Try free for 30 days

  • It's Not You

  • How to Identify and Heal from Narcissistic People
  • By: Ramani Durvasula
  • Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula
  • Length: 11 hrs and 31 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (38 ratings)

1 credit a month to use on any title, yours to keep (you’ll use your first credit on this title).
Stream or download thousands of included titles.
Access to exclusive deals and discounts.
$16.45 a month after 30 day trial. Cancel anytime.
It's Not You cover art

It's Not You

By: Ramani Durvasula
Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula
Try for $0.00

$16.45 per month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $26.99

Buy Now for $26.99

Pay using voucher balance (if applicable) then card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions Of Use and Privacy Notice and authorise Audible to charge your designated credit card or another available credit card on file.

Publisher's Summary

Brought to you by Penguin.

REDISCOVER WHO YOU ARE AFTER YEARS OF INVALIDATION.

Dealing with a narcissist is hard. One day their confidence and charisma pull you in, the next day they gaslight, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering what you could have done differently. Clinical Psychologist and narcissism expert Dr Ramani is here to help. Drawing on more than 20 years of studying, teaching and helping people navigate the challenging landscape of narcissism, you’ll learn how to:

  • Spot the tell-tale signs of a narcissist
  • Confront toxic cycles
  • Protect your energy
  • Create realistic boundaries
  • Reclaim and embrace your true self

Packed with expert tips and detailed advice, this book will equip you with the tools to stop blaming yourself, regain your power, heal, and take back your life.

©2024 Ramani Durvasula (P)2024 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

“A compassionate roadmap and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships, helping them understand how to heal and thrive during and after these challenging relationships.” - Jay Shetty

What listeners say about It's Not You

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    34
  • 4 Stars
    3
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    1
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    34
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    1
Story
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    34
  • 4 Stars
    2
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    1

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Clarity of the author

Fantastic and life affirming - learned a lot and the mere listening had a therapeutic effect on me

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

The validation you didn’t realise you needed

I recently realised my ex of 16 years was never going to change and listening to this book provided so many gems that will help me through this complex process of grieving an abusive relationship and how to continue the journey of becoming more grounded in myself

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Amazing!

A realistic & resonating view on healing. I feel hope for the first time in a very long time.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Compassionate and empathetic

Dr Ramani is a breath of fresh air with her authentic and compassionate approach of how to deal with narcissistic abuse.
I loved hearing her voice read the text as this is healing in itself. This book has given me the tools I need to recover from a lifetime of gaslighting and a family full of narcissts. I'm so grateful.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Fabulous

It all makes more sense to me now and I can see a way out

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

This book saved my sanity.

This book was the push I needed to help me see just how toxic my relationship was, and to leave it. Thank you Ramani!!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

The one I will remember

Dr Ramini has a way of making your experience feel validated, and I felt that and so much more listening to this audiobook. Many topics are covered that you don’t even think other people are aware of. I highly recommend this book to anyone going through narcissistic abuse

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Mind-blowing and practical

Dr Ramani does it again! I've enjoyed all her books because the information is pioneering, enlightening and well-articulated.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Amazing book. Super educational and therapeutic.

Consistently excellent content. I cannot recommend more highly. It felt like the writer knew my experience in great detail. Very easy to listen to and enjoy. A reason to continue my subscription.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Empowering and Timely

90% of this book resonated, and for me was incredibly validating. particularly hearing explanations that I had already worked out myself. One or two of the earlier chapters were less well told and didn't have the same impact as the rest of the book. The opening didn't hook me. But I caught the circle back to it at the end (the dress). Overall I am empowered in my own healing by this book, identified a couple more exercises I will do, and am so damn excited to step into Sarah 2.0. Remember my name, I'll be publishing, as well as a figure in world transformation to "what actually works" in mental health, and a powerful advocate for children and animal victims of narcissistic abuse. My sincere thanks to you Dr Romani. Sarah Commens

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.