Get Your Free Audiobook

How to Be Yourself

Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety
Narrated by: Ellen Hendriksen
Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (51 ratings)

Non-member price: $39.00

After 30 days, Audible is $16.45/mo. Cancel anytime.

Publisher's Summary

How to Be Yourself is the best audiobook you'll ever listen to about how to conquer social anxiety.

"...a groundbreaking road map to finally being your true, authentic self." - Susan Cain, New York Times and USA Today best-selling author of Quiet

Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you're introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure.

If you get nervous in social situations - meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss - you've probably been told, "Just be yourself!" But that's easier said than done - especially if you're prone to social anxiety.

Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has.

With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the listener through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and - at long last - exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, "Everyone will judge you." Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2018 Ellen Hendriksen (P)2018 Macmillan Audio

What listeners say about How to Be Yourself

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    43
  • 4 Stars
    4
  • 3 Stars
    3
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    40
  • 4 Stars
    4
  • 3 Stars
    2
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    38
  • 4 Stars
    5
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Wonderful

Fantastic book for anyone who feels insecure & struggles with forming relationships due to anxiety. Filled with wonderful anecdotes from the authors clients & tried & true evidence from the world of psychology focusing on social anxiety.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Great!

Great book. An easy listen with lots of helpful insights to assist the most stubborn of the socially anxious :)

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

This has helped so much

I can’t thank this wonderful woman enough for perfectly encapsulating day to day social anxiety and finally providing real life non-fluff tips on how to deal with it so you are thriving not just surviving. Couldn’t recommend it more highly.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Life without social anxiety...there really is hope

I've just finished listening to "How to Be Yourself" and have come away feeling like I really can conquer the social anxieties in my life. No longer must I dream of some magical potion to live a true and meaningful life, free of self-imposed restrictions. Ellen has shown me that I can have this life, while being my very real self - no changing fundamental aspects of me, but rather shedding the protective and defensive (yet unhealthy) habits I have unknowingly relied on, in order to reveal to the world my already wonderful self. Thank you Ellen Hendriksen for showing me the way, and the science behind it. A recommended read for all people.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Anonymous User
  • Anonymous User
  • 25-08-2018

Best book on social anxiety I have come across!

loved it!! I came across this book at a very difficult time in my life. I have suffered from anxiety for 18yrs. That combined with hard situations in life I was at a very lost point. The stories in this book felt familiar and the lessons and advise felt real and tangible. I have started applying things I have learned in this book to the way I do and handle things and for the first time in a long time I truly feel better. I am not cured but after this book I feel more determined to learn more, live more and figure out how to work with who I am so I can finally live my best life. If you have Social Anxiety, read this book!!! Or listen to this book, just get it in asap so you can start your healing process.. I'm on my way and this book was a clear starting point for me!

17 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Lisa
  • Lisa
  • 22-05-2018

"Life" Changing

First off, I don't write reviews. I don't have the time. But the audio version of this book has made me such a braver, better person, I felt compelled to add a review so it might help someone else like me. For once, I'm not afraid and I feel like I'm living and not just going through the motions. I chose this book because of the title. I do feel like a fake most of the time. Always saying or acting the way I think others would expect me too. I remember my Mom being hyper aware of how others viewed her and her family and I picked up on that and didn't even realize. I didn't know I had social anxiety, but every example in this book sounded like me. I don't sleep well because I'll wake up in the middle of the night replaying things I did during the day. Things I could have done or said better than I did. And then the stress kicks in and the next thing I know I've laid awake for two hours pondering something that should have not been given a second thought. This book made me aware of what I was doing and I am falling back asleep quicker than ever before. It also gave me several different tools to help overcome my negative thoughts. And for once, it's not unrealistic tools that don't work. For once, they are working. Now when I start to replay a scenario, I think about Ellen's "movie theatre" scenario. And if that doesn't work. I put my inner critic on trial. A bonus was her chapter on "how to make friends." I've always avoided relationships for fear that someone would find out I'm not who I really am. But now I feel compelled to connect with someone on a friendship level. I highly recommend purchasing the audio version of this book. Ellen does a phenomenal job narrating and I honestly feel like I was sitting in her office at times. But instead of paying $$$ for a therapy session, I got so much more by purchasing this book. If you ever feel awkward in any type of social situation, you must read/listen to the book. It's a game/life changer.

