Episodes

  • #128: The Nuts and Bolts of Martial Arts [Podcast]

    #128: The Nuts and Bolts of Martial Arts [Podcast]
    Dec 12 2025
    Welcome to Episode #128 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “The Nuts and Bolts of Martial Arts.” Will your martial arts techniques hold up under pressure… or will your skills break apart and leave you lying in a pool of tears? Here’s the thing—it’s easy to get the BIG things right in the martial arts, but what about the SMALL things? You know…those little details that actually make or break your success? (Is it possible that you don’t even know some of those small things exist?) The devil is in the details, my friend. If you want to be effective on offense or defense, you have to look deeper and deeper into the mechanics of your art. Figuring out how all the nuts and bolts are put together takes time. It also requires asking questions, observing others, practicing, and experimenting. The good news is that if you keep an open mind and stay curious, you will slowly collect the subtleties and nuances that will lead you to your best chance at success. Join me for a discussion on how to solidify your martial arts training. To LISTEN to “The Nuts and Bolts of Martial Arts,” just hit play below. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device.Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify. To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! The Nuts and Bolts of Martial Arts Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to comment (or complain!), feel free to leave a message here or through my Contact Page. TRANSCRIPT Today on Fight for a Happy Life, The Nuts and Bolts of Martial Arts. Howdy, Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to episode number 128 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. It’s been a little while, it’s great to see you again. Today, I want to talk about the nuts and bolts of martial arts, the nuts and bolts of self-defense. And, no, I’m not talking about kicking someone in the nuts and bolts. I’m talking about your training, your techniques, your habits. Are the components of your training, the assembly of what you do, strong and solid, will they hold up under pressure, offensively, defensively, or will it all break apart? The reason I want to talk about this is because of an incident that occurred to me a few years ago now. You might notice that in the background of some of my older videos, there’s a big red wall and four black heavy bags hanging up. Now I will tell you that that project made me very proud of myself. I’m not a mechanical guy, but I figured out how to get those bags put up on that wall, so it was a big deal. With the help of another Sensei, we drilled those boards into the brick wall. I found some wall mounts. We installed those. I had custom bags made, black leather, specific weight, and they came out great. They looked wonderful. And we hung them up. Kids of all ages loved hitting them. I loved hitting them. Other teachers loved hitting them. Adult students loved hitting them. It was a big success. That is until a couple of weeks went by. In the middle of a class, I’ve got some kids running a relay race, and a precious little girl went running down one of the rows, and she kicked the bag, she turns around, she starts leaving, and to my horror, the bag detached and just fell. BOOM! Thankfully, she was not hit, but I was in shock. Shut down the drill, got the kids away from the bags, finished the class, and then afterward, had to come over and face my failure, grabbed a step stool, and got up and took a look at the mechanism. Just like most heavy bags, the bag had a carabiner on it, the carabiner attached to a metal ring, the ring was attached to the wall mount with a bolt and a nut. Somehow, the nut had worked its way to the end of the threading and fallen off and let the whole bag go. So I figured, being not a super mechanical guy, Oh, I just didn’t tighten them enough when I first installed them. So cranked, cranked, cranked as much as I could, made them as tight as I possibly could, and thought, there, done deal, we’re okay now. Nope, nope. Couple weeks later, the same thing happened. A bag fell off. Again, thankfully, no one got hurt. But this time, I was really upset because I couldn’t figure out the problem. I hate that. So this time, I figured, well, it’s taken about two weeks for this to happen. This just needs to be a regular maintenance task. When you come in for the day, check the bags and see where the nuts are and tighten them up every day. I guess it’s just a design flaw in the wall mounts. That’s what I thought. But of course,...
    Show More Show Less
    18 mins
  • #127: Survival with Stephan Kesting [Video Podcast]

    #127: Survival with Stephan Kesting [Video Podcast]
    Mar 4 2025

    Welcome to Episode #127 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Survival with Stephan Kesting.”

