Get Your Free Audiobook

Carpet Diem

Or...How to Save the World by Accident
Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
Categories: Comedy, Other
4 out of 5 stars (4 ratings)

Non-member price: $41.00

After 30 days, Audible is $16.45/mo. Cancel anytime.

Publisher's Summary

Fifteen years after losing most of his family to a devastating, pudding-related tragedy, Simon Debovar has settled into a life of self-imposed exile from the stinking, selfish morass of humanity. Content that his daily highlights will include hazelnut coffee, a long bath, and the occasional jar of olives, his life is completely upturned by the discovery that his ornate living room carpet is the deciding factor in a bet between God and Satan.

When mysteriously well-timed carpet thieves deprive him of the crucial heirloom, Simon is forced to leave his hermit's existence behind for a world of angels, demons, witches, and immortals.

And then it gets complicated.

©2015 Justin Lee Anderson (P)2017 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"I laughed, I cried, I bought a fireside rug!" (Ian Pattison, creator of Rab C Nesbitt)

More from the same

What members say
Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    2
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    3
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    2
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

No Reviews are Available
Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Jasmine Wahlberg
  • Jasmine Wahlberg
  • 20-12-2017

What the heck did I just read?

Some mild spoilers ahead.

I thought the concept of this book was pretty funny. The writing has a fair bit of humor, too.

The problem is that the plot makes less than no sense whatsoever. Yes, sure, the basic silly plot is fine, with this one object owned by this hapless fellow being the key item in a bet between divinities, but the rest? Absolute and utter nonsense.

The reader is introduced to a cavalcade of bizarrely random characters, random superpowers, random sidequests, and random decisions. Most of the actual meat of the story doesn't actually involve the rug whatsoever -- it's that the main character and his party get sent on a fetch quest where they pick up a whole bunch of randoms on the way, too. It's sort of like a Final Fantasy story, except it makes even less sense.

Okay, though, I love Final Fantasy -- I want to be clear. But let's admit that "hurry, or The Big Bad is going to end the world by the next full moon!....but first let's grind out some levels and farm some gold and help Farmer Dan rid his chicken coop of goblins" is something that should strictly be reserved for RPGs, and doesn't make a very tight novel. The entire story is mostly a completely unrelated and random-sounding side quest.

The characterization is also sort of inconsistent. When the character that seems most developed is the unrepentantly drunk pensioner running around in the body of a 25-year-old, that's not a good sign. Also, the end is a pretty blatant expository round-up in case you missed how clever the rest of the story was.

It's not a bad book. I still listened to the whole thing, and I enjoyed some parts of it. But it did take me a long time to get through, and it isn't even that long. The plot is just entirely off the rails and doesn't make for the most cohesive story. I felt like I was listening to someone satirize another story that I hadn't read.

The performance was good, though. The narrator did well with the occasional crisp bits of humor (some have said it is Douglas Adams-esque, and I can see that -- in brief glimmers, anyway) and the voices.

I am really quite sorry I can't give a more positive review. I don't consider my time wasted listening to it, but it wouldn't entice me to read any more from this author as it stands.

10 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for John Williams
  • John Williams
  • 05-03-2017

Enjoyable ride

I quite enjoyed this absurdist comedy. The story is satisfying and the humor will bring a smile to your face. The story circles around a man who has absented himself from society until one day an angel and a demon show up on his door step demanding he pick one to give his living room carpet to and thus decide the fate of the world. After that, the story starts to get strange. This wont be your book of the year, but it is fun.

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for L. Bailey
  • L. Bailey
  • 26-05-2019

Engrossing. Fun. Heartening.

The premise is ridiculous and surprising and yet thoroughly enjoyable. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the characters more and more as I listened. The performance was excellent and I felt the difference in characters speaking without making the narration weird or silly. couldn't stop listening.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Varying Degrees Of Right
  • Varying Degrees Of Right
  • 31-07-2018

Didn’t expect to love it

I initially bought this audiobook based solely on the sample of the narrator’s performance (which holds up throughout the book), but genuinely had no expectations for liking the story.

I was immediately wrong.

The witty humor had me stifling giggles in public - note that I am 38 years old - and the premise had completely grabbed me by the end of Chapter 2. Normally an avid serial TV watcher, I found myself spending the whole night with my headphones in and my TV off. I have found a new favorite narrator, for certain, and surprisingly stumbled across a new favorite author.

If you are a fan of silly but intelligent humor mixed with a touch of fantasy & the ridiculous, similar to Dirk Gently or Hitchhiker’s Guide by Douglas Adams, please give this book a try. Surprisingly awesome.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Amazon Customer
  • Amazon Customer
  • 11-04-2017

Enjoyable and light hearted

A merry light reading, although a bit juvenile. some parts could have been written by a raunchy hormone fueled teenager. Very well performed

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for marcus reed
  • marcus reed
  • 01-05-2019

Excellent!

