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Publisher's Summary

For every woman that has ever felt trapped; a funny, raw, and empowering mid-life-crisis.

Creator, mother, lover, and social media phenomenon Tova Leigh explores what the hell you are supposed to do when you find yourself living a life you don't remember signing up for.

I was bored, angry, tired, and sad. I felt all alone yet I had nothing to complain about. I had a good job, a husband who wasn't shagging his assistant, three children who apart from being the occasional a**holes were pretty good kids; a house, a dog, and everything else we are told as little girls we should aspire to. But inside, I was growing restless. I didn't want to be looked at as just a "mom". I wanted to be desired, to make someone's hair stand on end and go crazy for me. I didn't want to live by some label that didn't represent me. I looked at my messy minivan one morning and I wanted to vomit on it all. I panicked, thinking about how I am slowly approaching middle age and menopause, and I wondered how many years do I have left of being "f--ckable" before everything starts going downhill?

In her first book, Tova takes the listener on her journey of rediscovering who she is after motherhood and beyond the norms society forces upon women, whilst encouraging them to break free and just be themselves.

When you find authenticity it's hard to go back. It's like opening a door to the truth and starting to breathe a new type of air. This discovery is what prompted me to write. It's my way of saying HERE I AM.

©2020 Tova Leigh (P)2020 Watkins Publishing

What listeners say about F--ked at 40

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Not as “groundbreaking” as expected

I am nearing my own 40 year old midlife crisis (not the first, probably won’t be the last either) and although it was relatable and the insight was reassuring to know I’m not alone feeling the way I do in wanting to both burn everything, fuck anything that looks sideways at me, throat punch my husband and be equally torn at the freedom and loneliness I will face as my children leave the nest, there was no real substance to the book other than a memoir/recap of what the author did in her early life and motherhood before the shittiest years and tests of endurance in parenting skills are presented: the teen years. Maybe I expected it to be offering more guidance but it came off as a bit “I had a crisis but I am better than you because I have so much support and means to do amazing things” a bit of a smugness vibe. Don’t get me wrong, hashtag blessed to the author, but for real women battling real issues and feeling alone going through a tumultuous time of their lives, it didn’t offer the insight I was hoping. Funny in parts, relatable to a point but mostly felt condescending and irrelevant. Maybe I have the hindsight of realising the toddler years are just a taste test of the REAL shit about to hit the fan as your beautiful children become the equivalent of toddlers on steroids with an attitude problem and penchant for goth clothing, but I ended the book feeling like it was just scratching the surface of real life issues that real women face as they hit 40.

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Eye opening

Absolutely love it!!! So much I can relate to as a wife, a mother and as a woman.

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Worth it!

absolutely loved this book! so worth the read/listen can't wait for the next one tova!!

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Insightful, fun and honest

Interesting insight into an amazing woman's life so far!!! Honest entertaining and fun. Definitely worth a listen

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Recommended reading

Loved it! Thankyou so much for writing this book, articulated alot of my thoughts

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Loved it so much, sad its finished

Firstly, LOVED THAT YOU READ YOUR OWN BOOK!!!! This is huge part of why this book was so good, I am 28 and a step-mother full time and still got SO SO much put of this. I have been a follower on fb since 2017 and am so happy I downloaded this book. I found myself listening to this book at every chance I got. fantastic job Tova, your such an inspiration and motivation.

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any mum needs something in this

loved it, helped me to realise I have to change my ways - encouraged me and made me laugh - holy shit balls did I laugh! I have 5 kids and I wore headphones so I could enjoy and the kids would come running each time I laughed " what was funny mum?" mostly what was funny was completely inappropriate 😂 so I moved them on haha honestly this woman and her way with words is enjoyable, engaging, happy and sad - I will and already have recommended it to many women in my life - possibly to my husband 😏

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Amazing Book 💜

Love this book!! Tova is so honest & relatable ❤️ It's like listening to (or reading) someone's diary! I'm so excited for book 2 xx

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F’ing amazing!!

At 23 I have had my fair share of heartache. From sexual abuse, child neglect, drug use, a marriage separation & the loss of our son. This book shook me in ways I didn’t know possible. So many of Tova’s words built a fire within me. This book is everything I needed and more. I’m gaining my power back and celebrating my self. I want to love myself. I will recommend this book to EVERYONE!