    You might know Stephan Kesting from his impressive work as an online BJJ instructor. You may also remember him from our first interview together back in episode #62. But he’s far more than just an internet hotshot.

    Stephan is also a professional firefighter, founder of Grapplearts.com, host of the Strenuous Life podcast, outdoor adventurer, and now—with the publication of Perseverance: Life and Death in the Subarctic—an author.

    In this interview, I talk to Stephan about his grueling experience taking a 1,000 mile canoe trip through the great white north… ALONE! Our conversation touches on crucial topics for living a happy life, such as:

    • Setting priorities
    • Grit
    • Organization
    • Time Management
    • Solitude
    • Meditation

    Oh—and did I mention that Stephan’s survival tips have also been challenged by family tragedies, a kidney transplant, and a hip replacement? Believe me, the tips shared in this episode are the key components for survival on the mats, online, on a river, or in a fire.

    If you’d like to read the full account of Stephan’s solo adventure in the wild, here’s my Amazon affiliate link to buy the book: Perseverance: Life and Death in the Subarctic. Of course, supporting your local bookstores is cool, too!

    To LISTEN to “Survival with Stephan Kesting,” just hit play below.

    • Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device.
    • Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify.

    To WATCH the video version, scroll down below.

    If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you!

    Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released.

    Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life!

    Survival with Stephan Kesting

    Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link.

    As always, if you’d like to comment (or complain!), feel free to leave a message here or through my Contact Page.

    The post #127: Survival with Stephan Kesting [Video Podcast] appeared first on Sensei Ando.
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 7 mins
  • #126: Blind Spots in Martial Arts [Video Podcast]

    #126: Blind Spots in Martial Arts [Video Podcast]
    Feb 11 2025
    Welcome to Episode #126 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Blind Spots.” In case you didn’t notice, I’ve been wearing glasses for several years… but not anymore! I recently underwent eye surgery and am happy to report that I can now see better than ever! However, even with perfect vision, the fact is we can all have blind spots. We often see only what we WANT to see or only what we already know. Or maybe that’s just me? In this episode, I’d like to share what I’ve learned about vision and blind spots—both physical and psychological—and how they affect our success and happiness on the mats and off. To LISTEN to “Blind Spots,” just hit play below. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device.Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Spotify. To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! Blind Spots in Martial Arts Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to comment (or complain!), feel free to leave a message here or through my Contact Page. TRANSCRIPT Howdy, Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. Today, if you’re watching the video, you might notice—no more glasses! That’s right, for the first show in maybe six years, I am not wearing glasses. That’s because I am one month out from having a vision correction surgery. I’d like to tell you what I did and more importantly, what I’ve learned about vision and blind spots. So, backing up, I was born and raised with perfect vision, 20/20. In fact, most of my life, I’ve had perfect vision. But then somewhere around the age of 47 or 48, I noticed, as is natural, that I was having trouble reading. And then a couple years later, I was having some trouble driving. I even failed the DMV test, which was really embarrassing for me. I’d never had something in print, on the license, saying, “restricted license, must wear eyeglasses”. That hurt. So, at first, of course, I accepted it. I realized this is normal, right? The eyes start to go as you get older. But it didn’t take long before I hated it. Absolutely hated it. If you wear glasses, I’m sure you’re aware of this. My glasses were always lost or I was breaking them. Had to buy new ones all the time. I was walking around with two pairs of glasses, one for reading and one for distance. And I was always switching in between the two. And if I’m trying to just duck down, do little fix-it projects, they’re always falling off my head. It just got to be a nightmare. I hated it. Now, of course, if you’ve been wearing glasses your whole life, you’re probably more patient and more accustomed to it. But I was weak. I admit I was weak. It really got to me. So, a couple years ago, I started looking into LASIK because I had some friends and they got tired of hearing me whine about my eyes. And they said, “Well, why don’t you just get LASIK?” At first, that actually frightened me. Lasers in the eyes—I’m old school, that seemed crazy. But then, three months ago, I finally got the guts to go see a doctor for LASIK. He sat me down and he said, “Hey man, listen—I could give you the LASIK, but at your age, what you should get is cataract surgery.” Do I have cataracts? No, I don’t have cataracts. But if you get this surgery, you never will. So it’s something called RLE, refractive lens exchange. And that was the promise: If you get this surgery, within 24 hours, you’ll be able to drive back for your first follow-up appointment, and you won’t need glasses again. You’ll have close vision, intermediate vision, and far vision. Sounded too good to be true. But I did it. So a month ago, had the surgery, and sure enough, 24 hours later, drove myself to the follow-up appointment. I don’t like necessarily using the word miracle, but it’s a miracle. I have not worn glasses now in a month, for reading or for driving. So, if you’re interested in this kind of procedure, hit me up on email or in the comments, I’m more than happy to share some information on it. If you’re living in Los Angeles, I’m happy to refer you to the doctor who took care of me. It was definitely worth it. What lessons have I taken from this experience? Well, number one, don’t take anything for granted. I absolutely took my eyes for granted. I took my vision for granted for many, many years. And that was a crutch because I relied on them too much. I think it’s natural that we’re wired as human beings to be very hands and eyes focused, especially ...
    Show More Show Less
    24 mins
  • #125: How to Train Your Killer Instinct [Video Podcast]

