You've Been Blocked cover art

You've Been Blocked

The Search for Gay Male Perfection

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You've Been Blocked

By: Joseph Contorer
Narrated by: Joseph Contorer
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About this listen

You’ve Been Blocked: The Search for Gay Male Perfection is a provocative discussion exploring various ways gay men were restricted from their true selves. Many were fundamentally blocked after being raised to be straight boys, even though they are not.

In childhood, gay men commonly learn to take care of and “accommodate others” by repressing their true selves; instead of healthy development and self-respect, they seek external approval from parents, teachers, and peers, for example, for being something they are not. This results in serious consequences in the adult gay male community (GMC) where some will continue the pattern of seeking external approval from other gay men.

One dynamic supported by part of the GMC pertains to pursuing stringent, perfectionist qualities, also referred to here as the "M-Ranking." This is a valuation, which places a premium value on superficial, often seldomly obtainable aesthetic and materialistic qualities. One of the main sought after traits is being perceived as exceptionally “masculine” (or less/non-gay-acting) and looking visually superior.

Unblocking requires that gay men reclaim their option and their right to be their authentic true selves in all communities. Evolved, empowered gay men must independently define what it means to be internally satisfied.

©2025 Joseph Contorer (P)2025 Joseph Contorer
Gay Studies Gender Studies LGBTQ+ Studies Social Sciences
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