Episodes

  • The Friend Who Feels Excluded

    The Friend Who Feels Excluded
    May 28 2024
    [Watch this episode on YouTube] Today I'm answering two letters from our community about feeling excluded: one takes place in a wedding (bridesmaid stuff), another in a group chat. I also give the full backstory on the Reese Witherspoon story I shared on my Instagram (@afhayes) last week, and why that moment feels so important for me. Listen to my conversation on The Bright Side here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6tlanMiHjaYTFMk6bktrRj Timestamps: :00 - Introducing episode theme 1:12 - Why this episode is a little different 2:40 - The Bright Side podcast interview 3:28 - My fear of interviews 5:57 - The advice I gave myself before the interview 10:27 - Eating too much of a gummy 11:20 - REESE WITHERSPOON!!!! 13:10 - My break from TikTok 14:29 - The takeaway for all of us 16:49 - Bemused Bridesmaid: "My Friend Isn't a Bridesmaid and Feels Left Out" (Letter 1) 19:00 - My response to Bemused Bridesmaid 31:37 - Ousted: "My Friends Don't Respond to Me in the Group Chat" 33:33 - My response to Ousted 47:40 - Lonely: "My OG Besties Went on Vacation Without Me" 49:40 - Questions for YOU to answer in the YouTube comments!
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    51 mins
  • Why We Cry On Our Birthdays

    Why We Cry On Our Birthdays
    Mar 28 2024
    [video available on YouTube] Today on the pod I talk about turning 31 and unpack all the complicated and contradictory things I feel about my birthday. Then, around 15 minutes in, I do a rapid fire Q+A of some of YOUR questions about birthdays, including (but not limited to): Is it fair to expect my partner to throw me a birthday party? Why am I always disappointed even though I expect NOTHING on my birthday? How do you (me, Hayes) feel about physically aging? AND MORE! There's no longform Hello Hayes advice column this week, just the two of us chatting. I hope you enjoy the change of pace, it was nice to just sit and reflect with you. See you next time!
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    27 mins
  • A Conversation with Shame

    A Conversation with Shame
    Feb 13 2024
    In this episode, Hayes writes a letter to IMPENDING 50-YEAR-OLD-VIRGIN, who is in her mid-20s and feels embarrassed...about everything. We talk about shame and how to wrangle it, and model what a truly loving conversation with yourself feels like. Thanks for listening!
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    17 mins
  • Hayes Gets Advice From Happiness Expert (and Bestie) Stephanie Harrison

    Hayes Gets Advice From Happiness Expert (and Bestie) Stephanie Harrison
    Jan 30 2024
    This week on the show, for the very first time, Hayes sits down to get advice from her dear friend and author of NEW HAPPY, Stephanie Harrison. We talk about everything from how to support friends during a tough season of their life to Hayes's very personal (and hopefully relatable!) struggle with work. Pre-order Stephanie's book here. Follow The New Happy here. Follow Stephanie here.
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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • How to Handle Jealousy (and Envy) in Your Relationships

    How to Handle Jealousy (and Envy) in Your Relationships
    Jan 23 2024
    In this week's episode, Hayes dives into a subset of emotions we're usually too ashamed to talk about: jealousy. And envy. Because apparently they're two different things?? Up until last week, Hayes was using the words synonymously...but not anymore. Hayes gets personal in this episode, sharing her contradicting feelings about her 2020 wedding to how her relationship with "beauty" has evolved over time. We have letter writers, too, all in tough situations: First we have Third Wheel, who has concerns about her husband’s flirtatious friendship with a college friend. Then there's Aching Auntie, who isn't ready to have a baby herself...but feels jealous of her pregnant sister-in-law. And at the end we hear from Resentful Roommate. This one has a friend, also a roommate, who’s always been “the pretty one” of the group. Now that friend has what seems like the perfect boyfriend, and, our letter writer just can’t feel happy for her. Send your advice letters to hellohayesadvice@gmail.com Follow Hayes on Instagram and TikTok. Watch the episode on YouTube.
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    39 mins
  • Tough Conversations About Money

    Tough Conversations About Money
    Jan 16 2024
    Hello Hayeselnuts! In this week's (shorter) episode, we're talking about money. Specifically...how to handle sensitive, awkward, and sometimes painful conversations about it. Send your advice letters to hellohayesadvice@gmail.com Follow Hayes on Instagram and TikTok. Watch the episode on YouTube.
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    25 mins
  • Your Friendship Break-Up Survival Guide

    Your Friendship Break-Up Survival Guide
    Jan 9 2024
    [Video only on YouTube.] In this week's episode of Hello Hayes, we're talking about friendship break-ups: what leads to them, how we process them, and if we can prevent them from happening. Hayes explains the differences between friendship break-ups and friendship shifts, and why it's so important we understand the nuances of our feelings (and the situations that cause them!). Plus we set the record straight once and for all: friendship break-ups are just as painful and real as romantic ones. Send your advice letters to hellohayesadvice@gmail.com Follow Hayes on Instagram and TikTok. Watch the episode on YouTube.
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    1 hr and 4 mins
  • How to Feel Confident in Your Relationships (And Yourself)

    How to Feel Confident in Your Relationships (And Yourself)
    Jan 2 2024
    In the first episode of 2024, Hayes answers three advice column submissions about feeling inadequate. In the first letter, we hear from someone who has yet to find a lasting love…all the relationships ended amicably, but they can't help but wonder if there’s something wrong with them? In the second letter, a high school student notices a change in their friendships, and asks me: how do I stop comparing myself to other people and start putting effort into things that give effort back to me? And in the third letter, we hear from someone who is worried that jealousy will ruin their current relationship. They ask, how can I improve my self-esteem and stop living in the past? Send your advice letters to hellohayesadvice@gmail.com Follow Hayes on Instagram and TikTok. Watch the episode on YouTube.
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    50 mins