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The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
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The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Dramatized Adaptation)
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: full cast, Christopher Walker, Nora Achrati, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Story
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night, Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world.
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utterly uninteresting
- By Joshua on 02-07-2021
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The Case of the Damaged Detective
- 5-Minute Sherlock, Book 1
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Carol Monda
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A dance club full of bodies. Cause of death - a mystery. The lone survivor - a man, raving like a lunatic, wearing only a deerstalker hat. Now, the man who calls himself Sherman Holmes is being studied like a lab rat by a top-secret government agency. How is it he can be barely clinging to reality one minute - yet be a seeming genius the next? Within his brain might just be the greatest scientific breakthrough of the millennium, if anyone can figure out how to access it. Enter the agent code named Watson.
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Love it - Watson & Holmes ver entertaining
- By Fiona Maxwell on 08-04-2021
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How to Survive a Unicorn
- By: L.G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Are you being attacked by a pissed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you. Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong. Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them.
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very lazy indeed
- By Amazon Customer on 04-03-2024
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Forging Hephaestus
- Villains' Code Series, Book 1
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 26 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Gifted with meta-human powers, Tori Rivas kept away from the limelight, preferring to work as a thief in the shadows. But when she's captured trying to rob a vault that belongs to a secret guild of villains, she's offered a hard choice: prove she has what it takes to join them or be eliminated. Apprenticed to one of the world's most powerful (and supposedly dead) villains, she is thrust into a strange world where the lines that divide superheroes and criminals are more complex than they seem.
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Must read
- By jessica on 17-02-2022
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NPCs
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
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D&D Love.
- By Amazon Customer on 27-01-2016
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Second Hand Curses
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Marc Vietor, Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When your fairy godmother threatens to enslave you with a curse - when a malevolent piper solves your rat problem but steals your children - when you seek revenge on the prince who turned you into a frog - who can you turn to in your hour of need? The band of scoundrels known far and wide as the Bastard Champions - the swashbuckling trio who travel a world of legend, seeking adventure and righting wrongs - as long as there's enough gold to be earned.
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A fun world with more to discover
- By Hymne Truter on 17-09-2022
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The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Dramatized Adaptation)
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: full cast, Christopher Walker, Nora Achrati, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night, Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world.
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utterly uninteresting
- By Joshua on 02-07-2021
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The Case of the Damaged Detective
- 5-Minute Sherlock, Book 1
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Carol Monda
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A dance club full of bodies. Cause of death - a mystery. The lone survivor - a man, raving like a lunatic, wearing only a deerstalker hat. Now, the man who calls himself Sherman Holmes is being studied like a lab rat by a top-secret government agency. How is it he can be barely clinging to reality one minute - yet be a seeming genius the next? Within his brain might just be the greatest scientific breakthrough of the millennium, if anyone can figure out how to access it. Enter the agent code named Watson.
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Love it - Watson & Holmes ver entertaining
- By Fiona Maxwell on 08-04-2021
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How to Survive a Unicorn
- By: L.G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Are you being attacked by a pissed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you. Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong. Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them.
-
-
very lazy indeed
- By Amazon Customer on 04-03-2024
-
Forging Hephaestus
- Villains' Code Series, Book 1
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 26 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gifted with meta-human powers, Tori Rivas kept away from the limelight, preferring to work as a thief in the shadows. But when she's captured trying to rob a vault that belongs to a secret guild of villains, she's offered a hard choice: prove she has what it takes to join them or be eliminated. Apprenticed to one of the world's most powerful (and supposedly dead) villains, she is thrust into a strange world where the lines that divide superheroes and criminals are more complex than they seem.
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Must read
- By jessica on 17-02-2022
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NPCs
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
-
-
D&D Love.
- By Amazon Customer on 27-01-2016
-
Second Hand Curses
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Marc Vietor, Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When your fairy godmother threatens to enslave you with a curse - when a malevolent piper solves your rat problem but steals your children - when you seek revenge on the prince who turned you into a frog - who can you turn to in your hour of need? The band of scoundrels known far and wide as the Bastard Champions - the swashbuckling trio who travel a world of legend, seeking adventure and righting wrongs - as long as there's enough gold to be earned.
