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Tightening your circle, misalignment, outgrowing people, quality over quantity, discernment, friendships that no longer fit….the list goes on.

Oof! This was a tough one - tough to live and tough to write. Peer reviewed by fellow medical trauma survivors, this is our take on friendship after trauma. The reality of how friendships change after trauma, how to show up for a friend who’s gone through trauma, & how necessary friendship is to healing.

After medical trauma, everything changes…so why wouldn’t your friendships? That makes it sound really simple, but figuring friendship after trauma is like trying to solve a Rubix cube, if the Rubix cube had fourteen times as many small cubes as the original Rubix cube and also you were taming a lion while trying to solve said mega Rubix cube.

Not everyone survives your survival. Unfortunately, trauma shows you with “painful clarity” where you stand with every friendship in your life. Over the course of your healing, friends - both old and new - will come in and out.

It will start off very chaotic, intense, & drastic - and stay that way for a damn bit - but overtime, it smooths out. You attract people you are a vibrational match for, so while your vibes are figuring themselves out, so are your friendships. Growth is lonely before it’s aligned.

While some connections will expire, you’ll have the most pure chemistry with the new ones you make and the old, healthy ones you keep: safety. My recovery & healing has brought me to the most beautiful friendships that I never would have found sans coma. It strengthened & grew some existing friendships into the most pure love.

Even though this episode does provide the harsh reality, it’s also a tribute & ode to some of the most incredible people I’ve met and those that I’ve kept.

Win most, lose some

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Healing to live in harmony & balance, the lost art of listening, true inclusivity for all abilities

When Puerto Rican immigrant, Carlos Rodriguez, returned from Vietnam, he bravely chose to devote himself to a life of peace. Already an accomplished athlete, Carlos took up a study of Aikido that eventually led him to learning and then teaching golf.

A PGA pro, Carlos prioritizes his Four Corners foundation where he teaches golf (for free) to ALL veterans, including veterans with disabilities. Carlos insists he is a teacher, not a master, not a pro. He has no skin in the game, and his goal is only to listen & give back.

Veterans are an especially misunderstood group. With an intense trauma that usually can’t clearly be articulated, drugs are not the answer. Validation, listening, & golf is. Golf is a game that requires your body to be in perfect balance. Players only excel when their body & mind move in harmony. Success comes from peace.

As Carlos explains, caring within our society has become “fractured.” People have forgotten how to give to each other in a way that’s purely generous and the beauty that is simply sharing knowledge. We are too focussed on what separates us all and seem to have forgotten that we all came from the same place and are all going out the same door.

Carlos credits his family and his hispanic heritage for instilling in him this valiant truth that he seeks to spread.

PLAYING THROUGH - a new documentary about Carlos Rodriguez

youtube.com/watch?si=Dhe_bkFiUHC0UNNB&v=8T3CqA-oJ24&feature=youtu.be

Four Corners Veterans Foundation: https://fourcornersveteransfoundation.org/

Win most, lose some

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Identity, Re-Birth, Acceptance, Self-Transformation, Growth, Emotional Healing.

In this new series I’m doing ‘Identity After Trauma,’ I will be giving step by step guidance on the process of finding yourself again after the re-birth of you. Trauma changes you…forever. You can never go back to quite the same life or same way of navigating the world after your mentality has been altered by trauma, no matter how slight or major.

In Part 1 of this series, rebuilding identity, I give tips & tricks to finding this new, better version of you. Because that's the thing - trauma doesn’t have to provide a change for the worse. In fact, trauma can help you expedite & expand your personal evolution, but only if you choose to elevate your vibrations and lean into the good energy, instead of focusing on the bad.

But how do you do that? Listen and find out the route you need to take to embrace your more lit life, albeit different from the old one.

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

– Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Win most, lose some

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