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I’m Glad You’re Dead

Preternatural Chronicles, Book 1
Narrated by: Luke Daniels
Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
5.0 out of 5 stars (1 rating)

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Publisher's Summary

My name is John Cook, and my life began the day my heart stopped beating.

You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full.

And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.

Granted, at the time, I was listening to the dying screams of my mother and father being burned and eviscerated alive just outside the rusty bars of the prison cell, and my new best friend was offering me my only real chance at saving my own life and avenging my parents’ murderers - some day.

Except, my first chance at vengeance took about 500 years, and I had to wade through oceans of sin and violence, blackening my soul - and my already dark sense of humor - beyond redemption until I met Father Thomes, a Roman Catholic priest, in present-day Houston.

Papa Thomes taught me how to use my dark curse to fight for the good guys. Like Alfred and Robin did for Batman - except we straight up murder Jokers and Two-Faces.

Biteman and Pope’n.

We stand up for the downtrodden, the forgotten, and the neglected.

By ex-sanguinating the wicked in horrific, truly imaginative ways and having a grand ol’ time doing it. You know what they say about doing what you love...

But our party is soon cut short when we learn the End of Days is just around the corner, and that the fine print of my contract might have hidden a few other tidbits. Like the fact that I was central to kicking off the apocalypse and that the archdemons will stop at nothing to make sure the dude abides by the terms of his contract.

I guess I need a lawyer.

Get ready to laugh at extreme violence. I know I will. If you’re not laughing, you’re learning.

©2019 Hunter Blain (P)2019 Hunter Blain

What listeners say about I’m Glad You’re Dead

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Amazing

Great series. Very entertaining. I only found this series because I am a Luke Daniels narrator fan and am thoroughly enjoying this. Thank you to Hunter and Luke.

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  • Collin Baker
  • 22-12-2019

Gory Damn Fun Romp Through Time

A blood-filled adventure through both history and the inner workings of a vampire who, after a long time, is still figuring things out. A well written story with a phenomenal narrator to bring it to life. Would recommend to all unless you are opposed to violence, jokes and and all-round good time, you know, the people no one likes.

10 people found this helpful

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  • Summer Riley
  • 20-06-2020

If Dead Pool was a Vampire....

This book was a pleasant surprise! Truly entertaining and Im really looking forward to starting the next one! Lots of laughs and kick ass monster fights but also really endearing and sweet. The back and forth between past and present was done really well and gives the reader a good glimpse into Johns past and the demons that haunt him even still. The other characters are just as interesting and can’t wait to see what happens next!!

5 people found this helpful

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  • Brynn Kemp
  • 01-03-2020

Best not so good guy Hero book

I love this book. I won't lie, some parts are so descriptive and horrific, I found myself cringing. Other parts had me laughing out loud regardless of my surroundings. I have now listened to it twice and am reading #3 while not so patiently waiting for the Audible edition. I can promise, I'll be reading them all.

5 people found this helpful

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  • EMPIREriot
  • 27-02-2020

Friendly neighborhood vampiric wiseass.

So I enjoyed this very much! I have discovered many books because I greatly enjoy Luke Daniels' narrations and this is my first Hunter Blain book. I thought this was a lot of fun. John (the main character) is.... the best way to say this is if Dresden had a vampiric offspring with Deadpool. Without spoilers... he is a friendly wiseass. He is far from perfect, but he means well. He has flaws... might make a mistake but he is... or well was only human. I'm a HUGE fan of the Dresden series by Jim Butcher so I feel like this has a similar feel. You get a great sense of who he is.... who his allies are... and a part of the world. It's really entertaining and I can't wait to hear more!!!! Thank you to you both!

4 people found this helpful

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  • richard henney
  • 26-06-2020

warning do not eat while listening to this book

This book is amazing,funny and beyond entertaining. Half way through book 1 I went and bought the rest of Hunters book.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Rodney Harris
  • 19-09-2020

Story

Good story, love the characters and pretty funny. Jon is a trip lol Highly recommend.

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  • spicyringlets
  • 08-10-2020

Entertaining and Exciting

This book was fun with its sarcastic and sometimes spastic main character. Even in the most serious moments, he added a little humor. There was plenty of excitement and intrigue to keep me interested the whole time. The narrator did a perfect job! I usually gravitate toward female main characters and stories with a little romance, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book! I'm interested to see what happens next!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Justin Sylvia
  • 28-08-2020

It’s Just John!!

Now normally, vampires aren’t milieu as I’ve seen some dumb vampire movies or heard about shows that make them seem weak & not so predatory. The Preternatural Series however, does something that I enjoy. It takes a concept that when done well.. like the Underworld movies can be good & engaging & puts John into a world where it seems like it could be ripped or borrowed from modern life itself. Considering what happens towards the end, it gives the reader/listener a reason to keep going, not just to see what kind of mess John can inevitably get into, but to see if something ever ends up happening or not. I look forward to book 2 & beyond.

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  • ScretSquirrl
  • 26-08-2020

Deadpool meets Sandman Slim meets Dresden

First time listen and I love it. Great story with the snark that I have come to love in my characters. The protagonist, John has that snark of Deadpool and Sandman Slim. He has the caring (and slight goofiness) of Dresden for those who do not deserve such fates, but going after those that do. His fay spirit (Da) reminds me of Dresden's Bob, but more helpful in the housekeeping department. I know that the narrator (who did a good job) had a few quirks, but that I haven't decided if I like them or not. I'm sure he was trying to find the character. But sometimes he goes full southern/maybe Cajun, but not always. I get the Irish lit from when he was mortal, but his inner monologue is sometimes British sounding, was that when he was learning oh so many eons ago? And sometimes he loses the southern lilt all together. Maybe it's my ADD, but I sometimes get distracted when he goes into a heavy accent that isn't called for. But that's just me, and won't stop me from listening! Overall, I look forward to hearing the rest of the series! For those that love little "easter eggs" in their stories, Hunter Blaine tosses in movie, book, and TV show references and trivia! I think it makes the book all the better!

1 person found this helpful

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  • christi l harris
  • 24-08-2020

Thanks for the fun filled ride!

This was a blood soaked, snark filled good time! John is a great character, so he has occasional set backs who doesn’t? The back and forth thru time was well done and you got a good glimpse into what makes John John. The narrator was terrific! I look forward to the next shenanigan filled romp. This tribute to the authors friend was such a wonderful way to immortalize him. Send the credit, it’s so worth it.

1 person found this helpful