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The Emotionally Absent Mother

How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect, Second Edition
Narrated by: Emily Durante
Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
4.4 out of 5 stars (20 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

The groundbreaking guide to self-healing and getting the love you missed.

Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships - or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can't quite put a finger on what's missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse - but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. In this second edition of her pioneering book, with compassion for mother and child alike, she explains:

  • Possible reasons your mother was distracted or hurtful - and what she was unable to give
  • The lasting impact of childhood emotional neglect and abuse
  • How to find the child inside you and fill the "mother gap" through reflections and exercises
  • How to secure a happier future for yourself (and perhaps for your children)

©2017 Jasmin Lee Cori (P)2017 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"This book is a revelation to those of us whose mothering was short of what we needed." (Connie Dawson, PhD, coauthor of Growing up Again)

What listeners say about The Emotionally Absent Mother

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    4 out of 5 stars

Excellent for anyone feeling incomplete.

Mother is my first other, my mirror. If the reflection feels incomplete in some way it may be due to how one is Mothered in early childhood. This book is an excellent resource for untangling those feelings, & gaining a valuable understanding & positive perspective for healing Mother wounds.

1 person found this helpful

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Definate must read if you are trying to heal from emotional neglect

Good descriptions & advice, a dhuefinate must read if you are trying to heal from emotional neglect

2 people found this helpful

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Mother Wound workout

I would highly recommend this book to anyone suffering a mother wound... whether as a result of emotional abuse or neglect. It will provide the opportunity to become aware of the extent of your wounding whilst also supporting you toward healing & growth. Do NOT let your mother wound keep you feeling stuck, small, weak or powerless.

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  • ibekristi
  • 08-08-2018

Good book but not the audio version

I have the hard copy of this book but couldn't find time to squeeze in the reading so I got the audio version. I got 3 chapters in and had to stop. The narration sounds robotic. I couldn't bare to listen. I went back to the actual book. Much better.

10 people found this helpful

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  • sheldon als
  • 31-08-2018

Amazing

Loved it to the point real self help book will read again and again each time gives more insight

3 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-05-2019

Wow ....

It ... it cured me. I am free now ... finally I am free. thank you thank you very much thank you i am free. guys I would like to give you some parts of my story you know what i am happy now depression-free I used every bit of my power to make this happen. I am from EGYPT and here without any regret it is a MISSED up system I DID NOT FINDA THERAPIST AND I KNEW THAT I WAS SICK SO SICK I KNEW IT IKNEW IT> AT THE END AFTER FIVE THERAPISTS I HAVE DECIDED TWO THINGS 1. TO NOT GIVE A FU** ABOUT EGYPTIAN MEDICAL SYSTEMS 2.TO NOT GIVE UP I HAVE READ BOOKS A LOT OF BOOKS, REACHED OUT FOR EVERY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY OF GETTING HELP THAT ICOULD FIND, DID NOT WASTE MY TIME DID NOT WASTE ANY MOMENT ENROLLED IN A PROGRAM IN SCINCE. GUYS FIVE YEARS GUYS FIVE YEARS OF PURE STRUGGLING JUST STRUGGLE! I AM TOO TIRED TOO TIRED OF THIS WOUNDS TOO TIRED BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE SUCCEDED! FINALLY. TO YOU THE AUTHOR I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH WALLAHY I AM NOT ABLE TO MY WORDS WOULD NEVER CONSIDEREDTO BE ENOUGH. YOUR WORK IS JUST STUNNING! AND YEAH I GOT EMOTIONALL WHILE WRITTING THIS :"D

6 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Anonymous User
  • 29-07-2018

worth the time

Book starts slow and very generalized....it gets more informative and much useful after Chapter 12

