Discovering you're Autistic or ADHD as an adult can turn your whole sense of self upside down. Navigating the emotional aftermath—wondering, "Am I still me?"—often brings up more questions than answers, and can feel both destabilizing and deeply transformative.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the post-diagnosis identity spiral that so many neurodivergent people encounter. They break down the emotional complexities of life after self-discovery or diagnosis, exploring questions of authenticity, the role of masking, the impact of imposter syndrome, and how claiming a neurodivergent identity can shift relationships, careers, and even self-advocacy.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Unpack how coming to terms with an Autism or ADHD diagnosis can impact your sense of self, relationships, career, and community—plus, get insight into navigating the uncertainty and self-doubt that often arise after discovery.
2. Learn why it’s common to experience imposter syndrome, emotional overwhelm, and a desire to "map" every experience to a diagnosis—and how to find reassurance and clarity in the midst of this complexity.
3. Hear Patrick and Megan Anna’s honest reflections on their own journeys, including how health events, career changes, and intersecting identities complicate (and enrich) the process of integrating a new neurodivergent identity.

If you’re asking yourself who you are after discovering you’re neurodivergent—or supporting someone through this kind of identity spiral—this episode offers validation, practical insights, and the reminder that you’re not alone on this journey.

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✨ Jane:

Jane is a practice management software and EMR that helps you balance caring for clients while growing your business. Co-founded by a multidisciplinary clinic owner and a developer with an eye for design, it’s built to fit the way that you work, supporting your practice as it grows and evolves.

Jane helps with day-to-day admin, like scheduling, documentation, and billing, so you can stay focused on the care you give. Jane was built with clients in mind, too. With online booking and secure online appointments (telehealth), your care stays accessible and easy to keep up with.

To learn more about Jane,

Discovering you’re ADHD later in life can be a profound and disorienting experience—especially when it means re-examining your relationships, identity, and even your sense of self. For many ADHD adults, the post-diagnosis journey brings unique challenges and unexpected waves of both relief and shame.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the post-discovery experience of ADHD, both independent of or including an Autism diagnosis, exploring how ADHD can impact self-perception, partnerships, and daily living. Drawing from their own stories and clinical expertise, Patrick and Megan Anna reflect on internalized ableism, common misconceptions, relationship dynamics, and the emotionally complex reality of integrating an Autistic and ADHD (AuDHD) identity.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Gain a compassionate, firsthand perspective on the emotional aftermath of discovering you’re ADHD as an adult—including how shame, self-acceptance, and relief can intermingle in unexpected ways.
2. Understand the nuanced impact of ADHD traits on relationships, from struggles with contentment and impulsivity to the important role of neurotype-informed partnership accommodations.
3. Hear honest discussion about the societal framing of ADHD and Autism for AuDHDers, internalized stigma, and the lifelong process of making peace with the challenging (and sometimes conflicting) aspects of a dual-neurotype identity.

If you’re navigating your own late-in-life ADHD discovery—or supporting someone who is—this episode offers insight, validation, and real talk about what it means to live and grow as an ADHD adult.

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✨ Landmark College Success Center

Landmark College Success Center, located in San Mateo, California, provides academic support, executive function coaching, and transition-to-college skills training for neurodiverse learners, both in-person and online. A subsidiary of Landmark College (

After discovering you’re Autistic or have ADHD, you most likely started to re-examine the past—and the realization of missed cues or misunderstood moments can bring up nostalgia, relief, and even regret. Revisiting friendships, relationships, and life events through a newly understood neurodivergent lens is often emotional but also essential for self-understanding.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the emotional journey that comes after Autism and ADHD discovery. They share how new self-knowledge reshapes memories, relationships, and the way they relate to themselves and others. Through candid stories about dating, friendships, family dynamics, and personal growth, Patrick and Megan Anna unpack the joys and heartaches of looking back, recontextualizing the past, and navigating big feelings that surface post-diagnosis.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Gain insight into the emotional rollercoaster many neurodivergent people experience after a new diagnosis or self-identification, including “aha” moments and the complex process of reframing past experiences with new understanding.
2. Hear personal stories about dating, friendship, and family dynamics that will resonate if you’ve ever wondered why life felt “off”—and how the right framework changes everything.
3. Find compassionate guidance on repairing relationships, managing nostalgia or regret, and embracing self-compassion during a sometimes messy process of self-discovery.