    #125: How to Train Your Killer Instinct [Video Podcast]
    Jan 8 2025
    Welcome to Episode #125 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Killer Instinct.” Speed, power, and flexibility are all important, yes… but here’s the truth– They’re not enough! When it comes to surviving a real-life attack (or even just winning a tournament), you need killer instinct! You need to release your full fighting spirit! But here’s the problem… Most of us are “too nice”. Even though the essence of martial arts is a study of death, most of us would rather not train in such an extreme mindset. Unfortunately, that is exactly what makes good people vulnerable! So, let’s take a stroll back into the jungle and see if we can rekindle some of our primal power… before we get eaten alive! To LISTEN to “Killer Instinct,” just hit play below. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device.Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Google Podcasts or Spotify. To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! How to Train Your Killer Instinct Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page. TRANSCRIPT Howdy! Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to episode #125 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. Yes, I’m back. After a six-month hiatus–I didn’t plan it, it just happened– I’m back. But I’m even more thrilled that you stopped by to say hello. So welcome back to you too. Let’s go! What’s that? Oh, the sweater. Do you like that? I’ll explain that in a minute. But let’s start off today’s show talking about frustration. My frustration. Years and years of frustration. Why? Because I kept getting beat. No matter how hard I trained, no matter how much I studied, I feel that I was losing to people who trained far less than I did. People who took it far less seriously than I did. And I would go to my teachers after class in the dark shadows. And I would confess this. I would say, Listen, I’m working really hard here, but I’m getting beat. Everybody’s beating me. New people are beating me. Something’s wrong. And they were always very supportive. They’d say, No, no, you’re doing great. You’re a good student. But maybe you’re just being too nice. Too nice. I would argue with them. I would say, No, no, you don’t understand. In my head, I’m not being nice at all. Of course, I’m a nice person, so I’m training with safety and respect. But I really am trying to win a lot of the time. I have an ego. I have a temper. I have a competitive spirit. So I’m not giving anybody anything once the action starts. So, I would come back to the conclusion that I just need to practice harder. And practicing harder meant focusing on technical attributes. And it still wouldn’t be enough. Another six months would go by. Another year would go by. I would come back to my teacher and say, I’m still getting beat. Something’s wrong. And again, they would say, Maybe you’re just being too nice. I would say, No, I’m not being nice. And the cycle would continue over and over, for lo, these many years. So what really is the issue? What has been the problem for me, personally, which perhaps you can relate to? I believe it all came down to one thing. Killer instinct. I have figured out– maybe it took way too long– that developing a killer instinct is a skill of its own. You can focus all you want on speed and power, flexibility and mobility, pain tolerance, sensitivity. You can study as many books as you want, talk to as many teachers as you want to. Flow like water. None of it matters if you don’t have killer instinct to back it up. If you can’t finish a fight, then you’re finished. This is what I figured out. Now, that brings us to the sweater. Check out this sweater. This is getting me in the spirit of killer instinct. What do we got here? It’s a big cat, a panther, a predator, a meat eater. In the wild, clearly, you must have a killer instinct. Either you eat or you die. And that’s whether you eat a plant, kill a plant, or kill a fellow animal. It’s eat or be eaten. Now, in the last podcast, #124, the topic was to stop pulling your punches. And I argued six months ago that we need to push ourselves in training, to go to 100%. And I’m saying that wasn’t even deep enough. The language there wasn’t deep enough. In the last six months, I’ve only come to a doubling down on this theme. We must release our fighting spirit in its most primal execution, most primal expression. ...
    Show More Show Less
    27 mins
  • #124: Stop Pulling Your Punches [Video Podcast]