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A little underwhelming

I have followed Tova for a while on Instagram and bought this book for that reason however I did expect a bit more. It was an ok book, it skimmed the surface of some of her life but I feel a lot of it she has said on her Instagram and stories already. I was hoping for something unsaid or new, but this is her first book so I hope she continues to write and gives it another go. This is a book to listen to once, not a fall off your seat laughing book to repeat on long drives.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 09-10-2020

awesome

She puts into words what many women feel but don't know how to say. I loved it!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 07-10-2020

Love hw woman are getting to this fuckit lifestyle

I loved this book....I love how woman are able to be more than just a mom.....we are more

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  • April Conklin
  • 27-09-2020

Great Story

very good book full of such raw realness really wanted more. Only note is was a bit repetitive

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-09-2020

Had it all!!

I laughed ,I cried, I related!! To sum it up I loved it !!! This book has it all for mothers who feel like they are invisible:) can’t wait for book two!!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 27-08-2020

Captivating

Honest loved every word. Thank you for putting into words how is moms really feel. You are amazing.

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  • Mommy&FarmWife
  • 26-08-2020

Relatable, even to a 27 year old.

I don't even remember how I found this book but I am incredibly grateful I did. As a young mother and wife this book spoke to all of the things I am feeling and experiencing and gave me a glimpse at even what might be to come. I cried tears of laughter and have already told all of my friends to read it. it has been a while since I did a quick 24 hour read and this was well worth the pick. Thanks Tova for putting words into paper (and audible!) for all of us to relate and give us the courage to do more.

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  • Aimee Murray
  • 21-08-2020

SO relatable 😉

She wrote everything I was trying to figure out how to voice after my divorce!

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  • Debra Baker
  • 13-08-2020

I enjoyed it and loved what you had to say about b

I enjoyed it and loved what you had to say about being more than the stereotype mom.

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  • Ewa L.
  • 12-08-2020

It was pretty good

I wasn’t a fan of jumping around through the dates sometimes it can be hard to keep track off the timeline

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  • brooke
  • 06-08-2020

Tova Rules!!!

I absolutely loved this book! I’m not 40 yet or a mom, but her message about self body image really connected with me!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-10-2020

A resounding YES!

Just what I needed to hear! A breath of fresh air! Tova has spoken to my heart and in a way given me the permission (not that she would say I needed it) to be who I truly am, no labels, just me. Thank you.

1 person found this helpful

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  • vic
  • 10-03-2020

brilliant

loved it! made me laugh but also made me feel so normal. thank you Tova can't wait for your next book.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Timothy Newnes
  • 06-03-2020

If you read or listen to it, try not to judge

If you like to read a broad spectrum of opinion on life, philosophy and psychology, you will enjoy this book. If you focus on the story, appreciating that people and their relationships are diverse, then there are take-aways and insights for most. This is an often funny, sometimes sad but relatable story about a woman and her family with all the challenges, victories, happy and tragic times she and they have encountered on their journey, laid bare. Tova appears sincere and honest in her narrative and presents her life dilemmas in simple terms. I enjoyed the read.

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  • Carolyn Helliwell
  • 05-03-2020

Some stuff you just need to hear!

This is a great listen. I love Tova's work, I think everyone can take something away from this book, over 40 or not.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Nicole
  • 25-01-2021

Amazing. Must read ❤️

Brilliant book, perfectly read by Tova and I have already recommended to friends and family!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-10-2020

Thank you!

Enjoyed every minute of this book, made me laugh and cry,cringe and think about life in such a different way. Cannot wait to listen again!

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  • corky the cat
  • 06-09-2020

F_ _ked @ 40

Really enjoyed listening to Tova narrating her book, so witty, matter of fact, balshy, brutally honest and liberating. Roll on your 2nd release.

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  • Caitlin
  • 24-08-2020

This book was even better than I thought it would be!

Tova reads her story brilliantly. I really enjoyed this book and would recommend for anyone who is having a form of a crisis (mom, midlife, thirties)

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • cleverclogs2
  • 16-08-2020

I wanted to love this book but.....

There was a lot of repetition. I love Tova and watch and listen to her all the time and so wanted the book to be great. She said many times that she loves her children/husband but wishes they would fu*k off for example but there were numerous other times during the audio book were she repeated things again. Some of the times I actually thought I had accidentally skipped back but it was just her repeating herself. It was nice that she narrated the book. She also skipped around in time which did leave me confused as to what was happening. Sorry Tova. I will still watch and listen to you but I think the price of the book is too high to warrant buying it

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  • Carmen Wright
  • 18-07-2020

A breath of fresh air!

This is just what I needed.... almost felt like I'd written a lot of this book myself. Thank you Tova for being REAL and HONEST. And how wonderful that your Mum loved it too!

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