Whether you’re in the midst of self-discovery or supporting someone who is, this conversation brings real-life honesty and practical wisdom to a journey that can be both destabilizing and transformative.

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✨ Landmark College Success Center

Landmark College Success Center, located in San Mateo, California, provides academic support, executive function coaching, and transition-to-college skills training for neurodiverse learners, both in-person and online. A subsidiary of Landmark College (

Language matters, especially when it shapes how we, as neurodivergent people, are seen and understood. Conversations about an alleged "Autism epidemic" are everywhere—and can lead to misinformation, stigma, and feelings of shame for Autistic people and families. This episode aims to untangle the myths versus realities, providing crucial clarity and validation in a world full of loaded headlines.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the narrative that autism is an "epidemic" with Dr. Donna Henderson, an experienced neuropsychologist and co-author of Is This Autism? They discuss the real reasons behind the increasing rates of autism diagnosis, unpack harmful rhetoric, trace the shifting diagnostic criteria and historical context, and highlight what these changes mean for Autistic people today. The episode also offers insight into the lasting impact of stigma—and why representation and affirming conversation make a difference.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Gain accurate, research-driven explanations for rising Autism diagnosis rates—understand how changes in diagnostic tools, societal awareness, and self-identification impact the numbers, rather than believing harmful, epidemic-based narratives.
2. Learn how language like "epidemic" can shape public perception and personal identity, fueling unnecessary shame and fear, and creating barriers to self-understanding, safety, and acceptance for Autistic people.
3. Hear Dr. Donna Henderson’s expert insights and engaging stories, plus practical discussion about self-advocacy, changes in mental health fields, and the vital importance of community, representation, and historical context.

If you've encountered confusing headlines or faced questions about "what’s really going on with increased Autism discovery," this episode provides the clarity, validation, and nuanced perspective the neurodivergent community deserves.

More about Dr. Donna Henderson:

Dr. Donna Henderson has been a clinical psychologist for over 30 years. She is passionate about identifying and supporting autistic individuals, particularly those who camouflage, and she is co-author (with Drs. Sarah Wayland and Jamell White) of two books: Is This Autism? A guide for clinicians and everyone else and Is This Autism? A companion guide for diagnosing. Dr. Henderson’s professional home is The Stixrud Group in Silver Spring, Maryland, where she provides neuropsychological evaluations and consultations for children, adolescents, and adults who would like to understand themselves better. She is a sought-after lecturer on the less obvious presentations of autism, autistic girls and women, PDA, and on parenting children with complex profiles. She also provides case consultations and neurodiversity-affirmative training for other healthcare professionals.

• Dr. Donna Henderson's Website: drdonnahenderson.com
• You can grab Dr. Donna Henderson's books here: isthisautism.com
• Donna’s Trainings:
• Is This Autism? — Clinical Version
• Is This Autism? — For Everyone Else
• Dr. Neff’s article: Is Autism Really On the Rise:

Learning you’re Autistic or ADHD—whether through diagnosis, self-identification, or discovery—can spark relief, uncertainty, and a cascade of new questions. Navigating not only the process of finding out, but also what happens next, is a profound and often emotional journey for many neurodivergent adults.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the fundamentals of neurodivergent identity discovery, exploring how people come to understand themselves as Autistic, ADHD, or both. They provide an honest look at diagnosis versus self-identification, address language preferences, discuss personal pathways to discovery (including stories about parenting neurodivergent kids), and examine the practical, emotional, and systemic barriers to formal assessment. The conversation covers common starter-pack questions, the importance of community support during this process, accommodations, and the real-world pros and cons of disclosure in educational and workplace settings.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Gain clarity on the different routes to neurodivergent self-understanding—whether through formal diagnosis or self-identification—and the language that feels most affirming and inclusive for our community.
2. Understand the real barriers (waitlists, cost, systemic hurdles, stigma) involved in seeking a diagnosis, and get valuable advice if you’re considering assessment for yourself or a loved one.
3. Learn practical guidance for navigating disclosure, accommodations, and imposter syndrome, with candid stories and encouragement from both hosts’ personal and professional experiences.

