriageAdvice #MensMentalHealth #CouplesTherapy

In this candid episode, I talk with Ralph Brewer—author, YouTuber, and founder of @DadStartingOver and @RealHelpForMen—for an eye-opening and deeply personal conversation about marriage, attachment styles and the realities of sexless marriages. BOOK A SESSION ▶▶▶https://laurahow.com/online-coaching-sessions/

🔥 TOPICS WE COVER:

• Ralph’s personal story of betrayal, divorce, and rebuilding

• Why so many men feel alone and anxious in modern relationships

• What really lies beneath the "dead bedroom" issue

• The avoidant/anxious dynamic that keeps couples stuck

• How unresolved childhood wounds shape our romantic choices

• Tips for men on how to prevent (or repair) a sexless marriage

• Why sex matters so much for emotional health and connection

• The role of therapy, boundaries, and hard conversations in healing

• The importance of modelling connection for our children

💡 Ralph’s Message to Men:

Sex is the symptom, not the cause. If you want to heal your relationship, you have to start by healing yourself. That journey starts with awareness, connection, and accountability.

🎁 BONUS FOR LISTENERS:

👉 Visit help4men.com/love for free resources:

• FREE Dead Bedroom Fix video course

• FREE eBook: The Dead Bedroom Fix

• Coaching discounts & access to Ralph’s private support group

📚 Ralph’s Book: The Dead Bedroom Fix - https://amzn.to/44T9B3p

💻 Ralph’s Platforms: DadStartingOver.com | Help4Men.com

Whether you’re fighting for your marriage or just trying to feel like yourself again, this is a space for real talk, real growth, and real love.

💬 Don’t forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE if you found this episode helpful. Your support helps us reach more people who need honest, heart-centered conversations about love, intimacy, and healing.

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🔗 Watch Next:

👉 The Sexless Marriage Anger Trap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN-9ra4AATs

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✔️ Long-term intimacy & communication

✔️ Building emotional strength & clarity

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🧠 Need help processing your emotions or reconnecting with your partner?

Book a 1-on-1 session: https://laurahow.com/online-coaching-sessions/

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💎 More Ways to Connect & Grow:

💠 Join Channel Membership: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE_Fs1wPifrghIGdSzsbrKg/join

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⌚️ Timestamps:

00:00 - Intro & Tech Issues

05:25 - Fatherhood & Modelling Love

21:07 - Childhood Trauma

27:32 - Fixing the Relationship

36:45 - The Dead Bedroom Fix

36:57 - Sex & Emotional Connection

46:08 - Ultimatums & Tough Decisions

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📌 Hashtags:

#SexlessMarriage #MarriageHelp #MensMentalHealth

We discuss emotional needs vs. sexual needs, why couples who have regular sex raise happy children, the lack of education about physical intimacy in marriage and why relationship counsellors aren’t addressing marital sex as a priority in therapy. BOOK A SESSION ▶▶▶https://laurahow.com/online-coaching-sessions/

Dr Samantha Whiten is a clinical psychologist in private practice, author, podcaster, wife and mother. Visit her group practice at BestLifebehavioralhealth.com and reach out to her at info@bestlifebehavioralhealth.com

Listen to her podcast The Dr Psych Mom Show here: https://open.spotify.com/show/2oUpweoWrPUke8QHLlafue?si=rhyke0U1TwSZwB0NgaIWNw

Facebook: Https://www.Facebook.com/drpsychmom

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@drpsychmom

Instagram: Https://www.Instagram.com/Dr.psychmom

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom

Threads: https://www.threads.net/@dr.psychmom

Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/drpsychmom1

Medium: https://medium.com/@DrPsychMom

X: https://x.com/DrPsychMom

Writing: drpsychmom.com

Books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B014MRIMKG

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Twitter → https://twitter.com/laurahow

▼ ⌚️Timestamps ▼

────────────

0:00 – 1:52 – Intro

1:52 – 8:47 - Why Sex is Important in Marriage

8:47 – 15:09 - Treating Each Other With Kindness

15:09 – 18:00 - Emotional Needs vs Sexual Needs

18:00 – 24:35 - Is Sex a Need?

