In this episode of Music Is Therapy, DJ Hesta Prynn sits down with Dan Savage — sex and relationship advice columnist, creator of the Savage Lovecast, and one of the most honest voices in love and relationships alive today — to talk about why "the one" is a myth, and what to do instead.

Hesta opens with the story of losing her entire CD collection on a plane. Every album. Gone. And instead of trying to rebuild what she had, she bought discount CDs, explored genres she'd never considered, and accidentally became a DJ.

The lesson? You don't find your taste. You build it. And relationships work exactly the same way.

But first, love.

In this episode, we dive into:

• There Is No "The One": Why the search for a perfect partner is the thing that's actually keeping you from a great relationship — and what Dan means by "rounding up" instead
• How to Revise Your Relationship Story Without Blowing It Up: The difference between editing a narrative and burning the whole thing down
• What Dan Got Wrong: About straight guys. About bisexuality. About asexuality. About the location of the clitoris. (He's honest. It's a lot.)
• A Good Long-Term Relationship Is a Myth Two People Create Together: Not something you stumble into — something you write, revise, and recommit to, daily
• Practical Advice for Online Dating: What actually works, what's a waste of time, and why most people are doing it wrong
• From Monogamous to Open to Poly: Dan's own relationship evolution — and what it taught him about what people actually need versus what they think they want
• How to Keep Monogamy Interesting: The honest conversation about long-term desire, and why "staying together" is not the same as thriving together
• The It Gets Better Project: What it's like to be Dan Savage — the weight of it, the reach of it, and what he's learned from two decades of being a lifeline
• His Love of Musicals: Yes, the man who hates the electric guitar is deeply, unironically obsessed with musical theater. Hesta has thoughts.
• The Electric Guitar Controversy: Dan hates it. Hesta will never forgive him. This is not resolved by the end of the episode.

This Episode Is For You If:

You've ever lain awake wondering if you're with the right person

You've felt that nagging fear that someone better is out there

You keep leaving relationships right before they could become something real

You've been waiting to feel certain before you fully commit

Monthly Playlist The Love and Happiness Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/07iyBQcQJtSw3PXw7i6S7t?si=a40a5a28e15c42ff

Featured Song:

I Want Your Sex Pts 1 & 2 - George Michael

https://open.spotify.com/track/6QnFHieoch6U9J8zfv6hml?si=f3ad4f44d2f04630

Connect with Dan Savage

• Instagram: @fakedansavage
• Podcast: Savage Lovecast

Connect with Hesta

• Instagram: @HestaPrynnMusic
• Substack: hestaprynn.substack.com
• Music Connection Therapy Course: mct.hestaprynn.com

Have a question you want DJ Hesta Prynn to answer? musicistherapypod@gmail.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if your phone is having an affair with you?

In this episode of Music Is Therapy, DJ Hesta Prynn sits down with Mark Groves — human connection specialist, founder of Create The Love, and host of the top-ranked Mark Groves Podcast (19M+ downloads) — to talk about why we’re all feeling so far apart, even when we’re physically together.

Fresh off sobbing through Hadestown — where Orpheus writes a song so beautiful it melts walls and reminds people they’re capable of love — Hesta asks:

Where is that song in 2026?

Why does everyone — including her — feel emotionally distant from the people they love?

Mark doesn’t sugarcoat it.

He breaks down exactly how social media mirrors abusive relationship dynamics, why healing can’t happen in isolation, and why the best thing you can do on a date might be leaving your phone at home.

This conversation is about presence. Choice. Attention. And what it actually means to show up — not once, but daily.

In this episode, we dive into:

• Social Media as Abusive Partner: How Instagram mirrors unhealthy relationship dynamics — nothing is ever enough, the algorithm is mysterious, and intermittent rewards keep you hooked
• The Phone as the Third Person: Why Mark leaves his phone at home on dates and takes one day a week using a Light Phone
• Instagram Sabbatical: Mark’s six-month break after asking, “I’m not an anxious person — so why do I have anxiety?”
• “Everything Must Be Healed in Relationship”: Why you can’t fix yourself alone and then bring perfection into partnership
• Insert Choice Where You Think There Is None: Mark’s challenging reframe on feeling stuck, resentful, or disconnected
• The Manipulation of Hooks: Why both of us refuse to build platforms on “Here are 5 things you NEED to know” urgency
• The Return to Analog: Vinyl, dumb phones, tactile experiences — and what they say about our craving for real presence
• Music as State-Shifter: From China by Tori Amos* to You've Got the Love by Florence and the Machine*, how the right song pulls you back into being human

This Episode Is For You If:

You’ve checked your phone instead of looking at your partner

You feel like you’re living parallel lives with someone you love

You’ve asked, “When did we stop being present?”