If you’re exploring your neurodivergent identity or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validating insight, real-world advice, and affirmation that every journey is unique.

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✨ Landmark College Success Center

Landmark College Success Center, located in San Mateo, California, provides academic support, executive function coaching, and transition-to-college skills training for neurodiverse learners, both in-person...

Understanding the root causes behind Autistic burnout symptoms can feel confusing, especially when physical symptoms are present but dismissed or misunderstood. Many in the neurodivergent community face not only emotional exhaustion but a web of hidden medical conditions that often go undiagnosed, leaving them searching for seemingly elusive answers and support.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, are joined by Dr. Mel Houser, an Autistic physician and founder of All Brains Belong, as they discuss the intricate connections between Autistic burnout and underlying health issues like mitochondrial dysfunction, post-exertional malaise (PEM), dysautonomia, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), and mast cell activation. This discussion covers what happens on a cellular level during burnout, the importance of pacing and sensory adjustments, and why diagnostic overshadowing can be such a serious barrier to effective care. Dr. Houser also shares practical strategies, resources, and hopeful ways forward for those struggling with chronic fatigue, energy regulation, and co-occurring medical concerns.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Gain a deeper understanding of why Autistic burnout isn’t "just in your head"—this episode breaks down the science behind energy production, chronic illness, and how they intersect with neurodivergent experiences.
2. Discover pacing techniques, environmental adaptations, and supplements that may support recovery and energy management—plus get direct links to free resources designed specifically for neurodivergent adults.
3. Hear honest, validating conversation about grief, privilege, and agency while exploring what it really takes to honor energy access needs and navigate medical systems as an Autistic or ADHD adult.

If you or someone you care for battles constant exhaustion, brain fog, or unexplained physical symptoms, don’t miss this compassionate and practical conversation, and learn how Autistic burnout and chronic illness connect—and discover steps you can take to better support your body, brain, and well-being.

DISCLAIMER: This episode is not intended as medical advice.

More about Mel:

Dr. Mel Houser (she/they) is an Autistic family physician with a clinical focus on providing primary care for neurodivergent patients across the lifespan. She is the Founder and Executive Director of All Brains Belong VT, a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization in Montpelier, Vermont that uses universal design principles to provide neurodiversity-affirming medical care, social connection opportunities for all ages, and neurodiversity-related educational training. At age 37, Dr. Houser was diagnosed as autistic, ADHD, dyspraxic, dyslexic, and dyscalculic. She is also the parent of an autistic 6-year-old, who is her guru of so many keys to the universe.

• Website: allbrainsbelong.org
• Instagram: instagram.com/allbrainsbelongvt
• What the bleep can I eat?!: whatthebleepcanieat.com

All Brains Belong Resources:

• Everything is Connected to Everything: Improving the Healthcare of Autistic & ADHD Adults: allbrainsbelong.org/all-the-things
• Exploring ENERGY Equilibrium Strategies for Individuals who Experience Post Exertional Malaise (PEM) - allbrainsbelong.org/pem collab with Autism Level...

