I blinked, and I was in the middle of a nightmare I didn’t know how to wake up from...

I’ve been staring at the date on the calendar. Today is my mom’s birthday, or it would have been if she were still here.

I wasn’t going to talk about any of this yet. I didn’t know if I could keep it together long enough to get the words out. But my gut told me to do this now, even if my thoughts aren't perfect. Even if I can't keep it together long enough to get the words out.

In this episode, I’m sharing how my life was interrupted last August. I’m looking back at the things I missed—the small signs that she was struggling and the things she kept from me. I’m talking about the anger I feel, the what-ifs that keep me up at night, and the reality of becoming a caregiver almost overnight.

This is just the beginning of the story. I’m not sharing this because I am through the grief. I’m sharing it because this is exactly where I am. In themiddle of the ache that hasn't died.

In this episode I share:

The shock of realizing life is no longe r"normal." Why I’m still angry about the things she didn't tell me. The transition from daughter to caregiver. Dealing with the numbness and confusion of early grief.

Thank you for listening and for giving me the space to say these things out loud.

If you’re in the middle of something hard too, I hope you give yourself a little grace today. Even if all you can do is keep going.

Grace Lives Here is made from moments like this one. If your story connects to it, you’re part of it too.

You can reach me here: https://secondstorystudios.org

Or email me directly at: secondstorystudios.creative@gmail.com

Substack: Kris Sinclair Writes

When the person closest to you triggers the version of yourself you’ve worked so hard to leave behind, how do you find your way back?

In this deeply personal and unfiltered episode of Grace Lives Here, I’m stepping behind the mic from a place I usually try to hide. The "in-between." After a small comment escalated into a night of spiraling, self-doubt, and the temptation to "burn it all down," I’m exploring why progress feels so fragile and why we are so quick to question our worth when things get uncomfortable.

We often think we have to wait until we are past the chaos before we can share our story or help others. But today, I’m realizing that grace doesn't wait for the finished product.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The Unbecoming Process: Why healing is less about "becoming" and more about undoing the patterns that no longer serve us.

• Handling Triggers: How to navigate the "injury talking" when unguarded moments with loved ones make us feel small.

• The Power of Being Unfinished: Why it’s okay to offer light and hope even on the days you can’t see it clearly for yourself.

• Self-Blame vs. Responsibility: Learning to take ownership of our healing without falling into the trap of self-punishment.

If you’ve ever felt like walking away because you took one step forward and two steps back, this episode is for you. We are allowed to be works in progress. We are allowed to need time.

Because right here—in the middle of the undoing—is exactly where Grace lives.

Grace Lives Here is made from moments like this one. If your story connects to it, you’re part of it too.

You can reach me here: 👉 https://secondstorystudios.org

Or email me directly at: 👉 secondstorystudios.creative@gmail.com

— Kris

Episode 4: I Survived, But I Wasn’t Free Yet

We talk a lot about surviving hard things. We don’t talk nearly enough about what happens after.

In this episode of Grace Lives Here, I share what it looked like to survive a life-altering illness and realize that survival didn’t automatically mean peace. The danger had passed, but my body hadn’t gotten the message yet. We talk about panic, a nervous system stuck on high alert, and why you can look “fine” on the outside while still bracing for impact on the inside. I share what I didn’t understand then, what I’m learning now, and how listening to your body instead of fighting it can be the next step forward. This episode includes: What it means to live in the after of survival Why your body can stay on guard long after the threat is gone A simple, honest invitation to journal without fixing or forcing Gentle prompts to help you listen to what your nervous system has been carrying

If you’ve ever thought, I made it through… so why doesn’t it feel over? This conversation is for you. No pressure. No homework. Just space to breathe, listen, and begin again. Because this is where Grace lives.

If this episode resonated with you and you feel like sharing your story — even if you’re still right in the middle of it — I’d love to hear from you.

Grace Lives Here is a space for honest about healing, fear, and becoming the person you were meant to be. And that includes your voice.

You can reach me here: https://secondstorystudios.org Or email me directly at: secondstorystudios.creative@gmail.com — Kris

Why It Feels Like We Ruin Things When They Start to Go Right Grace Lives Here – Episode 3

Why does fear show up after things begin to feel better?

In this episode of Grace Lives Here, we talk about the part of healing no one prepares you for.

The moments after progress, when clarity arrives and your nervous system doesn’t know what to do with it yet.

I share a deeply personal story about a night when everything looked fine on the outside… and suddenly wasn’t on the inside.

We explore why anxiety, shame, and self-doubt often surface after growth, especially following trauma, chronic illness, or long seasons of survival.

This episode isn’t about self-sabotage or fixing yourself.

It’s about learning why fear can feel louder when life starts to open up, andhow writing became a place to tell the truth instead of running from it.

If you’ve ever thought, “I should feel better by now… so why don’t I?” This conversation is for you.

In this episode of Grace Lives Here, we explore why anxiety and fear often appear after progress, not just during the hardest moments. Drawing from lived experience, we talk about trauma recovery, nervous system regulation, shame, overthinking, and why clarity and purpose can feel unsettling after long periods of survival.

