Perimenopause libido dropping after 40? If sex feels different—lower desire, more dryness, shorter fuse, less connection—your hormones (not your relationship) may be the missing piece. In this episode of Ask a Sex Therapist, Heather Shannon talks with board-certified OB-GYN + functional/integrative hormone expert Dr. Tara Scott about the most common hormone shifts that impact women’s sex drive across postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause—and why women’s desire is often more “Goldilocks” than linear (too little or too much estrogen can cause problems).

You’ll learn how hormone testing can be interpreted when timing is right, why blood levels don’t always match what’s happening in your tissues, and how chronic stress can quietly deplete DHEA and testosterone (even in your 30s and 40s). Dr. Scott also breaks down practical, realistic ways to support hormone health—movement, food quality, sleep, stress tools, and reducing endocrine disruptors—without trying to overhaul your entire life overnight. If you’re dealing with low libido, vaginal dryness, painful sex, fatigue, sleep changes, or irritability, this conversation will help you understand what’s normal, what’s treatable, and how to advocate for better care.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Hormonal Health

01:22 Understanding Hormonal Shifts Throughout Life

03:41 Differences in Male and Female Libido

14:00 Personalizing Hormonal Treatment

28:46 The Impact of Lifestyle on Hormonal Balance

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Learn more about our guest Dr. Tara Scott at:

Website - https://drtarascott.com/

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@TaraScottMD

Effective this Friday, the show will be called "Sex For Couples" instead of "Ask A Sex Therapist." Make sure to follow the show so you don't lose it. This is to reflect who we are serving and the fact that the current format often tackles topics that are common for couples, but isn't necessarily focusing on answering questions posed to a sex therapist. So, just trying to be more accurate. FYI, we'll still do some listener Q & A episodes here and there! The artwork will be a bit different as well, but will use the same image of me.

If you want to see what the new artwork will look like, you can check out the YouTube channel. Click on "Playlists" to find the podcast feed.

Comment here if you have any thoughts or questions!

Summary

Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon explores the complexities of sexual awkwardness and the pressures that come with performance in intimate relationships. She discusses the importance of shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset regarding sexuality, emphasizing the need to connect with one's body rather than living in one's head. Heather also delves into the protective parts and wounds that can hinder sexual expression and the judgment that often accompanies feelings of inadequacy. The episode concludes with an announcement about the podcast's rebranding to 'Sex for Couples', aimed at helping individuals in committed relationships navigate their sexual lives with confidence and joy.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Awkwardness in Sexuality

02:38 The Pressure of Performance in Sex

05:17 Mindset Matters: Fixed vs. Growth

07:55 Living in Your Head vs. Your Body

10:55 The Impact of Past Experiences

19:06 Judgment and Authenticity in Sexuality

20:50 Podcast Transition: New Name and Focus

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Keywords

sexuality, sexual energy, performance anxiety, self-acceptance, growth mindset, intimacy, relationships, sexual confidence, body awareness, emotional healing