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It's Not Me, It's You
- Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better.
- Narrated by: John Kim, Vanessa Bennett
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
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It's Not Me, It's You
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Publisher's Summary
Two therapists analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership.
Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships right—avoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they “found themselves” first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why? For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up won’t fix things. They recognize a pattern of relationship misery that has them finally looking in the mirror asking, how do you make a relationship last?
It took us many relationships, our own inner self journey (which we’re still on), therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships, to learn to have better ones ourselves. Vanessa woke up at 31, after ending an engagement and moving to Los Angeles. John thought he woke up at 35 after his divorce. But he didn’t truly wake up until he was pushing 40.
In It’s Not Me, It’s You, John and Vanessa dissect their own relationship to help readers figure out theirs: what their relationships were like in the past, what traumas they carried into the new relationship, and how they work on growing together to foster a healthy and long-term bond.
The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner. It’s more about challenge and growth than comfort and ease, and roots don’t grow from wishful thinking—they grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding.
It’s Not Me, It’s You is for anyone looking for real advice on relationships that takes both sides into account and discusses relationships with the honesty and clarity we all need.
Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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What listeners say about It's Not Me, It's You
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Keesha Jeffries
- 27-10-2022
A fantastic read for anyone seeking some guidance or clarification understanding themselves in their relationships.
I loved this book more than I can put into words.. I truely felt like this was a personal expression of my own story and could relate on so many levels with Vanessa.. My (now ex) partner sounded a lot like John and the union we once shared, However perhaps if we had this book a year ago it could have made us realise where we were going wrong with our love languages and attachment styles and how to “swim past the breakers” and communicate..
This book has clarified my understanding of each topic in a way that is professional yet easy to digest, insanely informative but fun to read. I listened to the whole book in a day as I couldn’t stop, I was intrigued by the relativity!. 🙏🏽 thank you for sharing your story John and Vanessa.
I will be using this book for homework! 😊🙌🏾
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Anonymous User
- 23-04-2023
The truth we all need to hear
Relationship as a journey, not a destination. To accept one another wholly, mess and all. This is an inspiring read, it addresses the gnarly side of relationships whilst layering hope. Great to hear both John and Vanessa’s perspective.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 16-06-2023
Finally .. Modern Advice for any Love Story
So interesting , honest , practical and helpful. Was fantastic to have lived experience examples and recommendations focused on improving ones self to bring change. , Felt empowering not overwhelming . I think this book is a game changer for many people I am sure .
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