This episode discusses healing after illness, emotional regulation, self- doubt, journaling for self-awareness, and the misconception of self- sabotage. It’s a reflective conversation about learning to stay present with fear, understanding nervous system responses, and finding grace in moments of discomfort and change. Listeners who are navigating personal growth, trauma healing, anxiety, creative work, or identity shifts will find reassurance and connection here.

If this episode resonated with you and you feel like sharing your story, even if you’re still right in the middle of it, I’d love to hear from you.

Grace Lives Here is a space for honest conversations about healing, fear, and becoming the person you were meant to be. And that includes sharing your voice.

You can reach me here: https://secondstorystudios.org Or email me directly at: secondstorystudios.creative@gmail.com — Kris

In this episode of Grace Lives Here, I’m talking about what came after survival. After meningitis rewired my brain and took my voice with it. After years of learning how to function again. After caregiving, loss, exhaustion, and the quiet shame that can settle in when life is interrupted and you don’t recognize yourself anymore. This episode is about writing — not as productivity, not as publishing, and not as a cure — but as a way to stay. To listen. To make meaning in the middle of the mess. I share how journaling first helped me survive when my voice disappeared, how I later lost the practice when my writing turned outward and public, and how I recently found my way back to the page through a simple but powerful question: What would you write if you weren’t afraid? We talk about:  Writing as a way to process trauma, grief, and shame

 Losing your voice — literally and figuratively — and learning how to listen again  Caregiving, cognitive overload, and the pressure to keep everything together  Why not all survival looks intentional, healthy, or well- planned  How writing by hand can slow the mind and steady the nervous system  Beginning again without pressure, perfection, or performance This episode isn’t about fixing anything. It’s about finding a place to tell the truth — privately, imperfectly, and without apology. If you’ve ever felt the quiet pull to write… If you’ve been carrying things you don’t know how to say out loud yet… If you’re learning how to stay with yourself instead of disappearing… This space is for you. I also mention the book The Book of Alchemy by Suleika Jaouad, which I’ll link in the show notes for anyone who wants to explore journaling or creative practice further. Grace doesn’t always show up when things make sense. Sometimes it shows up right in the middle of the mess — in the becoming, the unraveling, and the small, brave act of putting words on a page. I’m here, sitting alongside you in the moments that change us, making meaning as we live them. Because this… this is where grace lives.

Resources mentioned in this episode: The Book of Alchemy by Suleika Jaouad https://a.co/d/bXvW2vF You can find the podcast, writing, and reflections at https://secondstorystudios.org

Email: secondstorystudios.creative@gmail.com

This is the first full episode of Grace Lives Here, and honestly, it still feels a little vulnerable to say that out loud.

In this episode, I share the story behind this podcast. Why it exists. Why it matters to me. And why it comes from a very different place than anything I’ve done before.

I talk about losing my voice in a very real way after surviving meningitis, how close I came to losing my life, and what it was like to rebuild myself when my brain and my words no longer worked together the way they used to. I share the fear, the self-doubt, and the lasting effects of trauma, along with how writing became the one place my thoughts could go when everything felt overwhelming and unsafe.This episode is not about having answers or offering a formula for healing. It is about telling the truth while still in the middle of things. It is about surviving experiences that leave a mark on your body, your voice, and your sense of self. And it is about making room for stories that are messy, unfinished, and deeply human.

If you are listening and you feel like you are still in the middle of your own story, still surviving parts of it and unsure how to move forward, you are welcome here. You do not need to be okay to listen. You just need to show up.

Next week, the podcast shifts into something lighter and more playful as I share the books, writing, and creative rituals that carried me through hard seasons.

Until then, remember that grace does not always show up when things make sense. Sometimes it shows up right in the middle of the mess.

Because this is where grace lives.

~ Kris

If you’d like to stay connected or explore more of this work, you can visit secondstorystudios.org. It’s where the podcast lives alongside my writing, projects, and what’s unfolding next.

What if the life you miss is the one you haven’t let yourself live yet?

That question has been sitting with me for a while. And honestly? This podcast exists because I waited. I kept telling myself I’d start when things felt clearer. When I felt more ready. When the fear quieted down a little.

But I’m not sure that moment ever actually comes.

So this is me choosing to begin anyway.

Grace Lives Here is a podcast I’m creating in real time, right in the middle of change, questions, and figuring things out as I go. I don’t have everything sorted, and I’m not trying to sound like I do. This is just an honest space to talk about faith, creativity, grief, growth, and what it looks like to come back to yourself after a season of survival.

Some days I’ll share reflections. Some days I’ll bring conversations and others' stories with me. Most days, I’ll probably admit I’m still learning.

If you’re tired. If you feel like something in you is asking for more room to breathe. If you’re craving change but don’t quite know what the next step is —

You don’t have to have it all figured out to be here. Neither do I.

Pull up a chair. Sit for a minute. This is where grace lives.

Because healing isn’t the end of the story, it’s simply where grace begins.

I’ve put everything in one place — the podcast, my writing, and the pieces of this journey I’m still figuring out — over at SecondStoryStudios.org. You’re always welcome to stop by.