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A fun world with more to discover
- By Hymne Truter on 17-09-2022
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Attempted Vampirism: Publisher's Pack
- Attempted Vampirism, Books 1-2
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 17 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.
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Interesting group of characters to adventure with!
- By Anonymous User on 21-02-2024
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A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
- By: T. Kingfisher
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter, and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance. But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries.
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A lovely story ruined by terrible narration
- By Anonymous User on 21-06-2023
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The House Witch: A Humorous Romantic Fantasy
- The House Witch, Book 1
- By: Delemhach
- Narrated by: Matthew Wolf
- Length: 17 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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When Finlay Ashowan joins the staff of the King and Queen of Daxaria, he’s an enigma. No one knows where he comes from or how he came to be where he is, which suits Fin just fine. He’s satisfied simply serving as the royal cook, keeping nosy passersby out of his kitchen, and concocting some truly uncanny meals. But Fin’s secret identity doesn’t stay hidden for long. After all, it’s not every day a house witch and his kitten familiar, Kraken, take to meddling in imperial affairs.
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Please Let There Be More…
- By Susan Roberts on 10-06-2023
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Silvers
- Quest Academy, Book 1
- By: Brian J. Nordon
- Narrated by: Daniel Wisniewski, Rebecca Woods
- Length: 20 hrs
- Unabridged
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Humans have been pushed to the brink of extinction by an ever-evolving demonic threat. Portals are opening faster than ever, Towers are bursting into the skies, and Dungeons are being mined below the last safe havens of society. The demons are winning. Quest Academy stands defiantly against them as a place to train the next generation of Heroes. The Guild Association is holding the line but is in dire need of new blood and the powerful abilities they could bring to the battlefront. To be the saviors that humanity needs, they need to surpass the limits of those that came before them.
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Best in category
- By David Begley on 08-11-2023
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Super Powereds: Year 1
- Super Powereds, Book 1
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Kyle McCarley
- Length: 26 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Knowledge is power. That would be the motto of Lander University, had it not been snatched up and used to death by others long before the school was founded. For while Lander offers a full range of courses to nearly all students, it also offers a small number of specialty classes to a very select few. Lander is home to the Hero Certification Program, a curriculum designed to develop students with superhuman capabilities, commonly known as Supers, into official Heroes.
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Great story...... He said.....
- By Gretta on 11-07-2016
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A Botanist's Guide to Parties and Poisons
- By: Kate Khavari
- Narrated by: Jodie Harris
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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London, 1923. Newly minted research assistant Saffron Everleigh is the first woman to hold the position at University College of London. When she attends a dinner party for the school, she expects to engage in conversations about the university's large expedition to the Amazon. What she doesn’t expect is for Mrs. Henry, one of the professors’ wives, to drop to the floor, poisoned by an unknown toxin. Dr. Maxwell, Saffron’s mentor, is the main suspect, and evidence quickly mounts.
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A solid frist in a series
- By Anonymous User on 06-03-2023
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The Princess of Potential
- A Humorous Romantic Fantasy
- By: Delemhach
- Narrated by: Matthew Wolf
- Length: 14 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
It’s been twenty years since Finlay Ashowan, the fabled house witch of Daxaria, first cooked up supernatural hijinks in the castle at Austice. Since then, much has changed: the royal family now resides elsewhere, a tentative peace has been established with Troivack, and the crown princess, Alina, is ready to pick the perfect nobleman to be her husband. But Alina’s quest for her ideal consort is proving rather difficult.
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An easy listen that’s comfortable and enjoyable
- By Jessica on 19-07-2023
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The Burning Witch
- The Burning Witch, Book 1
- By: Delemhach
- Narrated by: Matthew Wolf
- Length: 14 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Katarina Ashowan was not made for courtly life. Sure, her father is the famous house witch of Daxaria so she was raised among majestic castles, proper manners, and royal expectations. But Kat is also a mutated witch whose power aligns predominantly with fire. She’s more comfortable riding horses or learning to fight than she is making polite conversation and wearing fancy dresses. Which is why her upcoming assignment—serving her best friend, Alina, the soon-to-be crowned Troivackian queen—is anything but ideal.
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I'm in love with this author/s
- By Kindle Customer on 11-02-2024
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24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack
- Books 1-2
- By: D.M. Guay
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.