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 22-06-2020

Eye Opening it Makes my life make sense

I survived a sexual trauma in childhood, the perpetrator went to prison. However I was left with all the pieces of that trauma at 11yrs old and my emotional absent and emotionally abusive parents. So to say I had coping mechanism is an understatement, but I had always immediately made the excuse that I had gotten them from the sexual trauma without the consideration that they could be from anything else. I mean both my parents took care of my physical needs just fine; ie roof, food, clothing, attempted to keep me safe thru being a teenager albeit they both considered me to be a wild and out of control one. It didn't dawn on me until reading this book that a parent supplies more than just physical needs to a child. Even after I had my own son 10yrs ago. I still hadn't put that together even though my son's emotional life is equally important to me as his physical and spiritual life. Strangely I had chosen this book because I am a teacher and I hoped to glean some insight on narratives and life situations that students could be living through to help me be more empathetic and understanding their situations better. It is eye opening for sure. I recommend the book as I gained insight about my own life, others lives, and also The Narrative that societies give "Mother" all through out time.

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  • James Myers
  • 14-09-2019

Very informative and helpful

I have two daughters who are struggling to survive an emotionally absent mother and this book gives all the right information, advice, and references for them and anyone else suffering as they are. I have read many books on psychological self help and this is one of the best. Stays on point and moves along well without unneeded material.

1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • g!
  • 29-11-2018

useful

This has many useful pausing moments to write down answers to questions so I'll definitely be buying the hard back version. Listening to it first is likely ideal. anyone with emotionally absent mothers NEEDS to listen/read this! Very grateful.

1 person found this helpful

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  • MyOwnSelfHelper
  • 26-08-2020

Great self help book, highly recommend.

The narrators voice is extremely important to me, very easy listen. If these topics apply to you, keep in mind, this is not a story, and can be painful to hear at times. Try to avoid distractions and allow yourself to connect, and don't try to hurry through. Author connects the absence of an emotional mother to its real life consequences, and offers a lot of eye opening material. I've been in therapy for 35 yrs, I cannot believe most of this never came up with any or the providers. This is a great book. I am so grateful to have found an author/book that delivers the information in such a way that it sticks with you. I feel like I finally have a place to start the healing process.

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  • Keo
  • 20-07-2020

Tough and True insights can be gained

Powerful insight into the struggles many adults face daily and the possible source of our struggles.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 27-04-2020

Assertive

Provides a deeper sense of awareness and sparks ones own sense of introspective guidance through its exercises. Thanks.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 29-05-2019

Amazing book!

Highly recommended if you are in the path of personal growing. It has practical exercises and very well detail examples. I love it.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Gill
  • 12-02-2020

Just an another heal your inner child book

This book wasn't quite what I expected it to be. Only few first chapters concentrated briefly on these mothers themselves. Briefly explained what psychological disorders these mothers usually exhibit. There is not much of info about the things the mother might do wrong and hardly any examples. Another chapters give overview on what therapies are available and what's most common approach versus more controversial approaches in therapies. And rest of the book is description of exercises one should do to explore why did we get hurt and trying to find out any helpful advocacy for the hurtful mother's behavior towards us. As I was not looking for self help workbook narration I was disappointed by the half of the book when I realized that's probably all I'm able to source out of it. It however didn't teach me at all how to be good mother for my children and what mistakes I have done previously. It just reminded me of how much bad I felt as a child when my mother was with me anytime anywhere and how anxious I felt when my main caregiver left me every evening with her. Probably I just realized where my social anxiety came from and confirmed I'm a victim of narcissistic mother and even I understand why she is like that and what kind of childhood trauma she had endured this book isn't helpful to resolve it. The author herself warns the reader that doing these exercises all alone without therapist can be dangerous and triggering. So its kind of self advertisement book I guess. Its not a book I would read over and over again or recommend to my friends to read.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 16-05-2020

This book held answers for me

I found this book very accessible and it answered a lot of questions I had about my upbringing. It has opened more doors of emotion than I expected but it also gives some very practical exercises to help. I'd definitely recommend this book if you're on your emotional journey of healing. Thank you

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  • CGM
  • 04-05-2020

Very important book

Eye opening and very easy to follow. I have also now ordered the physical book so that I can do the exercises

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  • Elma
  • 09-01-2020

eye-opening book

Really good book for anyone to read and understand why they behave in different ways.