46 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Abed
  • Abed
  • 14-01-2019

Life-changing

I have always struggled with having a conversation, even with the closest people in my life. Funny enough, the only people I am quite confident talking to are my brother and sister who I have spent a lot of time with. But, yes, I fumble through conversations, trying to speak the right words and in the process sound gibberish.. which makes me more anxious and sweaty and freaked out. This book has literally pushed me out of my comfort zone and into what I dread the most, conversations. Midway through this book, I walked out of my room and struck a conversation with a student sitting in the lounge. I cared not how awkward I looked. It was the most eye opening, genuine conversation I have ever had in a long, long while. I can't wait to meet new people and challenge myself in the very situations that limited me in the past(rather it's I who limited myself)... As a matter of fact, I came out of it feeling AWESOME! I highly recommend this audiobook to anyone who has faced social anxiety in their life for whatever reasons. I would have loved to highlight my reasons for my anxiety now but I am learning as the day goes by. I will update this comment accordingly when I have established those reasons sufficiently.

6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Katrina
  • Katrina
  • 06-06-2018

Enjoyable listen about social anxiety

Just want to start off this review in response to a couple other reviews. I’m not too sure why they put that this book is trying to change introverts into extroverts, but there is a whole section on the difference between introversion and social anxiety and how being an introvert affects your social anxiety. The author even says she doesn’t want to change who you are as a person. She wants to help you overcome your anxiety.

This book was really eye opening in the sense of how many other people in this world have social anxiety. The author has great examples and some good suggestions to slowly challenge yourself to help overcome being anxious by confronting the problem head on and I look forward to trying them out. I would definitely recommend this book!

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Kerry Young
  • Kerry Young
  • 30-07-2018

Exactly what I needed

I’ve read several books on social anxiety, but of all of them, this one feels like it was written just for me. Ellen Hendriksen gets it. If you have social anxiety I highly highly recommend reading this book.

Before buying the book I read some comments about the author wanting to change introverts but that’s just not the case at all. I even looked for any indication that that’s what she was doing but couldn’t find it. I’m not quite sure where those comments are coming from so please don’t let that keep you from giving this book a shot.

Mrs. Hendriksen, thank you for writing this book. It’s everything I needed to hear and changed the way I looked at many things. Every chapter was perfect but the final chapter on popularity really struck me. I’m 37 and am not as concerned with popularity as I was when I was 16 years old but I teared up during that chapter. I’m planning to share it with my two children as, even in elementary school, popularity is already a concern.

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Ashley Sackett
  • Ashley Sackett
  • 23-12-2018

Thank You

Thank you, Ellen Hendrikson, and all those involved in creating this book. I am a hopeless victim of social anxiety...or at least, I thought I was before listening to this book. Because of “How to Be Yourself” I am on a path that I believe is leading me to a much happier life in the midst of people. I am making progress with overcoming my anxiety daily, and even helping others who are stricken with social anxiety to overcome their difficulties too. I have recommended this book to many friends and family members, and now I highly recommended it to anyone with social anxiety who is reading this review.
Thank you for an enjoyable listen and educationally steeped journey through the biggest challenge of my life! I am excited by the opportunity to go out and try my skills at socializing more and more, with each experience.

Life changing, wonderful book!