You suspect your anxiety might not be your personality

Monthly Playlist

The Love and Happiness Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/07iyBQcQJtSw3PXw7i6S7t?si=a40a5a28e15c42ff

Featured Songs:

"You've Got the Love" – Florence + The Machine: The song Hesta plays coming out of the subway to remember she's alive: https://open.spotify.com/track/6u9RqxALwkjJ1ukB1y8vuP?si=f419c15c78264f8e

"China" – Tori Amos: The teenage anthem about distance that still resonates 30 years later: https://open.spotify.com/track/08OXkYqqvhE7vjTzA9fVKk?si=705963cd1fac4a9b

"Hope" - NF: https://open.spotify.com/track/12cZWGf5ZgLcKubEW9mx5q?si=61e2a1eb2c944973

Connect with Mark Groves

• Instagram: @itsmarkgroves
• Podcast: Mark Groves Podcast
• Website: MarkGroves.com
• Book: Liberated Love (co-authored with Kylie McBeath)

Connect with Hesta

• Instagram: @HestaPrynnMusic
• Substack: hestaprynn.substack.com
• Music Connection Therapy Course: mct.hestaprynn.com
• Have a question you want DJ Hesta Prynn to answer? 📩 musicistherapypod@gmail.com

Got the song that melts walls in 2026? Send it to Hesta — maybe we can build it together.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Shift your state first. Then go find the person.

This episode is for anyone who’s swiping, spiraling, or wondering why dating feels so fucking hard right now.

Dating is usually discussed in terms of apps, algorithms, and luck. But we rarely talk about the state you’re in before you even start swiping—and how that state determines everything that comes next.

In this episode of Music Is Therapy, DJ Hesta Prynn sits down with dating expert Damona Hoffman to explore why dating has actually gotten worse (it’s not just you), and what to do about it. From pre-date playlists to the "three must-haves and one deal breaker" rule, Damona breaks down the strategies that actually work—including the one thing most people get wrong: looking for someone else to fix their mood instead of fixing it themselves first.

This conversation is practical, honest, and full of actual tools you can use today. It’s a reminder that dating isn't fate—it’s strategy, intention, and showing up in the right state.

If you’ve ever opened Hinge while feeling like shit and wondered why nothing worked out, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we dive into:

• The State Before the Swipe: Why swiping for a confidence hit is like grocery shopping while starving—you’re going to make bad choices.
• Pre-Date Playlists: Why you need a "hype track" and why Olivia Rodrigo is officially banned from your pre-game.
• The "Thank You" vs. "Dazed and Confused" Test: Are you looking for the soulmate or are you just stuck in the cycle?
• Three Must-Haves + One Deal Breaker: How to get clear on what you actually want (not what your mom or your friends want).
• Your Dates Are Too Long: Why 60–90 minutes is the sweet spot. No dinners, no marathons.
• Stop the Endless Texting: How to actually get from the app to IRL without losing the spark.
• Damona's Song: "Have It All" by Jason Mraz—and why healthy love sounds like wanting your partner to have everything.
• The Real Work: Why "F the Fairy Tale" means taking accountability for your own playlist.

This episode is sponsored by you not wasting another six months on someone who violates your deal breaker.

Monthly Playlist

The Love and Happiness Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/07iyBQcQJtSw3PXw7i6S7t?si=5323d4367303405e

Featured Song: "Thank You" – Led Zeppelin Howard Stern called it the most romantic song of all time. "If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you." The kind of love we’re all looking for.

Connect with Damona

• Website: damonahoffman.com
• Instagram: @damonahoffman
• Podcast: Dates & Mates (available everywhere)
• Book: F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story

Connect with Hesta

• Instagram: @hestaprynnmusic
• Substack: hestaprynn.substack.com
• Course: Music Connection Therapy

Have a question for the show? musicistherapypod@gmail.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.