I Stopped Acting Out… So Why Do I Still Act Like a Jerk? (The Arrogance Trap in Recovery)

Sobriety stops the behavior, but does it actually make your partner feel safe? We go straight at the hard stuff: why pride can feel like progress, how “ego doping” keeps the reward system hooked, and what real humility looks like when the acting out ends but healing hasn’t begun. Kim and John unpack the difference between dry sobriety and meaningful recovery, naming the subtle dynamics that quietly wreck trust—minimizing, spiritual bypassing, scorekeeping, and defending intentions instead of owning impact.

We don’t stay theoretical. You’ll hear a practical path forward: a handwritten daily inventory that targets selfishness, fear, and dishonesty; direct amends for recovery behaviors like impatience and stonewalling; and a weekly ritual where you ask, “Where was I arrogant or insensitive this week?” and listen without defending. We talk about practicing being wrong on purpose, saying “I don’t know,” and building a support circle that tells you the truth instead of nodding along. You’ll also hear an anchoring question that reshapes the entire journey: if you stayed exactly as unhealed and proud as you are today, even while staying sober, would your partner feel safe and loved?

Rooted in faith and real-world recovery work, this conversation blends scripture’s call to humility with trauma-aware repair skills couples can use right away. Expect candor, tension, and hope as we map how humility becomes the engine of change—replacing ego with empathy and making room for trust to grow back. If you’re ready to trade pride for peace and sobriety for safety, press play and take the next honest step with us.

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Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
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