    #124: Stop Pulling Your Punches [Video Podcast]
    Jun 18 2024
    Welcome to Episode #124 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Stop Pulling Your Punches.” It might sound harsh, but most people are holding back… not just on the mats, but in every aspect of life. They’re NOT maximizing their efforts and, therefore, NOT maximizing their successes. (Yes, including me!) The question is WHY? Or is it? Maybe before asking why, I should ask if you even agree? Perhaps you believe you ARE giving 100%… even if you’re not. It’s a common misimpression. How does this happen? In this episode, let’s dig deep to figure out if we’re truly working towards our dreams or just going through the motions. Along the way, I hope you’ll discover there’s more power in you just waiting to be unleashed! Oh—two videos are mentioned in this episode. If you’d like to check them out, here are the links… One Tip for Powerful PunchesSelf-Defense Tip: Finish the Fight Okay—check out the show, then let’s get out there and start throwing some full power punches! To LISTEN to “Stop Pulling Your Punches,” just hit play below. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device.Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Google Podcasts or Spotify. To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! Stop Pulling Your Punches Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page. TRANSCRIPT Hello, and welcome to Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. I’m so glad you could stop by. Today, Stop Pulling Your Punches. The reason this topic is on my mind… The other day, I was working with a student, a young man, and we were throwing sidekicks on a bag. And he’s a hardworking student. He was sweating. He was giving it his all. He was pivoting well. He was kicking hard. But overall, I had to give him like a B+. This is not an A performance. Why? Well, the fact is that he wasn’t extending his leg all the way. The pivot wasn’t 100%. Sticking out that heel wasn’t 100%. And therefore, it wasn’t a complete kick. It wasn’t his full potential for a strong side kick. Now, this is not the first time that I’ve addressed this type of issue on the physical front. I have a video, I believe it’s called, One Tip for More Powerful Punches. In that video, I comment on the same phenomenon. When you see people set up in front of a heavy bag very often, they “short arm” their punches. They just kind of stand there and their hands are very active, but their torso is not. And so the tip very simply was to give yourself a little more space and try to extend that shoulder for a full punch. Now, of course, I’m not innocent. I am guilty of short arming my punches and kicks over the years. And in particular, when I started grappling, so 15 years ago, I remember I was rolling with my coach, and I was just happy to get good positions, get to a mount, get to his back. But if I got my arm around his neck to set up a choke, I’d let that go. If I got near an arm bar, I wouldn’t fight for it. When the round was over, I remember my coach being very frustrated. He looked at me and he said, What is this? A nice guy contest? Guilty again. Yes. I absolutely admit that physically, I was not finishing techniques. I was not in the hunt for the tap, for the win. Psychologically, of course, that’s the problem. I didn’t want to be a jerk. I was new to grappling. I certainly didn’t want to hurt him, because I didn’t know what I was doing necessarily. So I don’t want to hurt somebody. I’m out of control. I didn’t want to come off as too aggressive, or like I’m trying to win. I’d like to think that my ego is in check and I was just enjoying the learning experience. But at the same time, that doesn’t make me the best of sparring partners, because I am allowing falsity into the workout. The worst thing you can do for your partners is to give them a false sense of confidence, a false sense of skill, letting them think they earned an escape, when really you just gave up on the attack. So, yeah, I needed to make some adjustments to make sure I was being a good sparring partner, and to ensure that they would be good sparring partners back to me. I don’t want people short arming their punches or shortening their kicks, just to make me feel good. I need that honest feedback of for what’s working and what’s not. So overall, in a nutshell, if you have to leave early, the big advice today is stop ...
    Show More Show Less
    Less than 1 minute
  • #123: How to Build Courage in Martial Arts [Video Podcast]

