It's Not You cover art

It's Not You

How to Identify and Heal from Narcissistic People

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It's Not You

By: Ramani Durvasula
Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES AND SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr Ramani Durvasula, discover the inspiring guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism.

REDISCOVER WHO YOU ARE AFTER YEARS OF INVALIDATION

Dealing with a narcissist is hard.

One day their confidence and charisma pull you in, the next day they gaslight, wreck your self-confidence and leave you wondering what you could have done differently. Clinical psychologist and narcissism expert Dr Ramani is here to help.

Drawing on more than 20 years of studying, teaching and helping people navigate the challenging landscape of narcissism, It’s Not You will show you how to:

  • Spot the tell-tale signs of a narcissist
  • Confront toxic cycles
  • Protect your energy
  • Create realistic boundaries
  • Reclaim and embrace your true self


Packed with expert tips and detailed advice, this book will equip you with the tools to stop blaming yourself, regain your power, heal and take back your life.

'A compassionate road map and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships' Jay Shetty, bestselling author of Think Like a Monk and The 8 Rules of Love
‘A must read. Dr Ramani will teach you how to heal from any toxic relationship’ Mel Robbins, bestselling author of The Let Them Theory

©2024 Ramani Durvasula (P)2024 Penguin Audio

©2024 Ramani Durvasula (P)2024 Penguin Audio Abuse Best of 2024 Dysfunctional Families Dysfunctional Relationships Indigenous Creators Love, Dating & Attraction Mental Health Mental Health Awareness Parenting & Families Personal Development Personality Disorders Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Self-Esteem Health Inspiring

Critic Reviews

“A compassionate roadmap and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships, helping them understand how to heal and thrive during and after these challenging relationships.” - Jay Shetty
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I cannot organise my thoughts at the moment, and will return to edit once, I do, but I am overcome with gratitude for Dr. Ramani having the courage and grit to not be silenced in her tireless work on this insidious and harmful behaviourpatterns and personality type. This book saved my life, without exaggeration. Years of therapy, but so much I was so accustomed to I didn't even know to bring it up in sessions. Decades of treatment resistant major depressive disorder, cPTSD and PTSD, and I finally understand why I was not recovering or responding to medication and tireless use of therapeutic tools on my thoughts, interpersonal communication, etc. If you are drawn to Dr. Ramani's work, this book will be life-changing

Sanity, and life saving insights

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This book is an absolute revelation , I only wish Dr. Durvasula had written it and I had found it years ago ! Especially as I am now very old .

The truth and research .

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Fantastic and life affirming - learned a lot and the mere listening had a therapeutic effect on me

Clarity of the author

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This book is real honest and so easy to understand and listen too. Awesome reading.

Brilliant

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I gained great clarity from reading this book. It includes many journalling ideas and strategies to cope with a narcissist. Thank you for taking the time to write this book. It is life changing to the reader.

A Wonderful Book

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Wow, this was revelatory for me. On my first listen I was very resistant to the idea of narcissism as a potential explanation for the difficult person in my life, but I’m so glad I listened more deeply. Once I opened to the idea of narcissism as existing along a spectrum, and learned some of its common expressions and even more importantly its effects on its victims/targets, I learned so much, and really appreciated its insightful and compassionate approach. The book is aimed more for people married to a narcissist, but also very useful for those with a narcissistic parent, or even friend or boss. If there is even a possibility that this is you, please listen. I imagine I’ll be listening many more times.

A book to save your own life

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Dr Ramani is a breath of fresh air with her authentic and compassionate approach of how to deal with narcissistic abuse.
I loved hearing her voice read the text as this is healing in itself. This book has given me the tools I need to recover from a lifetime of gaslighting and a family full of narcissts. I'm so grateful.

Compassionate and empathetic

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It all makes more sense to me now and I can see a way out

Fabulous

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Thank you for your work and this amazing book. I learnt so much and it was freeing for my soul. Highly recommend.

Outstanding book

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This book was the push I needed to help me see just how toxic my relationship was, and to leave it. Thank you Ramani!!

This book saved my sanity.

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