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You Wouldn't Be Dead for Quids
- Narrated by: Dino Marnika
- Series: Les Norton, Book 1
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Categories: Literature & Fiction, Humour & Satire
Non-member price: $32.25
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It isn't every day you help murder someone with poison in an illegal casino, whisk his body halfway across town in a Rolls Royce after robbing him, then bury his body in tonnes of concrete underneath an international airport - all more or less with the co-operation of two detectives. Les Norton is back in town! Trouble seems to follow Les like a blue heeler after a mob of sheep. Maybe it's his job - being a bouncer at the infamous and illegal Kelly Club in Kings Cross isn't exactly the stuff a quiet life is made of.
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Good book will be getting rest of series.
- By Anonymous User on 20-06-2018
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There's no two ways about Les Norton - the carrot-topped country boy who works as a bouncer at Sydney's top illegal casino. He's tough and he's mean. He's got a granite jaw, fists like hams, and they say the last time he took a tenner from his wallet Henry Lawson blinked at the light. Lethal but loyal, he's always good for a laugh. In this, the third collection of Les Norton adventures, Les gets his boss off the hook. But not without the help of the boy from Binjiwunyawunya. Les then finds himself in a spot of bother in Long Bay Gaol then in a lot more bother on a St. Kilda tram in Melbourne.
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Go Les
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The Godson
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Les thought that playing minder to Peregrine Normanhurst III sounded like a dead-set snack: Les would keep Peregrine out of trouble. So what if he was on the run from the IRA? They’d never follow him to Australia… But Les quickly finds himself thrust into an adventure that moves at breakneck speed from the corridors of power in Canberra to the grimy tenements of Belfast, to climax in a nerve-shattering, blood-spattered shoot out on a survivalist fortress in the Tweed Valley.
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Okay, so it looks like the Kelly Club is finally closing down - it had to happen sooner or later. And it isn’t as if Les Norton will starve. He has money snookered away, he owns his house, and his blue-chip investment - a block of flats in Randwick - must be worth a fortune by now. Except that the place is falling down, the council is reclaiming the land, there’s been a murder in Flat 5, and the tenants are the biggest bunch of misfits since the Manson family.
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White Shoes, White Lines and Blackie
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All Les Norton wanted was a quiet coffee and Sacher cake at the Hakoah Club in Bondi, and to be left alone to sort out his troubled love life. How he let notorious conman Kelvin Kramer talk him up to Surfers Paradise for five days, Les will never know. He went along expecting some relaxation in the sun, the chance to earn a little money, and possibly a little fresh romance. Les definitely got the earn. He certainly got the girl. But what Norton mainly got in Surfers Paradise was trouble. In a size 40 Double-D cup.
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They don't call him Lucky Les for nothing. A ticket in a raffle and Norton was off to the US of A, where it turned out hot, red hot, and it wasn't just the weather. Night club brawls, mafia hitmen, and too many girls called Lori, all in a sea of margaritas. Even for Les Norton, it was just too hot to handle. So it was off to the Caribbean, where Millwood Downie - schoolteacher, historian, and would-be stand-up comic - helps Les trace his family tree and possibly uncover the biggest earn ever.
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The worst book in the series? Hope not!
- By Anonymous User on 03-09-2020
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It isn't every day you help murder someone with poison in an illegal casino, whisk his body halfway across town in a Rolls Royce after robbing him, then bury his body in tonnes of concrete underneath an international airport - all more or less with the co-operation of two detectives. Les Norton is back in town! Trouble seems to follow Les like a blue heeler after a mob of sheep. Maybe it's his job - being a bouncer at the infamous and illegal Kelly Club in Kings Cross isn't exactly the stuff a quiet life is made of.
-
-
Good book will be getting rest of series.
