In this episode, Dr. Mark Ettensohn challenges one of the most persistent distortions in contemporary discourse on narcissism: the myth of “the narcissist.”

He explains how this cultural archetype, an image of coldness, cruelty, and manipulation, has eclipsed legitimate clinical understanding of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Drawing on both the peer-reviewed literature and his clinical experience, Dr. Ettensohn describes how terms like narcissistic abuse, covert narcissism, and narcissistic supply have come to dominate popular psychology despite lacking grounding in peer-reviewed research.

The episode explores how this narrative misleads clinicians, alienates patients, and perpetuates stigma, while offering a more accurate view of pathological narcissism as a defensive structure rooted in shame, vulnerability, and loss.

Dr. Ettensohn argues that it is time to discard the myth of “the narcissist” and replace it with a more compassionate, evidence-based understanding of NPD...one that recognizes both the pain it causes and the suffering it defends against.

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In-depth exploration of the DSM NPD construct: https://youtu.be/I2fD65wy48I

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This episode marks the beginning of a new educational series from Heal NPD, featuring Dr. Mark Ettensohn and his associates: Deanna Young, Psy.D. and Danté Spencer, MA.

This series offers a rare window into clinical reasoning and supervision, bringing viewers inside real discussions about theory, diagnosis, and treatment of personality pathology. In this first seminar, the group examines an influential paper by Pincus & Lukowitsky (2010) and explores one of the central challenges in the field: how to define pathological narcissism.

The conversation addresses the criterion problem surrounding narcissism. That is, the lack of a unified construct definition. It traces how this has led to conflicting models and measures of narcissism.

Topics include the distinction between pathological narcissism and NPD, the interplay of grandiosity and vulnerability, the overlap with depression and trauma, and emerging dimensional approaches to understanding personality.

This series is designed for clinicians, students, and anyone interested in a deeper and more integrative understanding of narcissism, personality, and self-regulation.

To learn more about our work, visit www.HealNPD.org

Citation for the article discussed: Pincus, A. L., & Lukowitsky, M. R. (2010). Pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 6, 421–446. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.clinpsy.121208.131215

Dr. Ettensohn reflects on the recent loss of his father.

Drawing on both clinical theory and personal experience, he explores how children internalize idealized images of caregivers as a source of safety and reassurance during times of vulnerability.

This episode examines how these idealizations can provide stability but also carry developmental costs if they are never gradually tempered by ordinary disappointments and the recognition of parental imperfection.

Dr. Ettensohn situates this dynamic within the broader context of self-psychology, showing how therapy can become a place where idealized projections are worked through and reclaimed in more realistic form.

With psychological nuance and openness, he shares how this process unfolded in his own relationship with his father, moving from idealization toward a fuller recognition of imperfection, accountability, and authentic connection.

The goal, as he frames it, is not to reject or diminish the idealized parent, but to integrate those images into a more grounded sense of self and relationship.

Purchase Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life here: https://amzn.to/3nG9FgH

LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/cklpum LISTEN ON GOOGLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/fotpca LISTEN ON AMAZON MUSIC: https://rb.gy/g4yzh8

VISIT THE WEBSITE: https://www.healnpd.org