Except for the terrible southern and Cajun accents. Somebody should have caught that. But very fun story with twists and overall good voice performance!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Ann
  • Ann
  • 17-03-2019

Imaginative and funny

Wonderful story. Engaging, and paints a great picture in the telling my only complaint is the profanity. I laughed while doing chores or other tedious things with the story keeping my mind occupied. Much ado about a carpet. Loved it.
I am a serious fan of books that are god logic themed so very funny. Immortals, prophets, chosen ones, it is all funny to me.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Andrew L. Carter
  • Andrew L. Carter
  • 02-04-2019

a good but long story.

an enjoyable but at times too wordy story. good for a long road trip .

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for K. P.
  • K. P.
  • 06-06-2018

it's amusing. Performance is good. Mostly cute.

This isn't a book I'd recommend, but I got it and listened. The story is a bit too silly but it's amusing. It's pretty cute and fine for a long drive.

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Kristi
  • Kristi
  • 23-09-2017

NOT a substitute for Douglas Adams

This was clearly trying to be another Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It fails miserably.

1 person found this helpful

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Misspelt
  • Misspelt
  • 27-03-2017

A Good Yarn

Although billed as a comedy I didn't laugh out loud. I think it true to say that it is a humour that youngsters might find more amusing. That aside it was witty, had a lot of novel aspects to it on the fantasy theme, ticked along at a good pace and I definitely wished to hear what happened to our hapless hero.
I haven't read (though this was audio!) any books (other than Neil Gaiman's) that throw such variety in. Well worth the indulgence of listening. The narration was great. Why not 5 stars? There are books out there that top this on every aspect but it all boils down to personal preference.

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Simon
  • Simon
  • 01-08-2017

Brilliant 5 star audio book

If you could sum up Carpet Diem in three words, what would they be?

Funny, strange, Brilliant

Who was your favorite character and why?

I thought all the characters were brilliant and as realistic as possible when four of them are Angel/Demons, one is a man who turns into a faun who know what everyone is thinking, and two are mortals.

What about Matthew Lloyd Davies’s performance did you like?

I felt Matthew brought the characters to life in a way I have not heard from an audio book in a while. It was obvious when a different character was talking and he got all their voices consistent throughout the story

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for John
  • John
  • 20-09-2017

Harriet for Prime Minister

Superb narrative. Brilliantly written. Amazing characters. Extremely funny. Odd swear word, so beware. Long live all the Harriet 's of this world. This will be one of those books I will never tire of reading and listening too. I am a huge fan of Tom Holt and Robert Rankin. Mr Anderson is on a par with the pair of them. More please.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Peter Casebow
  • Peter Casebow
  • 16-03-2017

Great story well read

Justin Anderson has created a wonderfully imaginative new world to explore and enjoy. Well read by Matthew Davies.

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for ÅÖ
  • ÅÖ
  • 27-03-2019

Intruiging story and ace narrator

This is an odd and surprising story that makes you want to continue listening. The narrator does a great job with the personifications, voices and accents. Thoroughly enjoyed it!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Sheila
  • Sheila
  • 08-05-2018

Quirky humorous tale. <br />

Brilliant narration. Clever analogies with amusing characters that make you giggle. Plenty of twists in the tale.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Amazon Customer
  • Amazon Customer
  • 02-05-2020

Brilliant story & narration, a lot of fun!

Really enjoyed this - it's a good adventure and brilliant characters. Funny moments in this too.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Drwhogirl
  • Drwhogirl
  • 05-04-2020

Amazing

Highly recommend it, the narrator was fantastic and the story was amazing. If you liked Good Omens you are sure to enjoy this.

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for MISS J A CALVO
  • MISS J A CALVO
  • 30-01-2019

Don't read unless ....

Don't read this book unless you're a teenage boy, or a middle aged man who never leaves his house and likes soft porn.
The story could've been fun and witty, with some likely characters, however the constant references to women's body parts, sex, lots of men objectifyung women, mild peodophilic references and constant unfunny Benny Hill style humour made this book unlistenable.
As a Terry Pratchett and Tom Holt fan I thought this might be right up my street from the description, nothing prepared me for how boring the constant lewdness became. If you enjoy Benny Hill, Carry on moveis and soft porn all done with very little real humour then this might be for you.
I couldn't even listen to the end. The description should be more clear on what you're actually getting if you purchase this book. I want my credit back!!!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Kindle Customer
  • Kindle Customer
  • 07-07-2020

Brilliant book

Great characters, fast paced and so funny! Will listen to again. Great narration as well.