- By Anonymous User on 20-06-2018
-
The Boys from Binjiwunyawunya
- By: Robert G. Barrett
- Narrated by: Dino Marnika
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- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There's no two ways about Les Norton - the carrot-topped country boy who works as a bouncer at Sydney's top illegal casino. He's tough and he's mean. He's got a granite jaw, fists like hams, and they say the last time he took a tenner from his wallet Henry Lawson blinked at the light. Lethal but loyal, he's always good for a laugh. In this, the third collection of Les Norton adventures, Les gets his boss off the hook. But not without the help of the boy from Binjiwunyawunya. Les then finds himself in a spot of bother in Long Bay Gaol then in a lot more bother on a St. Kilda tram in Melbourne.
-
-
Go Les
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Les thought that playing minder to Peregrine Normanhurst III sounded like a dead-set snack: Les would keep Peregrine out of trouble. So what if he was on the run from the IRA? They’d never follow him to Australia… But Les quickly finds himself thrust into an adventure that moves at breakneck speed from the corridors of power in Canberra to the grimy tenements of Belfast, to climax in a nerve-shattering, blood-spattered shoot out on a survivalist fortress in the Tweed Valley.
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Overall
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Okay, so it looks like the Kelly Club is finally closing down - it had to happen sooner or later. And it isn’t as if Les Norton will starve. He has money snookered away, he owns his house, and his blue-chip investment - a block of flats in Randwick - must be worth a fortune by now. Except that the place is falling down, the council is reclaiming the land, there’s been a murder in Flat 5, and the tenants are the biggest bunch of misfits since the Manson family.
-
White Shoes, White Lines and Blackie
- Les Norton, Book 6
- By: Robert G. Barrett
- Narrated by: Dino Marnika
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
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Overall
-
Performance
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All Les Norton wanted was a quiet coffee and Sacher cake at the Hakoah Club in Bondi, and to be left alone to sort out his troubled love life. How he let notorious conman Kelvin Kramer talk him up to Surfers Paradise for five days, Les will never know. He went along expecting some relaxation in the sun, the chance to earn a little money, and possibly a little fresh romance. Les definitely got the earn. He certainly got the girl. But what Norton mainly got in Surfers Paradise was trouble. In a size 40 Double-D cup.
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They don't call him Lucky Les for nothing. A ticket in a raffle and Norton was off to the US of A, where it turned out hot, red hot, and it wasn't just the weather. Night club brawls, mafia hitmen, and too many girls called Lori, all in a sea of margaritas. Even for Les Norton, it was just too hot to handle. So it was off to the Caribbean, where Millwood Downie - schoolteacher, historian, and would-be stand-up comic - helps Les trace his family tree and possibly uncover the biggest earn ever.
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The worst book in the series? Hope not!
- By Anonymous User on 03-09-2020
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Mele Kalikimaka Mr. Walker
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Norton's old friend turned out to be the biggest brothel owner in America. Madam to the stars. Through her, Les met Mitzi Moonkiss; he also met the Japanese Yakuza, lesbian geisha girls and every time he put his head out the door some boofhead US Marine was looking for a fight. And these were all the nice people. Somewhere in the middle a crazed serial killer was on the loose with a bayonet. Aloha, Les.
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Don't think robert g barrett can write a bad book
- By Joshua on 17-04-2015
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The Day of the Gecko
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Moving into his old flame Susie's flat in Bondi should have been a piece of cake for Les Norton - except that Price and Eddie had other ideas. There were two bodies buried under the handball courts at the Bondi baths. The man to get them out? Major Garrick Lewis, aka, The Gecko. With Norton for company, The Gecko literally took Bondi, and everything that went with it, in stride - Mossad hit squads, the KGB, ASIO, yobbo builders and loose women looking for action. And for once, Les is flat out keeping up.
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terrible
- By Maura on 04-03-2017
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Guns ‘N’ Rosè
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Norton needed a holiday - anywhere - as long as it was out of Bondi. Price was only too willing to oblige - Les could have his house at Terrigal. All he had to do was look after George Brennan's nephew for a week while he was there. Sounded okay to Norton, and it was better than spending his own money. Jimmy Rosewater was young, cool and the original brown-eyed handsome man. He loved good wine, going to restaurants, going line-dancing, and the ladies loved him. This suited Les nicely.
