Get Your Free Audiobook

Mating in Captivity

Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Narrated by: Esther Perel
Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
5 out of 5 stars (329 ratings)

Non-member price: $31.21

After 30 days, Audible is $16.45/mo. Cancel anytime.

Publisher's Summary

When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different? In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples.

Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.

Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom; argues for playfulness, distance and uncertainty; and shows what it takes to bring lust home.

Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedtime listen.

©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic Reviews

" Mating in Captivity...articulates a poignant and unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time." ( The Evening Standard)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    285
  • 4 Stars
    29
  • 3 Stars
    10
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    1

Performance

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    248
  • 4 Stars
    25
  • 3 Stars
    3
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    1

Story

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    233
  • 4 Stars
    31
  • 3 Stars
    7
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    1
Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

a mature perspective on love

simple: read (listen) to this book. the earlier in life, the better. you won't regret it

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

smart and on point

so 2018 and on point. i love hearing the relative interviews. grounbreaking. very well written

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Essential for all couples

Esther is a gem in the relationship field! This book should be read by anyone who wants to understand themselves, relationships, infidelity and more in order to have a more fulfilling relationship.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Life changing

Life changing thank you. Making so much easier to understand how we work and how powerful separation is in a marriage.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

fabulous

Loved it other than the recommendation to flirt with other than your husband. Dangerous territory.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Fun to listen to, with a wealth of information

This book is filled with gems. It will unsettle your assumptions, and your patterns in relation to eroticism and sex in the context of a relationship. It will add something positive, but it will do so gently. whatever it adds will be completely of your choosing

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

A good listen.

A good listen. The ideas are well worth opening your mind to, but needs to be read with an open mind to the beliefs and ideas of oneself.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Thought provoking Esther

Great insights and examples offered by Esther regarding intimate relationships. She has left me with a lot to consider about my relationship and how to go about enhancing the connection between my partner and I.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Skillfull, playfull and accessable.

This book makes approachable an uncomfortable topic to discuss. Ester Perel appeals to our best qualities while showing us our flaws ans challenges with sensitivity, humor and illuminating science. This is an amazingly insightful book. I recommend it to those curious about this subject OR to those who may feel they need Ester Perel's expertise.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Eye Opening

I finished this faster than any other audio book I have. ITS LIFE CHANGING! Esther Perel will always be someone I lean on for advice and nuggets of wisdom. I would recommend this to anyone single, married or in between.

Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 18-12-2017

Esther Perel is a trailblazer

Mating in captivity helped me reimagine many ideas about my relationship. It is both liberating and comforting to know that there are more ways to feel, think and express our love and desire. It’s eloquently written and perfectly presented.
Life changing!

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Saqib
  • 10-12-2017

A treasure for understanding relationships!

This book is a wonderful treasure to understand and live relationships in the modern world

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Ema Morosan
  • 22-04-2018

Loved it!

Educational, mindopening, comprehensive and smart with real life experiences and a very pleasant and warm voice. Search for Esther Perel's podcasts as well.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Tamar B.
  • 15-04-2018

Every human needs to hear this book!

Probably the most insightful and fascinating book on the struggles of maintaining a happy, healthy, and passionate relationship in today's world. I'm telling everyone to listen because it really helps to put current/past/future relationships into perspective no matter where you are in your life. Listening to Esther's articulate explainations were highlighted by her beautiful accent, too. I cannot wait to learn more from her and I wish to meet her in person. Remarkable woman. Kol hakavod! Bravo!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • KyleListix
  • 02-03-2018

A mind changer!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would recommend this book to anyone wanting to, or brave enough to start looking at relationships in a different way.This book will serve the interest of anyone feeling oddly empty in certain parts of their relationship and wanting to fill those gaps with answers which will surprise even the most liberal thinkers among us.

