In this episode of Music Is Therapy, DJ Hesta Prynn sits down with Dan Savage — sex and relationship advice columnist, creator of the Savage Lovecast, and one of the most honest voices in love and relationships alive today — to talk about why "the one" is a myth, and what to do instead.

Hesta opens with the story of losing her entire CD collection on a plane. Every album. Gone. And instead of trying to rebuild what she had, she bought discount CDs, explored genres she'd never considered, and accidentally became a DJ.

The lesson? You don't find your taste. You build it. And relationships work exactly the same way.

But first, love.

In this episode, we dive into:

• There Is No "The One": Why the search for a perfect partner is the thing that's actually keeping you from a great relationship — and what Dan means by "rounding up" instead
• How to Revise Your Relationship Story Without Blowing It Up: The difference between editing a narrative and burning the whole thing down
• What Dan Got Wrong: About straight guys. About bisexuality. About asexuality. About the location of the clitoris. (He's honest. It's a lot.)
• A Good Long-Term Relationship Is a Myth Two People Create Together: Not something you stumble into — something you write, revise, and recommit to, daily
• Practical Advice for Online Dating: What actually works, what's a waste of time, and why most people are doing it wrong
• From Monogamous to Open to Poly: Dan's own relationship evolution — and what it taught him about what people actually need versus what they think they want
• How to Keep Monogamy Interesting: The honest conversation about long-term desire, and why "staying together" is not the same as thriving together
• The It Gets Better Project: What it's like to be Dan Savage — the weight of it, the reach of it, and what he's learned from two decades of being a lifeline
• His Love of Musicals: Yes, the man who hates the electric guitar is deeply, unironically obsessed with musical theater. Hesta has thoughts.
• The Electric Guitar Controversy: Dan hates it. Hesta will never forgive him. This is not resolved by the end of the episode.

This Episode Is For You If:

You've ever lain awake wondering if you're with the right person

You've felt that nagging fear that someone better is out there

You keep leaving relationships right before they could become something real

You've been waiting to feel certain before you fully commit

Monthly Playlist The Love and Happiness Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/07iyBQcQJtSw3PXw7i6S7t?si=a40a5a28e15c42ff

Featured Song:

I Want Your Sex Pts 1 & 2 - George Michael

https://open.spotify.com/track/6QnFHieoch6U9J8zfv6hml?si=f3ad4f44d2f04630

Connect with Dan Savage

• Instagram: @fakedansavage
• Podcast: Savage Lovecast

Connect with Hesta

• Instagram: @HestaPrynnMusic
• Substack: hestaprynn.substack.com
• Music Connection Therapy Course: mct.hestaprynn.com

Have a question you want DJ Hesta Prynn to answer? musicistherapypod@gmail.com

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