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Les Norton true legend from Robert Barrett
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Mystery Bay Blues
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Just when everything was going so good, Les slips a disc in his back. He can't run, he can't train. He can't do anything much. But he can still drive his car. So it's down to Narooma for the South Coast Blues Festival and a bit of R&R: 30 bands and three days and nights of non-stop rock 'n' roll. Which would have been great, only Les has to have a slight altercation with four fishermen on his first night in town. Now the toughest, meanest, most horrible bloke on the south coast is after his blood.
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a bloody ripper
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Mud Crab Boogie
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Look out Wagga Wagga. Les Norton's in town and he feels like dancing. Extreme Polo. The wildest game on water. That's what it said on TV. All Les had to do was drive down to Wagga Wagga for an old mate who owed him a favor, Neville (Nizegy) Nixon, and pick up the Murrumbidgee Mud Crabs.
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Goodoo Goodoo
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From FM radio to FN Queensland, Goodoo Goodoo is the latest Les Norton adventure. Robert G. Barrett shows again why he is Australia's biggest-selling contemporary author, a hit with both men and women readers.
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love the book
- By Anonymous User on 23-08-2018
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The Wind and the Monkey
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Performance
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Story
Robert G. Barrrett's latest Les Norton adventure, The Wind and the Monkey, set in Port Stephens, NSW, is a romance as well as an adventure - proving once again Barrett's enormous appeal to both men and women readers.
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Davo's Little Something
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All easy-going butcher Bob Davis wanted after his divorce was to get on with his job, have a few beers with his mates, and be left alone. But this was Sydney in the early Eighties-the beginnings of the AIDS epidemic, street gangs, gay bashings and murders. When a gang of skinheads bash Davo's old school- friend to death simply because he was gay, and leave Davo almost dead in an intensive care unit, they unleash a crazed killer onto the city streets.
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Not the usual action packed Robert Barrett story
- By Allister on 04-10-2019
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Leaving Bondi
- By: Robert G. Barrett
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Story
Les figured by tossing $50,000 into the Gull's movie he'd become the next Sam Goldwyn. Only someone put a bomb on the film set. And who gets the blame? Now Norton's a fugitive from the law, desperate to prove his innocence.
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Don't like the blokes reading the books voice
- By Joshua on 25-04-2015
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Rider on the Storm
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Robert G. Barrett is a master of political incorrectness. For more than a decade now, Robert G. Barrett has been entertaining Australians with the cocky Queenslander Les Norton and his outrageous exploits. In this collection, as well as more great Les Norton stories, Robert G. Barrett offers his views on getting published, getting famous, getting the dole and getting a date. Rider on the Storm and Other Bits is Les Norton at his worst and Robert G. Barrett at his best.
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Rosa-Marie's Baby
- By: Robert G Barrett
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- Unabridged
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Robert G Barrett's Rosa-Marie's Baby is action, romance, and intrigue with a diabolical twist. Set in Melbourne, Lorne and Apollo Bay, Victoria, it proves once again why Robert G Barrett is called the king of popular Australian fiction.
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High Noon in Nimbin
- By: Robert G. Barrett
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Story
Arranging the hit on Fabio was a low act, and Les knew it. And when you get Sydney's deadliest killer to do the hit, there's always a quid pro quo. In this case, Les had to take a trip to Nimbin to help an old army mate of Eddie Salita's open a bar, the Double L Ranch. Which suited Les, since he had to take his friend Tony Nathan to the waxhead wedding of the year at Bluey's Beach, and it was on the way. The waxhead wedding of the year turned into the ethnic brawl of the decade.
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3 stars. Voice too deep.
