Are you ever going to text me?

This episode is better like 5000 candles in the wind.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph put to rest the best funeral scenes in television and movies.

Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... human.

Eugoogoolizer. One who speaks at funerals.

Jason laments the death of his phone, especially when he needs a ride home.

Joseph was so moved by one funeral scene he had to went back to the theatre the next day to watch it again.

You're my boy, Blue!

HEY MOM! CAN WE GET SOME MEATLOAF?

Jim loves a Hulk in a suit.

Who died as so many young men of his generation before his time?

Which clown was "shelled" to death by a rogue elephant?

Are you ever going to text me?

This episode can’t keep time playing a tambourine.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph call out some of their favorite fictional musicians on television.

More obnoxious than night mowing; morning band practice!

Joseph gives lessons on the chord formations of Smelly Cat.

Jim pays tribute to the original television musician.

The Monkees are finally inducted into the CCR Hall of Fame.

Nightman… anyone remember? He played a sax and shot lasers from his eyes.

An amusement park that boasted the tallest escalator.

Jason gives thanks to Lucille Ball for all of his sci-fi crushes.

Mouse Rat.

How many more candles was Little Sebastian honored with over Princess Diana?

Which Brady really fits the suit?

Are you ever going to text me?

This episode offers a PSA for all of us older geezers.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph make a list of the biggest cinematic douchebags.

Trinitron television receives a shout-out from Jason.

Hans, Boobie. I'm your white knight.

James Spader, Dabney Coleman, and Robert Prescott all make it into the Douchebag Hall of Fame.

I haven't had a carb since 2004.

I work with retards.

Jason and Joseph agree that they are getting old and don't like change.

Jason offends all Frenchmen (again).

NO WIRE COATHANGERS!

Which bot receives "Douche of the Day"?

How did Chet not make it on the list?