    #123: How to Build Courage in Martial Arts [Video Podcast]
    Mar 19 2024
    Welcome to Episode #123 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “How to Build Courage in Martial Arts.” Many people worry that they won’t have the courage to fight back against a real-life attacker… and that includes martial arts students! It makes sense, really. You can build strong muscles and practice cool moves all day long, but when fear strikes, you might still find yourself curled up in a ball and frozen solid. Don’t let that happen to you! In this episode, I’ll share some tips to help you face your fears and build your courage… no matter what threats come your way. (Believe me—you’re not alone. I need these tips, too!) If you’d like even more advice on overcoming fear—particularly when sparring—check out this video: How to Reduce Fear in Sparring and Fighting. The good news is that you’re already brave… you’re already a fighter. Believe it! The big trick is simply not allowing anyone or anything to make you forget it. Okay—let’s get started! Let me know what you think! To LISTEN to “How to Build Courage in Martial Arts,” here’s the link. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device.Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Google Podcasts or Spotify. To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! How to Build Courage in Martial Arts Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page. TRANSCRIPT Hello, again! Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to episode #123 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. Great to be back on video, I’ve missed you. I’ve been busy training, been busy teaching, but I’m here now. And, if I’m going to be honest, feeling a little old. Let me tell you why. In the mail, I got this lovely note. Yes, and what does it say? It says, Andrew, because they really know me. Andrew, make a plan that celebrates your life. And who is this from? Why, it’s a cremation service. Yes, I’ve finally reached the age where there are officially people waiting for me to die. They can’t wait to burn my corpse. So now I’m walking outside every day, looking up, seeing if today’s the day. Are there any vultures? How bad do I look? Have I lost weight? Anyway, I keep this on my desk. I didn’t throw it out because it reminds me that life is short and life is crazy. Live while you can, my friend. If you have to leave the episode right now, that’s what you needed to know. So live. What I’d like to talk about, if you’re still going to hang around though, is courage. It takes courage to live in this world, doesn’t it? It takes courage to go after your goals. And it will certainly take courage to defend your life or to defend your goals if someone tries to stop you. I bring this up because I get this comment either through video reactions or through email quite often. Someone will write, Dear Sensei Ando, I am afraid that I won’t be brave enough to fight back if I’m ever attacked. I’m afraid that I don’t have the courage to stand up for myself. Whoa. All right. Let me make this simple, okay? And then maybe if you want to cut the episode short and you want to take off, okay. To me, this question is just missing one thing, context. There are incidents every day where people with no martial arts training defend themselves successfully. Could be multiple attackers, could be a weapon involved, but people who did not see trouble coming finding a way to survive, finding a way to win. And it’s not just in the world of self-defense. There are people who have been wiped out one way or the other and rebuilt their lives. Whether it was addiction and drugs, whether it was bankruptcy and financial ruin, whether it’s disease, the pandemic, whether their town was bombed in a war or invaded. Throughout history, human beings find ways to pull themselves back together and move forward. And if they can do it, I believe I can do it. And if I can do it, I believe you can do it. So the context here is situations that put us in emergency mode. Code red. When necessity is strong enough, you will fight. When desperation is high enough, you will find a way to fight back. That’s what I believe. In those moments of extreme crisis, your strengths will be revealed. And I believe you will overcome fear. I think fear is something we can just imagine when there is no crisis. So of course, it seems like we’re going to be overwhelmed. But you’re not giving yourself enough credit, my ...
    Show More Show Less
    28 mins
  • #122: Yin or Yang: A Tale of Two Black Belts [Video + Podcast]