- By JBO on 27-07-2018
Publisher's Summary
Les Norton, a big red-headed country boy from Queensland, has just arrived in the big smoke and is set to make his mark. Working as a bouncer at an illegal casino in the Cross, Les encounters a number of fascinating characters who make up the seamier side of one of the most exciting cities in the world – gamblers, conmen, bookies, bouncers, hookers, and hit men, who ply their respective trades from the golden sands of Bondi to the tainted gutters of Kings Cross... usually on the wrong side of the law.
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What listeners say about You Wouldn't Be Dead for Quids
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- brett
- 19-08-2019
Cracker
Loved the book this great too.
Will get the next one. 15 words sucks. Yes
1 person found this helpful
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- Kiri Jackson
- 31-07-2019
A bloody good read! Get into it.
Great Aussie larrikin literature - superbly written and narrated. I haven’t laughed out loud over a book in ages. Fair dinkum.
1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 13-05-2019
bloody brilliant
this book is so funny I was laughing the whole time would recommend to my mates
1 person found this helpful
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- Rigzs
- 21-06-2017
great story
great story well read! laugh out loud funny! good old fashioned male aussie humour and slang
1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 14-05-2017
Brilliant!
Really enjoyed the first book in this series! Hanging to hear the rest :) Mr Wobbly
1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 09-02-2021
Les Norton
Loved it. Great storyline. Funny. Well read by narrator. You wouldn't be dead for quids.😁
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- Anonymous User
- 15-05-2020
Classic Aussie Tale
Robert G Barrett can RIP knowing that he wrote an aussie classic that had me on the floor pissing myself laughing looking forward to the next classic.
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- Anonymous User
- 15-01-2020
Should not have been re-released
This book is just awful. Simplistic storylines and narrative that excuse violence. The fact that this book was popular in the 80s says a lot about our society at the time. This book has no redeeming features.
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- Anonymous User
- 22-09-2019
Not sure I should have gone back
These books were great as a teenager in the 90's. Unfortunately they haven't aged well. Sexism, racism, unnecessary violence, and downright bad writing shine through. I feel for the narrator having to read these out loud.
There are still a few chuckles hidden here and there, but I don't think it was worth cringing through the rest to get to them.
Sorry Bobbie, I used to love these books.
1 person found this helpful
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- elizabeth
- 10-04-2017
A very funny listen!!
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes - Great aussie read - Every adventure has a charaacter that reminds you of someone.
What other book might you compare You Wouldn't Be Dead for Quids to, and why?
None
Have you listened to any of Dino Marnika’s other performances? How does this one compare?
First experience
Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Laughed so much
Any additional comments?
Thankyou Robbert G BArrett
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- Michaelmontague
- 30-10-2020
amazing
at the start of this book I was a small town texas guy. buy the end of it I was rooting and fuckN like a proper Queensland bloke.
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- Tracey
- 31-08-2014
norton
Would you listen to You Wouldn't Be Dead for Quids again? Why?
yes les norton is a character and you wouldn,t be dead for quids
What did you like best about this story?
nortons cunning way,s to scam people
Which character – as performed by Dino Marnika – was your favorite?
les norton
Who was the most memorable character of You Wouldn't Be Dead for Quids and why?
warren i think he is a little nieve
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- Gordon
- 29-10-2012
True Blue Aussie Humour
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes , real easy listening full of fun and great humour
What did you like best about this story?
so descriptive with every chapter
What does Dino Marnika bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
great voice
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
spend a quid and watch hell of a good flick
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- paul j boyd
- 27-01-2012
Skip this one
This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?
No one
Would you ever listen to anything by Robert G. Barrett again?
Absolutely not
Have you listened to any of Dino Marnika’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Hes very good
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
None
Any additional comments?
I am 3/4 through this book and still have not discovered a plot. No plot so the author has les beating people up , including Karate champions. Getting seduced by beautiful women. And letting his brothers dog kill and eat another dog. Oh and his brother eats a little also. I've read other les norton books and found them entertaining. But after this crap I won't be reading anymore. A refund is due me and any other person who bought this trash
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