Advocating for your needs and setting boundaries as a neurodivergent person can be incredibly challenging—especially in environments that don’t always understand or prioritize accommodations for invisible disabilities. Navigating burnout and building a life that supports your well-being is not just about self-care; it’s about learning how to advocate for yourself in ways that are sustainable and affirming.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the nuanced process of seeking and setting up accommodations, practicing self-advocacy, and developing boundaries to prevent or recover from burnout. They explore both the practical strategies and deeper psychological hurdles involved—like the difficulty of taking your own needs seriously, the risk and complexity of self-disclosure, and the tricky transition away from people-pleasing patterns. They also discuss useful resources, including boundary scripts, strategies for partial self-disclosure, and the importance of community support, all woven together with personal anecdotes and real-life examples.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Discover pragmatic tools and resources for pursuing both formal and self-created accommodations in work, education, and personal life—including boundary scripts and practical self-disclosure tips tailored for neurodivergent needs.
2. Gain a deeper understanding of the emotional complexities that make self-advocacy and boundary-setting so hard, especially for those who have long relied on people-pleasing or have experienced invalidation and isolation.
3. Hear candid, relatable stories from two AuDHD clinicians that not only validate the challenges of living in a neurotypical world, but also offer hope, humor, and actionable support for building a burnout-resilient life.

If you’ve ever struggled to honor your needs or felt overwhelmed by the thought of advocating for yourself, this episode breaks down the barriers with compassion, lived experience, and expert guidance. Get real-world insights and encouragement to take your needs seriously and begin building a life that supports your neurodivergent identity.

Resources

• Neurodivergent Insights Autistic Masking Workbook: neurodivergentinsights.com/autistic-masking
• Neurodivergent Insights Resource on Autistic Burnout: neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources
• The Autistic Burnout Workbook by Dr. Megan Anna Neff: simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062
• Check out Neurodivergent Insights’ Library of Boundary Scripts (free resource)
•  Job Accommodations Network (JAN): askjan.org

Divergent Conversations Podcast Episodes:

• Episode 2: Autistic Burnout (divergentpod.com/2)
• Episode 47: Autistic Burnout (Part 2): A Deep Dive Into The Diversity of Burnout (

ADHD and Autistic burnout can feel like an endless cycle of overwhelm, exhaustion, and frustration—especially for those who live at the intersection of both identities. Many AuDHD individuals struggle to distinguish between ADHD burnout and autistic burnout, but understanding their overlap and unique challenges is crucial to finding compassionate, practical ways to support our mental health.

In this episode, Patrick Casale and Dr. Megan Anna Neff, two AuDHD mental health professionals, discuss the unique qualities of AuDHD burnout. They reflect on their own lived experiences, explore the differences and intersections between ADHD and Autistic burnout, discuss why traditional accommodations often fall short, and share insight on how burnout can lead to shame, depression, and executive function collapse. Through vulnerable storytelling, tangible metaphors, and thoughtful humor, they invite listeners to rethink both self-care and community support in navigating burnout.

Top 3 reasons to listen to the entire episode:

1. Gain clarity on the nuances between ADHD burnout, Autistic burnout, and their combined impact for AuDHD burnout—plus learn why academic literature often overlooks the lived reality of those with dual neurotypes.
2. Hear relatable and honest discussions about executive dysfunction, shame spirals, depression risk, and the paradox of needing energy to recover from exhaustion, especially within the context of daily life and work.
3. Take away practical frameworks and metaphors (including animal critter analogies and the “burnout city”) that offer new language for self-understanding, along with concrete ideas for future-proofing your life against burnout as an AuDHD individual.

If you’re navigating the relentless push-pull of ADHD and Autistic traits, or supporting someone who is, this conversation will help you feel seen and provide tools for building more resilient self-care. Listen now for validation, empathy, and practical insight on surviving—and even softening—the cycle of AuDHD burnout.

Resources

• Neurodivergent Insights Autistic Masking Workbook: neurodivergentinsights.com/autistic-masking
• Neurodivergent Insights Resource on Autistic Burnout: neurodivergentinsights.com/burnout-resources
• The Autistic Burnout Workbook by Dr. Megan Anna Neff: simonandschuster.com/books/The-Autistic-Burnout-Workbook/Megan-Anna-Neff/9781507223062
• Check out Neurodivergent Insights’ Library of Boundary Scripts (free resource)

Divergent Conversations Podcast Episodes:

• Episode 2: Autistic Burnout (divergentpod.com/2)
• Episode 47: Autistic Burnout (Part 2): A Deep Dive Into The Diversity of Burnout (divergentpod.com/47)

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