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  • Mating in Captivity

  • Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
  • By: Esther Perel
  • Narrated by: Esther Perel
  • Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (1,152 ratings)

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Mating in Captivity

By: Esther Perel
Narrated by: Esther Perel
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Publisher's Summary

When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different? In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples.

Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.

Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom; argues for playfulness, distance and uncertainty; and shows what it takes to bring lust home.

Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedtime listen.

©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Critic Reviews

" Mating in Captivity...articulates a poignant and unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time." ( The Evening Standard)

What listeners say about Mating in Captivity

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Cheater apologist.

Cheating will not save your marriage, it will implode it in spectacular fashion and likely cause a lot of collateral damage in the process. The reality is that cheating is a nasty, hurtful, abusive act. And dressing it up in flowery language does not change that.  She argues that denying your mate sex is much worse than going out endangering their lives and gaslighting them, denying them a true understanding of their reality.


Esther Perel has no qualifications outside an art therapy degree. She calls herself a psychotherapist which anyone can label themselves with. it's not a real title.

There does seem to be some good advice in the book and some interesting ideas but her stance on affairs gives a free pass to anyone who has or wants to engage in one.

If you're not happy in a relationship fix it or leave.

Brad

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26 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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a mature perspective on love

simple: read (listen) to this book. the earlier in life, the better. you won't regret it

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8 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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fabulous

Loved it other than the recommendation to flirt with other than your husband. Dangerous territory.

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars

Jarring experience

I saw Esther on you tube where she was vibrant and insightful. I was disappointed to hear this book which is mechanical sounding, and didn't deliver what I'd hoped in terms of insights into how to deal with married life.

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4 people found this helpful

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Essential for all couples

Esther is a gem in the relationship field! This book should be read by anyone who wants to understand themselves, relationships, infidelity and more in order to have a more fulfilling relationship.

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Great listening for the work commute

Esther drove me to and from work for the past two weeks. Her connection between family dynamics and perception of love from a young age to how they play into eroticism and relationship dynamics in adulthood is fascinating. She breaks it all down in a very accessible way. I found myself recognising a lot of patterns in the couples used in Esther’s case studies and the learnings stick with you. Highly recommend!

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Very engaging. Resonates deeply.

Love ester’s writing style and voice. Easy to listen to, highly engaging. I have adhd and sometimes find myself switching off for large blocks of time whilst trying to listen to an audiobook or podcast but I was more or less actively listening to the entire book, a feat in itself. This book doesn’t provide any clear cut answers, but I don’t think it’s supposed to. It more so holds up a mirror for you to notice patterns in your own behaviour and in your relationship. This book is more about challenging the status quo of committed relationships rather than a how-to guide on bringing sex back into the marital bed.

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smart and on point

so 2018 and on point. i love hearing the relative interviews. grounbreaking. very well written

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Life changing

Life changing thank you. Making so much easier to understand how we work and how powerful separation is in a marriage.

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2 people found this helpful

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Exceptional book

Wow! What an incredible book, and yes it has unlocked my erotic intelligence. In the suave of reading this book, it has strengthened my relationship and open me to new possibilities in the space that I once was closed to.

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In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.