-Ashley Sackett

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Yasmin Morrison
  • Yasmin Morrison
  • 28-11-2018

Life-changing Book

This is the real deal. I've struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I've read countless other books about confidence and social skills, and they were only band-aids that never got to the root of the issue. This one is different. I couldn't put it down -- it was exactly what I needed to understand where my fears come from and how to overcome them. I'm actually *excited* to try things that would have made me cringe before. If you struggle with social anxiety, please read this!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for K. Miller
  • K. Miller
  • 25-08-2018

Just be you- just be kind

This book was easy to listen too with many helpful tips on how to be yourself

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for KMF
  • KMF
  • 15-02-2020

Would Recommend

Overall good info. Easy to follow. Didn't care for the voice at times, but certainly not the worst. Would recommend to anyone looking to improve self esteem.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Oliver
  • Oliver
  • 05-02-2020

dreadful narration

This may have been a good gook but after suffering through the first 20 min I had to give the book back due to the terribly annoying piercing voice of the narrator who happens to be the author.

1 person found this helpful

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Mcehudson
  • Mcehudson
  • 11-04-2018

A great read

Humorous, well written and scientifically based self help book. A great read for anyone who suffers from anxiety with lots of tools to help you get back on track. Loved it.

9 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Dayana
  • Dayana
  • 04-05-2018

Amazing book

All the way from the beginning to end of this book, I found amazing advices, relatable examples, interesting stories and very clear and comprehensive theoretical frameworks. The boom is read with a very cheerful voice and the message is delivered very positively. Bringing all these elements together helped me to fully understand the message and to easily apply the advices.

This book is great for everyone who wants to go out there and just be yourself with ease.

Huge well done to the author!

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for alexandra varlot
  • alexandra varlot
  • 21-07-2019

Aggressive voice and pace and tone

I don’t like the voice, tone and speech of the reader . After 5 minutes I switched to another book . What a waste of my money

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Amazon Customer
  • Amazon Customer
  • 11-02-2019

Life changing listen!

After suffering with what I didn’t understand to be social anxiety for over 10 years. This book has helped to guide me towards a place I never thought I would find again. It has hit on many nerves and opened up a whole new world that I had shut myself away from.

I am sharing my learnings from this with others it’s a gift that keeps on giving.

Can’t thank the author enough! I feel like I have a second chance to live my life and be happy.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for surreymum
  • surreymum
  • 17-10-2018

Fully recommend - the best Social Anxiety resource I have come across

Having utilised many resources on the topic of social anxiety, this book is the first that really felt like it was talking to me. Dr Hendriksen’s relaxed and humorous approach made it very easy to listen to the audiobook and it is backed throughout by scientific research which makes the insights and tools extremely credible. It has helped me understand myself better and there are many “ah ha” moments throughout. It doesn’t claim to cure social anxiety and convert you to a confident extrovert, but to help you recognise and manage Social Anxiety and to stop it controlling aspects of your life. If, like me, you’ve struggled to find a resource that really helps you understand why you struggle to be yourself in group or social situations and how to deal with it, then I recommend this book.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Anonymous User
  • Anonymous User
  • 07-07-2019

Useful

How To Be Yourself is a useful and casual little guide through social anxiety. The narrator’s voice was wonderfully positive for a time, but became far to intense if listening for a long time!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Wendy
  • Wendy
  • 12-01-2019

Uninspiring

Just started to listen to this
I thought it might be helpful for my daughter. So far it is so basic, it’s cringe worthy.
It probably gets better but I am not sure I have the incling to persevere.

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Phoebe
  • Phoebe
  • 14-04-2018

sooo relatable

what i needed to change my perespective on social anxiety and take away the stigma.

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for MANOJ
  • MANOJ
  • 02-10-2019

Simply Amazing

I don' t usually write reviews however this is a must read if you are suffering from social anxiety. It wont cure the problem how ever will make life much easier to cope with.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for GA
  • GA
  • 03-07-2019

Must read/listen

loved this book! the way author tells the stories in a fun and a humarious way makes listening to it enjoyable. She provides good techniques and tips in the most common situations is very useful and assist you how to shift your thinking and behaviour. I will definitely listen to it again.

1 person found this helpful