24:35 – 27:13 - Marriage Counsellors Ignore Sex

27:13 – 30:15 - Menstrual Cycle

30:15 – 35:44 - Why are Sexless Marriages so Common?

35:44 – 46:06 - Selfishness in Marriages

46:06 – 48:17 - Advice for People in Sexless Marriages

48:17 – 50:50 Outro

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#marriage #couplestherapy #intimacy

How has culture & marriage changed? What does a moral marriage look like? When should you leave a sexless or otherwise immoral marriage? How can men and women live in harmony? BOOK A SESSION ▶▶▶https://laurahow.com/online-coaching-sessions/

Renowned Marriage Therapist, Rick McCarthy, shares his wisdom from almost 5 decades of experience as a marriage therapist and 28 years as a psychology professor.

In his new book “Restoring Marriage and Families: A Guide and Tools “In Order to Form a More Perfect Union” Rick McCarthy provides a compelling roadmap to reclaiming the vital institution of marriage and the nuclear family—the bedrock of every successful civilization in history. He explains how modern society has undermined these pillars and offers a practical plan to reverse this destructive trend, fostering hope and renewal for marriages, families, and communities.

Grab you copy here: https://amzn.to/45A4wxO

Rick’s Website: https://www.rickmccarthymft.com/

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Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/laurahow/

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Twitter → https://twitter.com/laurahow

▼ ⌚️Timestamps ▼

────────────

0:00 – 1:28 – Intro

1:28 – 7:45 - How Culture Has Changed

7:45 – 14:52 - Marriage Therapy as Crisis Management

14:52 – 24:08 – Where Marriages are Goin Wrong

24:08 – 34:41 - Handling a Sexless Marriage and When to Leave

34:41 – 42:03 – How Women Have Changed

42:03 – 46:22 - Women Need to Admire Men

46:22 – 50:11 – Restoring Values & Responsibility

50:11 – 1:03:46 - The Rise of Porn

1:03:46 – 1:07:24 – Maintaining Personal Integrity

1:07:24 – 1:08:34 - Outro

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#marriage #relationships #therapy

Dr Robert Glover discusses the root cause of ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’, co-dependency, fear of confrontation with women, self-growth in relationships, self-soothing, sexless marriages & advice for wives of ‘Nice Guys’. CHANNEL MEMBER PERKS ▶▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE_Fs1wPifrghIGdSzsbrKg/join

Dr. Robert Glover has over 40 years of professional experience as a relationship therapist and men’s coach. He specializes in helping men build community and level up to the best version of themselves. He has authored four books, including the bestselling No More Mr. Nice Guy. He founded Integration Nation, an international community for men in 2023.

Websites:

https://drglover.com

https://integrationnation.net/landing-page

Dr Glover on Social Media:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@drgloverofficial

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drgloverofficial

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▼▼▼BOOK A SESSION▼▼▼

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Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/laurahowcounsellor

Twitter → https://twitter.com/laurahow

▼ ⌚️Timestamps ▼

────────────

0:00 – 3:38 – Introduction

3:38 – 10:31 – What is a ‘Nice Guy’?

10:31 – 17:45 - The Origins Nice Guy Syndrome

17:45 – 19:51 - Faulty Roadmaps

19:52 – 22:43 - Co-dependency

22:43 – 27:55 - Differentiation

27:55 – 30:58 - Soft Men & ‘Simps’

30:58 – 32:57 - “Don’t Piss Off The Women”

32:57 – 36:24 - Female Readers

36:24 – 42:49 - Relationships as Growth Machines

42:49 – 57:36 - Self-Soothing

57:36 – 1:06:23 - Sexless Marriages

1:06:23 – 1:98:13 – Dealing with Haters

1:09:13 – 1:15:02 - Advice for Wives of Nice Guys

1:15:02 – 1:17:15 - Outro

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#niceguys #relationships #menshealth

