The fog of betrayal can be suffocating. After discovering sexual infidelity, many partners find themselves gasping for air, desperately trying to make sense of their new reality while constantly being pulled back into chaos by ongoing deception. This powerful episode explores the lifeline of healthy detachment - a misunderstood concept that proves essential for survival and healing.

Kim shares her personal journey of needing to create space from John's persistent lies and manipulation, not as punishment but as self-preservation. "I needed safety. I needed to be able to sleep. I needed to not be lied to for a day," she reveals with raw honesty. The conversation distinguishes between healthy detachment (creating temporary distance to heal) and unhealthy detachment (manipulative withdrawal or permanent disconnection).

John offers the rare perspective from the betrayer's side, admitting how terrifying the concept of "detachment" can be for someone struggling with abandonment fears. "I missed the word 'healthy' when you were doing these steps for your own sake," he confesses, providing valuable insight for couples navigating this delicate territory.

The episode delivers practical guidance for implementing healthy detachment through self-care activities, boundary setting, and surrendering the impossible task of controlling another person's choices. Kim emphasizes: "Forgiveness is for us. Acknowledging our pain is for us. Setting healthy boundaries is for us." This powerful framework helps betrayed partners reclaim their identity beyond the trauma.

Whether you're struggling to breathe through fresh betrayal or still carrying wounds from the past, this episode offers compassionate wisdom for finding solid ground when everything feels like quicksand. Connect with us at hurtmeetshealer.com to learn more about walking alongside others on the journey from hurt to healing.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

What does healing look like after decades of sexual addiction and betrayal? In this raw and vulnerable episode, we pull back the curtain on our own marriage journey, sharing our "State of the Union" after 36+ years together.

The transformation we've experienced in just the past few months feels almost miraculous. We recently took two international trips that would have previously been minefields of triggers and conflict. Instead, we discovered a level of emotional intimacy we'd never known before—proving that real change is possible even after years of devastating hurt.

John opens up about his breakthrough realization: that the intimacy he'd been desperately seeking through sexual addiction could actually be fulfilled through genuine connection, mutual care, and shared experiences. This shift represents years of hard-won growth and therapeutic work that's dramatically altered our relationship dynamics.

For those walking through betrayal trauma, Kim speaks directly to the most painful aspect—the lies. "It's the lying that hurt worse than your actual affair," she reveals, addressing both the betrayed and those keeping secrets. "The best gift you can give your spouse if you want reconciliation is to tell the truth." This message comes from someone who endured countless discovery days and trickle disclosures over many years.

We don't sugarcoat the journey. Trust rebuilding after decades of deception is an uphill climb. Kim describes herself as "hesitantly hopeful" while maintaining strong boundaries. Yet we're both experiencing our relationship at its healthiest point ever—proof that with professional help, commitment to truth, and the courage to face our deepest wounds, healing is possible.

Whether you're the betrayed partner seeking hope or the one who's caused harm and wants to change, this episode offers both compassion and challenge. Connect with us at hurtmeetshealer.com to continue the conversation and find resources for your own healing journey.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

Sexual betrayal shatters the sacred covenant of marriage, creating complex decisions about whether to stay or leave after such devastating violations of trust and commitment. We examine seven critical indicators that signal when leaving might be necessary while offering practical guidance for those navigating this painful journey.

• Ongoing or unrepentant infidelity makes relationships unsustainable, especially when the unfaithful spouse refuses to take responsibility
• Sexual betrayal often comes with emotional abuse such as gaslighting, manipulation, or shaming that creates unsafe environments
• Trust is marriage's bedrock, and when irreparably damaged, relationships may no longer be viable despite attempts at reconciliation
• Rebuilding after betrayal requires mutual commitment—if your spouse refuses counseling or transparency, they're unwilling to do necessary work
• Personal harm occurs when staying erodes your mental health, self-worth and spiritual well-being if pain remains unaddressed
• Violation of core values like fidelity requires knowing what you authentically believe so you can stay congruent with your boundaries
• Enabling destructive behavior through excuses or refusing to establish consequences allows harmful patterns to continue

Healing requires genuine remorse, complete transparency, professional support, and consistent effort over years—not weeks or months. If you're walking through betrayal trauma, reach out to us at www.hurtmeetshealer.com. We'd be honored to come alongside and guide you on your healing journey.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.