It is a refreshing take on age old arguments and honestly left me with opinions about love, relationships and sex, which were very different to when I started reading this book.I will forever be thankful for the enlightenment and look forward to carrying these lessons with me into the future.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Mark P. Say
  • 08-06-2019

expanded my mind!

The best bits are in the second half, so worth listening to all the way through

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 15-03-2019

A non-judgemental take on modern relationships

It's a pleasure to listen to Esther Perel read her own work. I love that this is not a step-by-step or a how-to. Instead, Esther shares her wisdom in an open and honest discussion of some issues couples face.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Alex Ilyaev
  • 13-03-2019

A game changer

Truly opened my eyes to a whole bunch of nuances around sex and erotic communication.
This book changed what I expect from my partner and gave me tools with which to ask for what I want.
Shared with my wife and she loved it too.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • boosiloo
  • 15-01-2019

must listen

very insightful , critical and deep look into relationship and monogomy that will challenge former deeply hold believes.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Khakhu
  • 15-10-2018

A different way of looking at relationships.

She empowers everyone in the relationship. Gone are the days when you are dependant on your spouse for your happiness. Now you have to own your happiness and not be apologetic about it.

Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Phoebus Weebus
  • 30-05-2018

Warning: this book might change your life.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book as it was thought provoking and full of knowledge gained Esther's years of experience, listening to and helping couples. I found this book very challenging and advise listening with your partner rather than trying to relay the information - you might have a lot you might want to talk about! A great book.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • JedHoll
  • 10-11-2018

Loved it

Every now and then you strike gold and read a book that totally challenges the way you look at something with original thoughts. This is undeniably such a book and to listen to it is to become a fan of the author for life.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • J. ELARIO
  • 04-12-2017

some great food for thought (and practice)

how refreshing to hear a narration by a human rather than the go-to male "broadcasting" voices of many authors. It took a bit to get used to it, but once you pass that hurdle the book becomes a lot more personal and you appreciate the author's mission more. She relates many situations she's had to overcome with her therapy clients and I think it's safe to say that there should be something in this book that every couple can relate to and learn from
higly recommended.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Amazon Customer
  • 01-03-2019

Excellent read

An older book but still very relevant. I learned a lot about the push and pull of relationships, especially around how to keep the romance alive.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Jem
  • 18-02-2019

Hard going

A very intellectual approach to sexual relationships with a total bias towards US culture. However I found some useful information and Esther Perel has a very sexy accent that kept me listening!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Santa Baneviciute
  • 08-02-2019

Expanded view of the sexuality

Revolutionary book that will change how you see your partner. Holistic view of the sexuality.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • digi-mech
  • 16-10-2018

insightful, poignant

A superb collection of thoughts, anecdotes and perceptions, challenging the norms of societies the world over but specifically our modern take on relationships, Esther Perel achieves a succinct, often times disturbing, frequently compassionate, in depth discussion of relationships in a changing world. dont assume its a self help book, but instead realise its insights could be seriously beneficial for all.

The only reason I didn't give the performance a 5 was because I sometimes got stuck on her accent, but really its a small point and more about me than the reader I guess

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 09-10-2018

I love every story!

I have stumbled upon Esther on YouTube and since then I've been glued to her stories and interviews. I have understood myself more how I feel inside and that I am not alone in this world feeling the same thing a lot of couples around the world are struggling to experience. A highly recommended audio book especially for very busy people who need both thier hands free while doing other things and read books at the same time. Can't wait to listen to her next book The State of Affairs! Thank you Madam Esther for writing this book and sharing your expertise to the world. Much love and respect to you. ❤❤❤

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • J
  • 18-06-2019

Simply a must read!!!

I will recommend this book to everyone of my friends and family, it is so helpful to sort ones own thoughts and attitudes and views...and understand my partner better I wish I would have read this years ago!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Edgar
  • 26-05-2019

Excellent! Enlightening and educational.

A must-read book for couples and individuals who pursuit a successful long
-term relationship.