Growing up without a stable foundation changes everything. For many of us who aged out of foster care, the “what if” questions don’t fade with time — they deepen. What if I had a home that felt safe? What if I had parents who protected me? What if I didn’t have to survive before I could dream?
In this episode of the Fostering AfterCare Podcast, Angie opens up about the grief that comes not only from loss, but from absence. Absence from what was never built in the first place. She reflects on moments when the past reemerged in adulthood: in motherhood, marriage, and milestones that brought both joy and pain.
Together, we’ll explore what it means to grow up without a blueprint, and how that lack of stability ripples into early adulthood. Angie shares personal stories of housing instability, fractured relationships, and rediscovering hope in faith and community. We’ll also unpack the data behind the experience; from homelessness and mental health challenges to the concept of “relational poverty” that is revealing the deeper cost of growing up without secure roots.
More than an exploration of grief, this episode is an invitation to healing. It’s about recognizing that while we can’t rewrite the beginning, we can rebuild the foundation with one act of faith, one relationship, one prayer at a time.
This conversation is for anyone who has ever carried the weight of “what if” after foster care, and for those who walk alongside them, helping turn survival stories into stories of restoration.
💭 What You’ll Hear in This Episode: -
Angie’s personal story of parental grief resurfacing in adulthood
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A story of housing loss and instability after aging out and how community support made a difference
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The heartbreaking reality: between 31–46% of youth who age out experience homelessness by age 26
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Why the absence of stable love, housing, and belonging makes adulthood harder to navigate
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The call to reimagine foster care as a healing ecosystem ; one that supports both youth and the adults who care for them
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A prayer and reflection for those grieving what never was but still daring to build what could be
🪞Reflection Questions: -
What “what if” questions do you still carry from your past?
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How do those questions show up in your life today; in your relationships, faith, or sense of belonging?
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If you support youth or adults with foster care experience, how can your consistency help transform grief into restoration?
🌿 Sponsor Spotlight This episode is sponsored by The Empty Frames Initiative, a nonprofit empowering orphaned and vulnerable youth as they transition out of care by providing life skills, community, counseling, and access to the Gospel. Learn more at fillingemptyframes.org.
📚 Resources & Links -
Connect with Angie on Instagram: @angelaquijadabanks
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Subscribe to The Cozy Glow Newsletter for behind-the-scenes reflections and cozy spiritual nourishment
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Explore I Am Success Workbook for guided tools on healing and identity restoration
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Learn more at AngelaQuijadaBanks.com
- What Happened to you ? (book)