    #122: Yin or Yang: A Tale of Two Black Belts [Video + Podcast]
    Jan 17 2024
    Welcome to Episode #122 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Yin or Yang: A Tale of Two Black Belts.” There are many paths to choose from in the martial arts… but how do you know if you’re on the right one? Wait—there’s actually an even bigger question to think about— Should you be following in someone’s else’s path at all? Don’t get me wrong—I’ve been blessed to train under several amazing teachers over the years, but the fact is they all believed in different things! One says do this, one says do that. As a student, it’s been confusing (and frustrating!) to seek advice from teachers I respect, only to receive concepts and tactics that completely contradict one another. I’ll bet that’s happened to you, too! So, in this episode, let’s see if there’s a greater wisdom hiding behind all of that well-meaning, but conflicting advice. Is it possible we’re not supposed to choose between Yin or Yang? Is it possible to walk a path that reconciles both? Check it out and let me know what you think! To LISTEN to “Yin or Yang: A Tale of Two Black Belts,” here’s a link. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device.Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Google Podcasts or Spotify. To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! Yin or Yang: A Tale of Two Black Belts Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page. TRANSCRIPT Howdy, Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. Welcome to episode #122 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. Now, last time, episode number 121, the theme was confidence. Self-defense is rooted in self-confidence, that was my claim. But where does confidence come from? The answer, I say, it should come from you. It shouldn’t come from a teacher. It shouldn’t come from a panel who votes for you. It shouldn’t come from a certificate. It should come from within. So today, I want to stick to that theme and give you another example of how I’ve come to this way of thinking. A Tale of Two Black Belts. Let me introduce you to two teachers that I have worked with. They don’t know each other. And I’m not going to share their names because, well, they didn’t ask to be dragged into this. So let me tell you about these two teachers. I think you’ll be amazed at how many similarities they share. I’m always amazed by it. First of all, both of these teachers are male. Okay, they’re both smaller gentlemen. They would never be the biggest person in the class. So let’s say they’re both around five foot six. Let’s say they’re always around 130, 135 pounds. No more. They’re also both about my age, so over 50. So right off the bat, that’s a lot of similarities. They’re also both good guys. They’re also both intelligent people. They are also both blessed with a good sense of humor. They’re also lifers. They’ve been training in the martial arts of one kind or another their entire lives. They’re also both grinders. They’re not lazy about it. They’re in great shape. They work at it. They’re compulsive about it. They also are teachers of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, but that’s not all. They also have instructor level status in multiple arts. They know how to hit and they know how to submit. Now, they’re also both professionals. I should say that they’re full timers. This isn’t something they used to do in their 20s or 30s. They’re still at it. So that’s a huge list of similarities. For two guys who have never met, never crossed paths, every time I work with either one of them, I’m always reminded of the other. The biggest difference between them, yes, there’s a difference, which always strikes me as odd, is that they don’t fight the same at all. And that always blows my mind. Because I keep thinking, man, you’re just like this other teacher I know, in every way except the reason that I seek you out. The way you fight. How can that be? They face the same problems, how to fight and defend themselves against people who are bigger and stronger. They have about the same tools. They have the same experiences. They’ve been on the mats about the same number of hours, let’s say. And yet, they’ve come to completely different solutions. And that blows my mind. So at the risk of oversimplifying, let me sum up how they fight in this way. One is Yin and one is Yang. Yin and Yang. One of them believes in attacking first, taking charge. They believe in getting in...
    Show More Show Less
    23 mins
  • #121: Hero Worship in the Martial Arts [Video + Podcast]