Bettina Arndt promotes gender equity through advocacy for men and challenging anti-male feminist propaganda. She tours university campuses challenging illegal kangaroo courts adjudicating abuse. Here, we discuss sex starved marriages and misandry in society. BECOME A CHANNEL MEMBER ▶▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE_Fs1wPifrghIGdSzsbrKg/join

On today’s podcast, Bettina & I discuss:

• Sexless Marriages

• Feminism

• Female Expectations in Relationships

• Sexual Generosity in Marriage

• The Weaponisation of The Family Court System

You can find @bettinaarndtaus at:

Substack → https://bettinaarndt.substack.com/

Website → https://www.bettinaarndt.com.au

Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/thebettinaarndt

YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@bettinaarndtaus/videos

Join the fight against false accusations:

Mothers of Sons is a group of ordinary women whose sons have faced extraordinary ordeals in our unjust, anti-male legal systems and workplaces: https://mothersofsons.info/

▼▼▼BOOK A SESSION▼▼▼

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▼▼▼SUPPORT MY MISSION▼▼▼

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Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/laurahow/

Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/laurahowcounsellor

Twitter → https://twitter.com/laurahow

▼ ⌚️Timestamps ▼

────────────

0:00 – 1:57 – Introduction

1:57 – 3:32 - The Sex Diaries

3:32 – 7:26 - Why Are Men Treated So Badly?

7:26 – 10:11 – Is Feminism The Cause of Sexless Marriages?

10:11 – 15:19 - Women’s Unrealistic Expectations

15:19 – 20:28 - Rejected Men vs Women in Sexless Marriages

20:28 – 26:29 - Sexual Generosity ‘Just do It!’

26:29 – 30:38 - The Weaponisation of Family Courts

30:38 – 36:49 - Fighting Back

36:47 – 38:34 - Where to Find Bettina

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#marriage #menshealth #genderequality

My first podcast guess is George 'TheTinmen' who advocates for the less than popular side of gender equality; boy's and men's issues. He has a remarkable ability to present uncomfortable facts and ugly truths about the challenges' our boy's and men are facing in society. BECOME A CHANNEL MEMBER ▶▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE_Fs1wPifrghIGdSzsbrKg/join

Our recording platform decided to fail completely, just 30 minutes before our interview, so we made the decision to improvise rather than risk losing the opportunity to talk to George entirely.

I hope you can tolerate the dial up 90’s video quality (should be ok on a phone), because what follows is a wonderful conversation with George about how our are men are doing, what we might do to address the terrible truths about our school system, male loneliness, suicide and the fact that no-one really wants to talk about any of these important issues.

You can find @TheTinMenBlog at:

Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/thetinmen/

Reddit → https://www.reddit.com/user/TheTinMenBlog/

YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@TheTinMenBlog

Support George’s heroic work here: https://www.patreon.com/thetinmen

Here is the charity “Two Pints Deep” which George mentioned if you would like to support them: https://www.twopintsdeep.com/

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▼▼▼SUPPORT MY MISSION▼▼▼

https://laurahow.com/support/

▼FOLLOW ME▼

Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/laurahow/

Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/laurahowcounsellor

Twitter → https://twitter.com/laurahow

▼ ⌚️Timestamps ▼

────────────

0:00 – 1:15 – Introduction

1:15 – 8:06 – Why Do This?

8:06 – 11:08 - Why Don’t We Care About Men?

11:08 – 15:51 - Male Victims of Abuse

15:51 – 21:16 - Women Can Be ‘Bad’ Too

21:16 – 26:58 - Male Suicide & Public Awareness

26-58 - 34:45 - Lack of Support for Men & Boys

34:45 – 40:31 - Societal Disregard for Men

40:31 – 46:25 - How Can We Help Men?

46:25 – 55:35 - Can We Ask Women to Help?

56:35 – 58:18 - Outro

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#thetinmen #menshealth #genderequality