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interesting and fun
- By Gemma Bartlett on 25-09-2023
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Iron Prince
- Warformed: Stormweaver, Book 1
- By: Bryce O'Connor, Luke Chmilenko
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 33 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Reidon Ward will become a god. He doesn't know it yet, of course. Reidon was born weak, sickly, and small. Afflicted with a painful disease and abandoned by his parents because of it, he has had to fight tooth and nail for every minor advantage life has allowed him. However, his perseverance has not gone unnoticed, and when the most powerful artificial intelligence in human history takes an interest in him, things began to change quickly.
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Streetfighter meets Harry Potter
- By The Keyboard on 05-05-2021
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Amazon Apocalypse
- By: Marvin Knight
- Narrated by: Jack Douglas, Jessica Threet
- Length: 20 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up, she was the girl down the street. Even then, I knew she was different. She was tough, rough, and had the strength to stop a speeding car with her bare hands. We were as thick as thieves, sharing every adventure. Then one day she revealed a secret. She wasn't from Earth. She was from a distant place called the Arcadia Multiverse. Her people lived under the rule of a god-like entity known as the System. That System had its gaze fixed on Earth. And it was only a matter of time before it came for us.
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Good book, but please fix the audio levels.
- By John Gratton on 07-02-2024
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This Book Is Full of Spiders
- Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It (John Dies at the End, Book 2)
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 14 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. This is not a metaphor. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fearmongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fearmongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection - the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That’s just as well, since the “cure” involves learning what a chain saw tastes like. You can’t feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings.
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a stoner flick book
- By clare et.al on 13-04-2016
Publisher's Summary
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one.
Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world: a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive". Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.
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What listeners say about The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- madeline
- 20-01-2017
Ok
It's ok, a bit predictable and repetitive
Only "strong" female Character has no real development and is just a "prize" for the main character and is only "strong" to make her a a better prize
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4 people found this helpful
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- Vampuric
- 22-12-2017
Vampire accountant need I say more?
Having prior 'read' NPC's by the same author I had high hopes going in and this did not fail those. The story is easy to pick up at any point in the series and is great right through. Portraying the main character, Fred is such a normal light while himself pointing out the obvious differnces feels fun and in good humour.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jonathan Crane
- 19-01-2017
fantastic series of short stories
love the idea, I was kind of sceptical going in now I really love it. will be recommending this one to mates
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2 people found this helpful
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- Erin
- 20-02-2024
would make a good sitcom
it wasn't too bad and a good fun listen. Not over sophisticated so it doesn't involved thinking too hard which was good.
I would recommend for a fun easy listen bit don't expect too much.
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- bex
- 16-01-2024
its giving misogyny
the internal thoughts of this character are borderline creepy at some points. the plot lines were obvious tired tropes. DNF
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- Henrietta Podgorska
- 01-07-2023
The narrator carries the story
I am really not sure why people say this book is amazing. The only amazing thing about it is the narration which is 5 stars. The story writing on the other hand… feels like it was written by a 14 years old with zero experience with proper storytelling. It feels like it’s below the YA category, somewhere between picture books and smaller stories for children who have a low attention span and makes a friend out of every foe. Like really?
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- Anonymous User
- 07-03-2023
Loved it!
I didn't expect to love it as much as I did. At first I though the narrators voice was a bit monotone but once the story started, I realised he was perfect for Fred. It was easily one of my favourite reads of the year so far!
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- Dan T
- 07-06-2021
incredible all round
great story, great characters, funny situations. Also excellent voice acting. the voice actor does an incredible job bring the characters personalities out through his different voices for them. loved every minute 😄
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- Craig McSpellcheck
- 18-03-2019
F@#&1ng Delightfull.
The narrators voice captures the personality of this charicter perfectly. Slightly anoying, but growing on you with this self depreciative and ludicrously humerous tail that draws you in page by... Well ok whatever...
The charter development was wonderful. The plot reminiscent of old school cliffhanger 80s tv series with out the baggage of pridctibility. The twists in every chapter made this a fun ride. I could listen to this again easily. Violent, awkward, fantisafull and good chuckel.
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- Gabriel Musiello
- 29-06-2018
OK
I was expecting a different approach, but ok book, I would still recommend it to someone.
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