    #121: Hero Worship in the Martial Arts [Video + Podcast]
    Dec 12 2023
    Welcome to Episode #121 of the Fight for a Happy Life podcast, “Hero Worship in the Martial Arts.” We all need teachers and role models in the martial arts… but can following a leader become harmful at some point? Is it possible to show a teacher too much respect? YES! If we’re not careful, our humility as a student can be transformed into hero worship. Once that happens, it becomes impossible to maximize our skills and build true confidence. And without true confidence, your ability to defend yourself is greatly diminished. Be careful! It’s happened to me… don’t let it happen to you! In this episode, I’ll share a couple of stories that not only showed me the dangers of constantly seeking a teacher’s approval, but also helped me figure out how to train with a balance of humility and confidence. As a result, as you may know, I created and awarded myself my own black and white belt! 🙂 Here’s to healthy training habits and learning to become your own hero! To LISTEN to “Hero Worship,” here’s a link. Play the audio podcast below… or download to your device.Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Google Podcasts or Spotify. To WATCH the video version or READ the transcript, scroll down below. If you’d like to support this show, share the link with a friend or leave a quick review over on iTunes. Thank you! Oh—and don’t forget to sign up for free email updates so you can get new shows sent to your inbox the minute they’re released. Thanks for listening! Keep fighting for a happy life! Hero Worship in the Martial Arts Here’s a video of the podcast. If the player doesn’t work, you can click this direct link. As always, if you’d like to keep the conversation going, feel free to leave a comment here or through my Contact Page. TRANSCRIPT Welcome, my friend. Ando here from Happy Life Martial Arts. This is episode #121 of Fight for a Happy Life, the show that believes even a little martial arts makes life a whole lot better. Today, heroes, mentors, role models, teachers, we all have them in the martial arts and beyond. But when does following a leader become harmful? When does admiration transform into adulation? And when does adulation transform into idolization? Can you show too much respect for a teacher? When does respect transform into hero worship? Now, yes, I still have teachers. I still seek guidance. That’s what teachers are for. Teachers can inspire us to get started. Teachers can encourage us to keep going. And teachers can guide us to make sure we’re heading in the directions of our goals. That’s all good. But I find in the martial arts that oftentimes teachers are elevated into gods. They’re glorified. They’re deified. And I know this, of course, from my own personal feelings towards some teachers, particularly early on in my martial arts career. I also know this from listening and reading many interviews with martial artists, some famous, some not. And I also know it from different martial artists that I’ve spoken to in person. You’ll hear people make comments like, oh, I’ll never be as good as my teacher. Or they will describe their teacher in legendary terms. The stories that you hear are just incredible, unbelievable, often. They’ll say, oh, their skills. I still don’t understand how they could do what they did. It was almost magical. And very simply, it puts yourself, these stories, in a place of being nothing. Oh, compared to my teacher, I’m nothing. Now to all of that, I say stop it. Stop. Respect your teachers, of course. That’s not what I’m talking about. If a teacher changed your life, then of course you’re always going to have respect for them. Even a bad teacher. A bad teacher meaning maybe they cheated you in some way. Maybe you had a difference of opinion and it broke up the relationship. Maybe politics got in the way. There are lots of stories of people falling out with their teacher. But you still respect them. Because if they changed your life, you still carry that lesson with you. So, this isn’t about respect only. Respect is its own category. There’s a different topic to talk about though. And that’s just knowledge and skill. I’m asking today, can you be better than your teacher? Are you better right now than your teacher? Does that question come off as disrespectful right off the bat? I would say no. I would say no because learning is not a competition. Your teacher is on his or her own journey. They have their own stories to tell. You’re on your own journey. You have your own goals that may be different from your teacher’s goals. You certainly have different histories. You certainly have different training methodologies perhaps, or the amount of time that you can put into it. So you’re not on the same exact journey. So it’s not fair to compare them. So I ask again, are you right now better than your teacher at something? It doesn’t have to be everything. But can you find some qualities, some...
    Show More Show Less
    33 mins