The ADHD Effect on Marriage cover art

The ADHD Effect on Marriage

Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

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The ADHD Effect on Marriage

By: Melissa Orlov
Narrated by: Laura Jennings
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About this listen

An invaluable resource for couples in which one of the partners suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), this authoritative book guides troubled marriages toward an understanding of and appreciation for the struggles and triumphs of a relationship affected by it and to look at the disorder in a more positive and less disruptive way. Going beyond traditional marriage counseling, this discussion offers advice from the author's personal experience and years of research and identifies patterns of behavior that can hurt marriages - such as nagging, intimacy problems, sudden anger, and memory issues - through the use of vignettes and descriptions of actual couples and their ADHD struggles and solutions. This resource encourages both spouses to become active partners in improving their relationship and healing the fissures that ADHD can cause.

©2010 Melissa Orlov (P)2017 Tantor Attention Deficit Disorders Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Mental Health Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Marriage Special Need Health Step Parenting
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I've learned a lot from this book, would highly recommend to anyone with ADHD

Great book very informative and relatable

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A lifeline in a chaotic sea and a safe path to harbour. Thank you.
- I loved not only the advice but the relatable stories. So comforting to know we are not alone. x

Very helpful

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Never related to a book so much in my life!
Learnt so much about undiagnosed ADHD in a partner but also learnt so much about myself within the relationship and as an individual.
Great listen for all.

Highly recommend!

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Spectacularly good, accurate, fair, eye-opening, and as touching as it was refreshing. It's clear Melissa has an abundance of knowledge on adhd and relationships, but what's great is that so many principles discussed can be applied to all relationships too.

Only downside was that sometimes the things that the 'adhd spouse' (I.e. husband) did were described as being an issue in the relationship due to his adhd, or things an adhd husband that affected his spouse was generalised to be because of his adhd/symptoms. However, I feel that many examples of the dissatisfaction by their non-adhd wife were more due to gender differences than given credit for.
As an adhd spouse and wife myself I actually related to the non-adhd wives quite often, and my non-adhd husband (and yes, I'm sure he doesn't have it too) has a lot of similarities with the 'adhd spouse', and I feel he probably just has that in common with them due to his gender.
For example I am not able to focus well off meds, but not paying my husband enough attention has never been an issue, if anything off meds I pay him too much attention. It likely comes easier to me as stereotypically females naturally prioritise family, loved ones and relationships higher, so to say adhd partners should prioritise paying their spouse more attention neglects to take this into consideration.

However, Melissa does preface the book by saying that most often it is non-adhd wives that want help regarding their adhd husbands so her books are tailored exactly to that.

The book is absolutely invaluable either way, regardless of who has adhd. Thank you!

Wow, so much more than I was expecting

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Few things in life are sadder and more disappointing than living through a slowly dying marriage.

Towards the end of our marriage, I came home from work one day and found my wife sitting in our bed sobbing. Her exact words were “I hate my life”.

Despite a lot of counselling and our best attempts at rebuilding the twenty year relationship that had given us two brilliant kids, we were past the point of no return.

Melissa Orlov’s lived experience will be very familiar to any couple where one partner has ADHD and the other does not. But unlike most of us, she has stepped back from the anger and frustration and approached this seemingly intractable problem with compassion, amazing clarity, meticulous analysis-and most importantly a wonderfully inventive range of pragmatic solutions.

Melissa Orlov is unique. She combines knowledge and expertise in couples counselling with an uncommon depth in adult ADHD through lived experience.

I’m deeply grateful to her for describing and explaining the failure of a 20 year marriage. But it’s more than that, Melissa Orlov has given me a chance to save a second relationship of 15 years (so far) that has been showing those old familiar signs of another unhappy ending.

“Life-changing” is an overused term, but “The ADHD Effect on Marriage” will resonate loudly for anyone in this difficult situation.

Not just recommended, this book / audio is essential.

Groundbreaking, compassionate, brilliant.

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I have ADHD, OCD and autism spectrum disorder. There wasn’t much help on the dynamics that I struggle with. Especially when attempting to live with an ADD individual (a housemate not partner, but I’ve heard this book was great for any living situation). Seemed like there was one major dynamic they went really in depth into but not much else. However there was some excellent tips of communication such as learning conversations which could benefit me in any relationship

Not really applicable to everyone

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This book was so helpful, found many useful tips for us. i highly recommend it.

amazing

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easily the best most informative book I've ever read. I'm the partner with ADHD and I found it easily understood, easy to listen to and the most of all it made it so much easier to see everything from my wife's non ADHD side.
This book should be handed out to everyone that gets diagnosed with ADHD as an adult

A must read before it's too late

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This book is a MUST for anyone who is married with ADHD or a spouse who has ADHD.
Melissa’s story and all the effort and research she has done as a result of her experience are what really helps drive the points home. You know she actually GETS IT!
Thank you to Melissa & her husband for being willing to be publicly vulnerable and open about their marriage to help others. I’m extremely optimistic about being able to work with my husband to implement the wisdom of this book!

Brilliant and helpful resource!

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it definitely will help my relationship with my partner, it gave me ways on how to do things.

Very Helpful

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